Hi everyone,
I am a father of a 6 year old boy and have been seperated for over a year now. I am currently in the process of divorce.
When my ex and I split, I was working as a substitute teacher and supplimenting that with EI benefits. When the teaching year ended, I discovered that I was short the number of hours to reapply for EI and I soon found myself having to apply for welfare (in newfoundland) and applying for jobs doing such things as dish-washer. Unfortunatly I was unable to find any work and I realized I may have to look outside of the Province to find employment. I'd like to add that during all of this my ex or, soon to be ex, was keeping me from seeing or talking to my child. In any event, I was able to find a job....problem is that the job was in Nunavut. This is where I currently write you from. I have two university degrees and was able to find a wonderful position which pays me 78 grand a year. I also receive 18 grand for Northern Allowance which is intended to offset the extremely high cost of living.
In the meantime I have a lawyer back in Newfoundland working on my behalf. It is still in the preliminary stages but I am aware of what my stbx (soon to be ex) is asking for. Right off the bat my son will get $808/month and I have no problem with this even though my access costs are atrocious and to get home to see him twice a year will cost me approx $9000. My ex has said in her paperwork that she will settle for now with another $600 for her...but that she wants this amount to be much higher when we go to trial....(she is already assuming trial so this is not a good sign). She also mentions that this is "far less than the draft spousal support guidelines.." ???? She does not work and throughout the entire marriage (17 years) refused to work. Therefore she is currently on welfare.
I know that the grand total of what I receive annually is a high number at $96,100, but you would be shocked at how much it is costing me to live here in the arctic! It's at least 3 times what it would be in Newfoundland or any other province in Canada. I literally only see approx $1450 every two weeks. Of course, I live in government housing and they automatically deduct the rent from my cheque ( $1500/month) and I also had to take advantage of an interest free $5000 loan from the Gov of Nu just to get up here and to purchase all the outerwear and even the simple things such as a tv, bed clothes, dishes, microwave...etc....because my stbx has everything!
My point in mentioning the $5000 loan is that for 12 months I have to pay that back at $400/month which is also automatically deducted everytwo weeks..thus giving me a grand total of take home $1450 every two weeks.
Ok, so the cost of living her is insane and I also have to take into account that I MUST get home at least twice a year at which time I am asking to have my son the whole time. If she is successful in getting what she's asking for I will literally NOT be left with enough to afford to sustain myself here let alone come home to see my son.
I guess I am concerned that the judge will not take into account the extreme high cost of living. I am really struggleing here. I am depressed and my job is very demanding. I walk to work in temps that reach -45 and worse...while she drives the car and has my beautiful boy everyday. I feel as though I'll be working for nothing...just to support her so that she doesn't have to work.
Does anyone have anything to offer me here. Advice...comments from a legal perspective? I am really struggleing and I don't even get to talk to my son whom I call every single day but she refuses to allow me to talk to him.
Sorry for the long email guys. Just thought I should add some background.
Thanks everyone.
I am a father of a 6 year old boy and have been seperated for over a year now. I am currently in the process of divorce.
When my ex and I split, I was working as a substitute teacher and supplimenting that with EI benefits. When the teaching year ended, I discovered that I was short the number of hours to reapply for EI and I soon found myself having to apply for welfare (in newfoundland) and applying for jobs doing such things as dish-washer. Unfortunatly I was unable to find any work and I realized I may have to look outside of the Province to find employment. I'd like to add that during all of this my ex or, soon to be ex, was keeping me from seeing or talking to my child. In any event, I was able to find a job....problem is that the job was in Nunavut. This is where I currently write you from. I have two university degrees and was able to find a wonderful position which pays me 78 grand a year. I also receive 18 grand for Northern Allowance which is intended to offset the extremely high cost of living.
In the meantime I have a lawyer back in Newfoundland working on my behalf. It is still in the preliminary stages but I am aware of what my stbx (soon to be ex) is asking for. Right off the bat my son will get $808/month and I have no problem with this even though my access costs are atrocious and to get home to see him twice a year will cost me approx $9000. My ex has said in her paperwork that she will settle for now with another $600 for her...but that she wants this amount to be much higher when we go to trial....(she is already assuming trial so this is not a good sign). She also mentions that this is "far less than the draft spousal support guidelines.." ???? She does not work and throughout the entire marriage (17 years) refused to work. Therefore she is currently on welfare.
I know that the grand total of what I receive annually is a high number at $96,100, but you would be shocked at how much it is costing me to live here in the arctic! It's at least 3 times what it would be in Newfoundland or any other province in Canada. I literally only see approx $1450 every two weeks. Of course, I live in government housing and they automatically deduct the rent from my cheque ( $1500/month) and I also had to take advantage of an interest free $5000 loan from the Gov of Nu just to get up here and to purchase all the outerwear and even the simple things such as a tv, bed clothes, dishes, microwave...etc....because my stbx has everything!
My point in mentioning the $5000 loan is that for 12 months I have to pay that back at $400/month which is also automatically deducted everytwo weeks..thus giving me a grand total of take home $1450 every two weeks.
Ok, so the cost of living her is insane and I also have to take into account that I MUST get home at least twice a year at which time I am asking to have my son the whole time. If she is successful in getting what she's asking for I will literally NOT be left with enough to afford to sustain myself here let alone come home to see my son.
I guess I am concerned that the judge will not take into account the extreme high cost of living. I am really struggleing here. I am depressed and my job is very demanding. I walk to work in temps that reach -45 and worse...while she drives the car and has my beautiful boy everyday. I feel as though I'll be working for nothing...just to support her so that she doesn't have to work.
Does anyone have anything to offer me here. Advice...comments from a legal perspective? I am really struggleing and I don't even get to talk to my son whom I call every single day but she refuses to allow me to talk to him.
Sorry for the long email guys. Just thought I should add some background.
Thanks everyone.
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