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  • #46
    Originally posted by SadAndTired View Post
    I wonder Rioe, since less than 5% of people actually make it to court, (perhaps a slightly higher percentage on this board since many here face difficult issues), does the majority of people need to be critically picked apart to prepare them for a court they will never face?

    That is a big qualm for me on this board is that posters are "picked apart" under the defense of "preparing" them but they never ask for this preparation nor will they likely be in a situation to use it.
    Even if they do not go to court, they still have to deal with the other side in negotiations etc. Picking apart the flaws in their arguements may help them with getting a reasonable settlement quicker.

    If a person comes to this board asking for opinions or advice hen they are asking in a roundabout way for the preparation.

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    • #47
      Originally posted by standing on the sidelines View Post
      If a person comes to this board asking for opinions or advice then they are asking in a roundabout way for the preparation.
      Indeed! As much as I hate to admit it, when I first joined this forum I was expecting sympathy and moral support concerning my particular DV situation.

      What I wasen't expecting was cold hard facts as to how to better handle the legal aspects of my court case.

      My lawyer has the same approach - advising me to put aside my feelings (keep that for my therapist) and concentrate on preparing a proper settlement. It can be very frustrating for a DV victim to accept the reality of no fault divorce, but one has to in order to not be a victim of their own expectations.

      This forum was a 'wake up call' for me and am now better equiped to work with my lawyer in a more productive way.

      I do understand what you are going through, and wish you all the best in the future.

      Jan xx

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      • #48
        Originally posted by SoccerMom73 View Post
        Gee whiz, I’ve read over these threads and am quite blown away. The whole reason I came on this forum was to try to get objective advice and feedback. I was quite aware that there would be opinions quite different or opposite to mine and I’m quite ok with that. What I’m not particularly ok with is having every statement I make picked apart. I didn’t realize I was on trial here lol.

        Sadly, it appears that although there is some great input on this forum and while much of the great feedback on this thread was opposite to my own outlook, there is also a great deal of hate and bitterness towards women on this forum. It couldn’t be more obvious if I was hit in the head by it. Oh wait but that’s not a big deal eh, wretched Otis? Would it change your mind btw if my ex acknowledged he could have killed me by the single blow to my temple? Let me guess, likely not…you are probably having a little chuckle to yourself right now about it.

        Wretchedotis, my ex was not given a conditional discharge YET as I’ve stated that he hasn’t been sentenced yet. He was given a conditional discharge on his last charge with a prior girlfriend that occurred in 2005. He will LIKELY receive another one this time around. So maybe you should read through the material before making such a ridiculous comment. And right…your statement about the punch to head is not as big of a deal as I think it is. Neither is the grabbing me by the back of my head and hitting my face into the middle console a number of times, huh? Honestly, I feel very sorry for you to have such an outlook. Even sorrier for your partner as I hope she isn’t on the receiving end of that one day. Sounds like you do a pretty good job of justifying it. You and my ex should start a club J Oh wait, from the tone of many of the responses he’s probably a regular contributor on here.

        I’m sure there are women out there that do use domestic abuse charges to further their money grab and keep a good father from his children. I doubt there are as many as there are abusers but I’m sure there are. Just like there are deadbeat dads who have their kids witness abuse and could injure them in the process but still feel they are entitled to the same rights that responsible loving dads have. Not that I think you’re one of those slughead
        So although some of the feedback here has been appreciated and helpful too much of it is indicative of a caveman-type mentality. I find it rather disturbing this type of mentality actually exists and to be honest though I appreciate some of it (HammerDad and stripes) many of your responses make me sick to my stomach.

        Btw, Tayken I appreciate all of your advice on mental health and yes you did allude to the fact that I MAY be suffering from mental health issues lol. Don’t worry, my counselor is quite well-versed in treating victims of abuse, as well as individuals who commit assault, of which many don’t take accountability. I totally get that a number of you are baiting and I don’t understand where all that hate comes from. Perhaps some of you could benefit from some therapy to outlet some of that anger and hatred as opposed to picking apart individuals on here who are just looking for objective feedback. Btw, Tayken I still don’t like the conflict but I guess maybe I’m growing a backbone through my therapy. Hey it’s working J Good luck to you all... Peace out....
        Yep, you're right. I misunderstood some of what you said.

        But my point remains valid.
        "it is what it is".

        You don't say what the actual charge was/is - so I can't really say much more.

        But if you're expecting much more than a suspended sentence this time - I fear you will be disappointed.

        Comment

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