My ex wife had another child and wants support

[dadthatshadenough]

So 4 yrs after our divorce, my ex meets another guy, and had another child last month.

It was a simple break, everything was split down the middle, she bought me out of the house and we share custody of our 7yo girl. There was no alimony or child support paid to each other for the last 4 yrs.

She is a lawyer and makes at least $150k when employed, and her bf now lives with her in the matrimonial home. She lives a lavish lifestyle, ($1.5M home, big parties, big furniture, BMW etc.) I couldn't give a crap, and live well below my means.

There is 10 months left in her mat leave, and now that her companies 7 week top up has ended, she wants money from me.

I'm self employed and my income has fluctuated pretty dramatically over the last 2 years due to some restructuring in my business. Some months its been as low as $30k/yr.

Only recently it's got a bit better, but, I never asked her for anything when things were bad for me, no top ups from her and I just kept my problem my problem and soldiered on.

I continued to pay 50% of all expenses and extra curricular activities. I just adjusted my lifestyle and worked harder to fix my business.

Now she is making her problem my problem and asking for me to pay her $500/m (she says it would be over $1,000/m and acting like she is doing me a favour) because she is on mat leave.

Thoughts? What does family law say about this type of situation?

[arabian]

Ignore. If/when she serves you with a Notice of Motion then contemplate your situation. She's merely toying with you IMO. Sometimes people with too much time on their hands will do this.

She knows very well that the divorce/separation agreement would be first and foremost in any sort of claim for SS 4 years after the fact. A review of your respective finances would ensue and her previous years' income would be weighed along with the "need" factor. Even if you were married for several decades I think her claim is weak because it is 4 years post-divorce.

[dadthatshadenough]

Thanks, we were married for less than 4 years.

[arabian]

must have been a very stressful 4 years... Do the words "irrational" and "wind-bag" ring true?

[rockscan]

If she pushes, figure out how much off set support was supposed to be and tell her you will agree to support but since she owes you $wxyz from the last three years you will waive it until that amount wears off and will reasses what the monthly cs is when her income changes.

She has no claim for ss and probably owes you cs since her income was so high.

[Bellbaby]

I'm in that situation - I had a baby, a few years after I separated from the father of my other two (older) children. I am on maternity leave right now.

I did NOT ask for an increased amount of child support.

My rational is, my loss of income is due to another man's child. Not his issue. If it were not for this pregnancy, I would have the potential to continue making the income I made prior to having the new baby.

I essentially imputed income. On myself. I hope this makes sense....

[hopefull]

^^ you won't have been able to get increased child support anyway. Your ex did NOT tell you to go get pregnant again, and it's not his child that is keeping you from working.

If any top up is needed, it will be your new baby daddy that you should be going after.

[Bellbaby]

Relax!!! That is exactly what I said. The manners on this forum are lacking

[stripes]

I think the original poster said that neither he nor his ex have paid CS for four years - which is a problem. If the child is residing equally with each parent, Mom has a good claim for offset child support, so Dad may be on the hook for that. Dad should make sure that offset is calculated correctly (search this forum for "offset child support" and use the Federal Child Support Guidelines for Mom and Dad's incomes). Don't just use figures Mom is pulling out of the air. The fact that Mom's income has declined because she is on parental leave (not "mat leave") doesn't matter - people's incomes fluctuate for all kinds of reasons. When Mom gets back from parental leave, assuming her income goes back up, she'll probably be paying offset to Dad if she's a very high earner.

Spousal support (alimony) is another matter altogether, and Mom having another baby doesn't affect her entitlement (or lack thereof) to spousal support, so no change there.

[Links17]

Getting pregnant and going on maternity leave justifies an increase in child support. Legally speaking.

The mother is the higher earner and has never paid the dad child support. I think she'd be on the hook for the past 3 years.

[SelfRepmom77]

Stipes I think how it works with split custody, Mom was to pay dad $1200/month if he had full time, and dad was to pay mom $500 if mom had full time mom would owe dad the difference of $700.

Somehow here I think mom would be on the hook here if she pursued anything!

The higher income earner is to pay out.

Sounds to me like she's grasping at straws here... (no professional here just experience lol)

[rockscan]

Stipes I think how it works with split custody, Mom was to pay dad $1200/month if he had full time, and dad was to pay mom $500 if mom had full time mom would owe dad the difference of $700.

Somehow here I think mom would be on the hook here if she pursued anything!

The higher income earner is to pay out.

Sounds to me like she's grasping at straws here... (no professional here just experience lol)

This is how I understood it which is why I suggested he tell her the total amount owing for the last three years and see if she still wants to pursue support.

[stripes]

If Dad never raised the issue of child support with Mom in the last four years, he won't have much luck getting retroactive payments. Going forward, he may have to pay Mom offset now while her income is low because of parental leave, but then if she goes back to a higher income, she will be paying him the difference between their child support obligations.

The moral: if you don't pursue child support at the time you are entitled to it, it's very difficult to claim backdated CS later unless you have some very unusual circumstances.

[hopefull]

Damn right...and the decision to have another kid with another man is of her own will, after she had separated /divorce from the first guy.

Getting pregnant and going on maternity leave justifies an increase in child support. Legally speaking.

The mother is the higher earner and has never paid the dad child support. I think she'd be on the hook for the past 3 years.

[standing on the sidelines]

Damn right...and the decision to have another kid with another man is of her own will, after she had separated /divorce from the first guy.

How do you feel about fathers wanting to cut down CS for their kids from a previous relationship when they have kids in a new relationship?