So I have a shared parenting plan and have enjoyed some great times with my daughter, now 4 1/2. Things in life have gotten better.
The exwife is a constant hassle. By hassle, its not a thorn in the side issue. It's more of a minion of evil issue.
We are divorced and have been living separately for more than a year. I've been seeing a lovely woman thats an elementary school teacher for a year who is also divorced with children of her own that play well with my daughter. We took a vacation together with our kids in the summer for 10 days, its been nice.
The problem is my ex is judgement & critical of everything. It doesn't matter what I do, every choice is wrong and because I formally cut off phone communication with her to hopefully curb the nonsense, I now get an earful by text or email about it.
I thought by the time my ex would have found someone she would have chilled out.
She had a bunch of failed relationships that never flourished, but finally has a guy that has stuck around for a few months. I figured by the time she was getting f%^ked properly, the evil minion in her would have calmed down just a little bit.
But no.
Our schedule is every other weekend, and two non consecutive days during the week each. Every time my daughter is in my care, she wants to Skype or facetime with her. It's only on the weekends that I don't have my daughter that I request a call, but my ex must be in constant contact. Every. Single. Day.
Every call consists of "look what mommy bought you today" "mummy has a surprise for you" "mummy misses you so much" etc.
Our separation agreement just says each parent will allow the other reasonable contact by phone/skype etc. It also says you can't harass, speak ill of the other parent. Basically leave the other parent in peace. My daughter asked me the other day "Daddy, are you an idiot". I'm not even getting into that here.
On thanksgiving yesterday It wasn't my weekend but our agreement gives me the thanksgiving monday. I picked her up for Monday around 11. Well By about 5 the texts started with "when can I Facetime" "I'm going out and want to facetime" "D4 wanted to facetime with me today" etc.
She had just seen her that morning, and my daughter never even asked about contacting mummy not to mention I had my family and my g/f and her kids over.
I've allowed these factime calls every time my daughter was with me as i didn't see much harm. I see a few problems now.
-Its infringing on my time, the constant texts to facetime are getting in the way of my enjoyment time with my daughter. My ex basically expects me to respond to her text requests every time.
-The nature of the facetime calls are disturbing. Its like my ex is trying to smother with contact, and buy attention with trinkets
I talked to my lawyer in the past and basically he said "well whats good for the goose is good for the gander". Essentially, let her contact at the same frequency you contact your daughter. But I haven't pulled back yet on the ex's contact.
The other problem is the long winded emails I get bitching about everything under the sun and moon.
Oh my daughter saw my g/f naked when she was getting changed and I have no values, oh the sleeping arrangements are wrong everytime my g/f and I are with our kids together or on vacation with our kids. I dont make our daughter feel safe with sleeping arrangements. How our daughter sees my g/f & I naked in the middle of the night when she gets up if she is scared.
I could go on and on with her trivial nonsense and its not just limited to my g/f. My family, my car seat, my car, my daughters bike helmet etc are all wrong too.
Now I dont talk to my ex unless its a scheduling issue, and almost all exchanges happen at school now. So all this information is coming from her interrogating our 4 1/2 yr old daughter.
Kids at that age will parrot back whatever someone asks with a leading question. Any my ex is a lawyer so she does it real well.
My ex is quite literally a crazy control freak.
I've done nothing wrong. Our daughter is safe. My g/f is the closest thing to Mary Poppins you can find, and her kids are excellent.
Its gotten to the point where I can't sleep sometimes because I'm thinking about this nutbar exwife, her long winded BS emails and what to do.
Speaking from experience, how did you deal with a ex like this?
Do you just tell her to raise her complaints before a judge?
Do you ignore it totally?
What about the daily factime/skype call requests?
I divorced this crazy controlling woman, but she wont give it a rest.
The exwife is a constant hassle. By hassle, its not a thorn in the side issue. It's more of a minion of evil issue.
We are divorced and have been living separately for more than a year. I've been seeing a lovely woman thats an elementary school teacher for a year who is also divorced with children of her own that play well with my daughter. We took a vacation together with our kids in the summer for 10 days, its been nice.
The problem is my ex is judgement & critical of everything. It doesn't matter what I do, every choice is wrong and because I formally cut off phone communication with her to hopefully curb the nonsense, I now get an earful by text or email about it.
I thought by the time my ex would have found someone she would have chilled out.
She had a bunch of failed relationships that never flourished, but finally has a guy that has stuck around for a few months. I figured by the time she was getting f%^ked properly, the evil minion in her would have calmed down just a little bit.
But no.
Our schedule is every other weekend, and two non consecutive days during the week each. Every time my daughter is in my care, she wants to Skype or facetime with her. It's only on the weekends that I don't have my daughter that I request a call, but my ex must be in constant contact. Every. Single. Day.
Every call consists of "look what mommy bought you today" "mummy has a surprise for you" "mummy misses you so much" etc.
Our separation agreement just says each parent will allow the other reasonable contact by phone/skype etc. It also says you can't harass, speak ill of the other parent. Basically leave the other parent in peace. My daughter asked me the other day "Daddy, are you an idiot". I'm not even getting into that here.
On thanksgiving yesterday It wasn't my weekend but our agreement gives me the thanksgiving monday. I picked her up for Monday around 11. Well By about 5 the texts started with "when can I Facetime" "I'm going out and want to facetime" "D4 wanted to facetime with me today" etc.
She had just seen her that morning, and my daughter never even asked about contacting mummy not to mention I had my family and my g/f and her kids over.
I've allowed these factime calls every time my daughter was with me as i didn't see much harm. I see a few problems now.
-Its infringing on my time, the constant texts to facetime are getting in the way of my enjoyment time with my daughter. My ex basically expects me to respond to her text requests every time.
-The nature of the facetime calls are disturbing. Its like my ex is trying to smother with contact, and buy attention with trinkets
I talked to my lawyer in the past and basically he said "well whats good for the goose is good for the gander". Essentially, let her contact at the same frequency you contact your daughter. But I haven't pulled back yet on the ex's contact.
The other problem is the long winded emails I get bitching about everything under the sun and moon.
Oh my daughter saw my g/f naked when she was getting changed and I have no values, oh the sleeping arrangements are wrong everytime my g/f and I are with our kids together or on vacation with our kids. I dont make our daughter feel safe with sleeping arrangements. How our daughter sees my g/f & I naked in the middle of the night when she gets up if she is scared.
I could go on and on with her trivial nonsense and its not just limited to my g/f. My family, my car seat, my car, my daughters bike helmet etc are all wrong too.
Now I dont talk to my ex unless its a scheduling issue, and almost all exchanges happen at school now. So all this information is coming from her interrogating our 4 1/2 yr old daughter.
Kids at that age will parrot back whatever someone asks with a leading question. Any my ex is a lawyer so she does it real well.
My ex is quite literally a crazy control freak.
I've done nothing wrong. Our daughter is safe. My g/f is the closest thing to Mary Poppins you can find, and her kids are excellent.
Its gotten to the point where I can't sleep sometimes because I'm thinking about this nutbar exwife, her long winded BS emails and what to do.
Speaking from experience, how did you deal with a ex like this?
Do you just tell her to raise her complaints before a judge?
Do you ignore it totally?
What about the daily factime/skype call requests?
I divorced this crazy controlling woman, but she wont give it a rest.
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