my teen doesn't want to communicate with other parent much, because of a poor relationship generally for, many years, but much worse just before and since separating. Other parent does not acknowledge their role in it at all, has never once apologized to child for this parents treatment of child in the past, and continues to speak to teen various inappropriate ways.
So teen did not always answer all the texts or phone calls. parent had an expectation every text should be answered ASAP. Sometimes did, more often did not. So the parent took the phone away (that was purchased by that parent). It has been few months now I'd like to get a new phone for teen. Teen wants a phone, but also is unlikely to start communicating more. Id also like to avoid a confrontation with ex over a phone. The underlying issue is that when ex got the phone, started communicating with teen a lot more. Teen would rather not communicate with parent at all and only goes to visit routinely because I havent given an option to not go. Teen cant control not communicating in person at parents house, but on the phone teen can control if and when communicates. If I just go and get a phone there is sure to be some bruhaha over it from ex. If I tell ex first Im getting a phone, likley will say that I am trying to make all the decisions without him. I dont want teen to go phoneless until adulthood. Honestly I want to replace the cell but I dont want to deal with the fall out so I am siting on the fence in inaction.
It feels like a condition of having a phone is communication with that parent. In a sense I can agree with that for the person who bought the phone, but not with having a phone at all. If ex bought the phone and took it away I guess that is their prerogative, but also feel it is my prerogative to also get a phone for teen.
Yet on the other hand the plus of not having a phone is that teen doesn't have to walk on egg shells all the time, all day and evening long about whether or not should answer a text and worrying about the ramifications of not answering/answering. I lived that for 20+. last week received a text and an email in the morning that I did not answer right away, because I didn't want to and the content would not have to be answered until first thing Monday morning in time for business hours. By 1:00 that day I had a phone call telling me I should have already responded.
Is it reasonable for parent to take phone away in this circumstance?
Is it reasonable for other parent to get a new phone for teen?
So teen did not always answer all the texts or phone calls. parent had an expectation every text should be answered ASAP. Sometimes did, more often did not. So the parent took the phone away (that was purchased by that parent). It has been few months now I'd like to get a new phone for teen. Teen wants a phone, but also is unlikely to start communicating more. Id also like to avoid a confrontation with ex over a phone. The underlying issue is that when ex got the phone, started communicating with teen a lot more. Teen would rather not communicate with parent at all and only goes to visit routinely because I havent given an option to not go. Teen cant control not communicating in person at parents house, but on the phone teen can control if and when communicates. If I just go and get a phone there is sure to be some bruhaha over it from ex. If I tell ex first Im getting a phone, likley will say that I am trying to make all the decisions without him. I dont want teen to go phoneless until adulthood. Honestly I want to replace the cell but I dont want to deal with the fall out so I am siting on the fence in inaction.
It feels like a condition of having a phone is communication with that parent. In a sense I can agree with that for the person who bought the phone, but not with having a phone at all. If ex bought the phone and took it away I guess that is their prerogative, but also feel it is my prerogative to also get a phone for teen.
Yet on the other hand the plus of not having a phone is that teen doesn't have to walk on egg shells all the time, all day and evening long about whether or not should answer a text and worrying about the ramifications of not answering/answering. I lived that for 20+. last week received a text and an email in the morning that I did not answer right away, because I didn't want to and the content would not have to be answered until first thing Monday morning in time for business hours. By 1:00 that day I had a phone call telling me I should have already responded.
Is it reasonable for parent to take phone away in this circumstance?
Is it reasonable for other parent to get a new phone for teen?
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