Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

LOA Gives you Wings

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • #91
    That-a-boy Head. A sigh of relief I bet? Joint with parallel. How'd you swing that at an SC?

    So what ... no trial for LAO? How did you get ex to discuss settlement? Or did she refuse and judge decided for her?

    2-2-3? Excellent! Did she come in with all the same tired allegations?

    C'mon .. juicy details. Your case is similar to mine in many respects and I have another SC approaching (after another OCL update). I'd looove that SC judge to make some final orders instead of schedule trial dates.

    Comment


    • #92
      Yes, we need updates. Similar case here too!


      Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

      Comment


      • #93
        Great news Headwaters! Congrats to you and your son!

        Preparing for TMC in a couple of weeks and wanting to bang my head on the keyboard preparing my Request to Admit and draft of Opening Statement.

        Any pointers would be appreciated!

        Comment


        • #94
          Opening Statements

          Originally posted by YoungDad23 View Post
          Great news Headwaters! Congrats to you and your son!

          Preparing for TMC in a couple of weeks and wanting to bang my head on the keyboard preparing my Request to Admit and draft of Opening Statement.

          Any pointers would be appreciated!
          Hey buddy. Check this out for Opening Statements. Courtesy of Mr. T.http://www.beardwinter.com/wp-conten...d-A-Jarvis.pdf

          Comment


          • #95
            Well I would like to say it was because I wrote a beautiful brief (I really think I did). I prioritized what I wanted to say, kept it to 10 pages (we were open in all issues) and I cut out all adverbs. I avoided grossly, egregiously, outrageously...when something wasn't truthful, I would just say "There is no basis in fact." It really was a thing of beauty, I might frame it.

            But...it played no part in our settlement. Her lawyer suggested before going into to see the judge we try to discuss. I said wow, I've sent you many emails requesting an opportunity to discuss and received no response. She said "yes because you are a self rep." Just like that. Wow. Arrogance....

            We began discussing the custody and parallel parenting plan. She was being very passive aggressive and I was talking in a very slow and low tone. I think that pissed her off...she got louder and talked faster.

            i won't go into the things we were disagreeing on but when I didn't agree with her on the first major point she threw up her hands and said, oh well we're not getting anywhere. This is pointless. It was just a show in my opinion. But didn't bother me one bit. I knew my proposal was very fair. Off to see Justice.

            In court the judge let us each speak, her lawyer first since she is the applicant and then I. We each spent 5 minutes tops summarizing our issues. Then the judge said well you guys should go to mediation.

            We spent 4 hours there. Court appointed, free. She was very very good. An older woman in her late 50s. She first saw my ex and her lawyer and they were in there for 40 minutes. Then me for something similar. And then back to them and on and on it went.

            She basically just listened and then repeated back our arguments to the other side. But because it wasn't coming from the other side I think it really worked.

            I have to say without gloating too much, I punted almost everything I wanted out and really made only a minor concession on a limited event. Although I honest do feel I have conceded a lot to get here, prior through OCL disclosure.

            We wrote up what we agreed on, leaving a lot of clauses out. (If it was contentious we just dropped it). Stuff I think is silly like third party facilitator...

            Then took it into court and the judge read it over in front of us. Awkward 15 minutes of silence. Bam! Done!

            I still think it's amazing the judge doesn't rip my ex a new one for making all those allegations and then just dropping them when they can't be verified.

            THERE REALLY ARE NO CONSEQUENCES IN FAMILY COURT. How long have I known this but it just floors you how everyone moves on past it...those allegations will probably linger over me for the next 15 years. They really did hurt. But poof, gone and nobody gives a shit.

            I think the big difference for you LF32 is the OCL. It was very good for me, they were downright evil to you. They came out and just said my ex was full of crap. Sorry, lacked credibility.

            I think your next OCL will come your way.

            Still a long road ahead for me too. Next up is travel and all things financial. Ding ding...round two.

            Comment


            • #96
              Oh and no to answer your question LF she didn't come in with anything about the allegations. They were just untouched.

              Which again amazes me. The front half of the continuing record is littered with blazing allegations of horrible things. Then....silence. Now they fight tooth and nail on every other point. Want to reverse the marriage contract, want to Impute my income because I run a corporation but just arbitrarily (no calculation).

              It's crazy, no shame. If I was found out, I'd be trotting off with my tail between my legs. But oh no...these puppies were all teeth walking in.

              Comment


              • #97
                Here is a legal question. It seems they forgot to actually ask to set aside the marriage contract in the pleadings. So the lawyer at the end stood up and said " we like to add this now". The judge looked at me and I said "err ahumm I don't think I have the legal knowledge to make that decision right now." I was kind of caught off guard. So he said no. Both parties must consent. Go for a motion if you want to try that.

                So now...when that comes up as a motion...and I say "no" like I should have today. What happens? Can you just keep expanding the issues in court? Tacking on things you forgot to beg for in the begining?

                It's so funny because the affidavits talk about the marriage contract and crap all over it but I guess they didn't specifically ask for it to be struck down.

                Is this a big break or just likely to be allowed in later?

                Comment


                • #98
                  Ahh .. so LOA didn't get funding for trial perhaps. Was trial ever even discussed?

                  You're lucky .. LAO lawyer sat your ex down and gave her the business .. settle settle settle .. or you're in deep caca. So she did. I wont be so lucky. I cant see my ex dropping all the allegations. She's an all-or-nothing type of gal.

                  Was parallel parenting, etc your idea?

                  Sounds like you snipped some LAO wings. False allegations which AGAIN a party couldnt prove. I know what that does to a person. Ive been an alcoholic, sexual predator, verbally and physically abusive .. WOW .. that hurts a human being deep down to be called those things.....purely for court/custody strategy.

                  Nope .. No consequences .. but hey they give tickets to JAYWALKERS. Go figure.

                  Did you ever do that letter to the ombudsman that we spoke of?

                  I'm still surprised that final orders were handed out t the SC .. and that it was OP's idea to settle. WOW! Seriously they must of had no case at all.

                  I pray that happens at my next SC. Lets MOVE ON!!!!!

                  To answer your q's about going back again and again. I believe Mr. T, was correct .. this rarely EVER ends one one party is high conflict. Be glad you're a self-rep and know the ropes pretty well. I have a lawyer but I prepare everything for her (I pay her very little .. so I do most the work) .. so I'm basically self-repping, with her being the voice in the court room and taking care of communicating with pitbull LAO.

                  Once you clip the the other LAO wing your ex will just start learning the ropes. You'll be lightyears ahead and comfortable in all dimensions of family court. Bravo!

                  It will never end my friend. We have to make it a part of life.
                  Last edited by LovingFather32; 07-18-2015, 10:13 AM.

                  Comment


                  • #99
                    Yes parallel was my idea way back to OCL. It's a joke really. In your case you might try it the opposite way you get medical and she gets education. (I know you work in the school system). Both parties discuss and can talk to the professions but if there is disagreement then final is the person designated.

                    There are so few BIG decisions one has to make. Raising a child is really all in the million of little choices we make each day when they are with us. It's very unimportant really the medical/education/religion thing.

                    Interesting on LAO... I caught the lawyer saying to the mediator that she got off the phone with legal aid and they ok'd "it". I am assuming the four hours to mediate.

                    So the noose might be tightening. And after our discussion broke up I said great then we can go to trial...you'll get paid. I wanted them to know I have no worries about standing up on my own. (I think that's the one thing the brief made clear...I can very effectively communicate my points.) I'd be a formidable opponent in court.

                    Sorry I never did write that letter. It makes me nervous. But I would like to complain after. The fact she would not discuss issues to narrow because I am a self- rep is disgusting and plain wrong.

                    There is a class war the lawyer is playing. I am unfit to even talk to.

                    It will be interesting to see how far LAO will continue to fund this. The next issues are Travel (I need restrictions if she travel home to foreign country) and child support, they want to open up spousal support.

                    They also want to go on a fishing expedition on my company. All my contractor invoices, all my individual transactions. I have shared all detailed corporate tax filings and income statements and balance sheets.

                    I don't control the company (shared ownership with someone not related) and its very clearly a viable (real) business, not my alter ego or some shelter. There is nothing to suggest I am avoiding my obligations....no dubious lumps sums or unusual line items...she just wants to poke around. So I have researched that and it's called piercing the corporate veil. That will become an interesting point of law when we get to it.

                    If anyone has thoughts on that subject. But I know it bores most of the readers here

                    It's weird because my wife ran a business (sole proprietor not incorporated) and I simply asked a few questions about expenses (completely flubbed expenses for which I payed 99% of like rent) and the response back was quite literally "refused".

                    So in the spirit of consistency...why would I?

                    Ok now I'm rambling...

                    Comment


                    • lol ... now its money money money. Judges will catch on.

                      Give this a quick read:
                      Lying accusers: charged, sued, fined

                      Comment


                      • LovingFather32, do we have the same ex?! All the same accusations over here too. Insanity!


                        Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

                        Comment


                        • Originally posted by vocalfather View Post
                          LovingFather32, do we have the same ex?! All the same accusations over here too. Insanity!
                          Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
                          I think they are cloned somewhere...they all use the same playbook.

                          On top of LF32's comprehensive list, my ex threw in that I am a racist (which I'm not) and that one actually made me laugh!

                          I wonder if the judges or other court staff make bets on what the next false allegation will be against us when they are involved in our cases?

                          Comment


                          • Dude, same here!!! My daughters are biracial but somehow I became racist since court


                            Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

                            Comment


                            • Fellas if a woman drops the gloves you are doomed immediately although it does not have to be permanently. There are a few simple steps for them at their disposal that kill. I didn't worry about the personal attack ones to much but they did worry me and I think that,s the point to them.

                              More people are self reppin and that is probably the only way to beat the fact there is "no law in family law". There is only blood sweat and tears, and a whole bunch of hurtful paperwork that seems to mean nothing much unless you do not complete it. If you can not do it and can not afford it or can not ignore the baseless accusations then they win. Not fair, not fair, and all I try to teach my kids is to be fair and will continue to do so but I will also teach them how to survive and unfortunately that means definitely not playing by the rules or the laws.

                              Comment


                              • Mine were odd-ball. Above and beyond the typical emotional abuse, I was accused of financial abuse, not bathing the child, refusing to brush his teeth, forcing her to work two jobs, forcing her to quit jobs and be at home and in an early affidavit I was "failing to provide the necessities of life". And this is while she had a lawyer. She fired the lawyer.

                                In the public record was included an unpaid water bill as proof I did not provide for the family (which is odd because it assumed I was the one paying all the bills, which I was and did...the thing was 15 days over and I forgot to pay).

                                Then there was a parking ticket. It assumed because it was in the vicinity of a strip club that meant I was AT a strip club. It happens to also be down the street from a buddies place where we were playing poker. As it happens this seedy little strip club is only open fri, sat and sun but this ticket was for tuesday.

                                But the court doesn't care or have time to hear it. It bears no weight on the case but it was just an attempt at smearing and there it sits in the file ...uncontested and just plainly false....not so much as a "sorry".

                                It hurt and it won't go away too quickly...I trust everyone less now then ever.

                                Now that's what I call emotional abuse.

                                Comment

                                Our Divorce Forums
                                Forums dedicated to helping people all across Canada get through the separation and divorce process, with discussions about legal issues, parenting issues, financial issues and more.
                                Working...
                                X