For the women

[WorkingDAD]

Actually it was an entire collection of videos, Mess, not just a single picture. 13-year-old girls being raped - extremely graphic and disturbing stuff.

Well, here is my 5 cents. I did not read that original thread, but from what I read here I would say:

1. How do you know that it "13-year-old girls being raped" ? Most of it fake. I recall watch some program on television about that industry. No way it real 13 yo girls and real rape - that a movie. Have you thought about that? would it make difference for you if video would call "75-year-old girls being raped" and so on ...

2. Second thing that come to my mind reading about that is Do you really afraid about facts of it or only begin to worry during divorce / custody process?

3. And last from my point of view there is no way any parent (mother or father) would not do something REAL (not writing on a forum) about that if thous are REAL worries and not just something to use against other parent in court....

I kind of understand why Mess react like that. Just try to put your self on other side of the screen. What would you do when you read that some mom worry about father being into inappropriate porn and asking advice on a forum ?

Nothing personal as I said - just my 5 cents, if anyone really need it...

[HammerDad]

mummer - you are not a woman's rights activist. You are a "mummer activist". You are railing against an issue that the courts have already determined you are wrong about. As an adult, your daughter has an obligation to support herself in the advancement of her education. Part of the reason for this is she is the sole beneficiary of the education, and as such should have an active role in finding the means to get it. If you are looking for a way for her to get a free education, might I suggest moving to Sweden.....I hear they like your brand of socialism over there.

Canadamama - I do not agree with kiddie porn in anyway. As the father to a 6y/o girl, I find it disgusting. However, unless your ex has been charged, and more importantly convicted, of possession of child pornography, I must stay on the side of the law, which states he has a right to parenting time with his children. You say you found it, well, you should have taken the appropriate steps at that point to remedy the situation, which would have been to turn your evidence over to the authorities. After that, his rights to a relationship with his children would have been rightfully restricted. But as that isn't what happened, and all you have now is your word against his, you're arguments lose a lot of weight.

[standing on the sidelines]

yep if it is serious to be scared about dad having the kids then it is serious enough to report to the police. If the images are real then some poor child is being raped and exploited and the mother just worries about her kids being with their father. To me not reporting it to the authorites so the police can track down the child in the video and help them is just as bad as looking at the child porn

[WorkingDAD]

mummer - you are not a woman's rights activist. You are a "mummer activist". You are railing against an issue that the courts have already determined you are wrong about. As an adult, your daughter has an obligation to support herself in the advancement of her education. Part of the reason for this is she is the sole beneficiary of the education, and as such should have an active role in finding the means to get it. If you are looking for a way for her to get a free education, might I suggest moving to Sweden.....I hear they like your brand of socialism over there.

HummerDAD you are as always good. "mummer activist" -

Canadamama - I do not agree with kiddie porn in anyway. As the father to a 6y/o girl, I find it disgusting. However, unless your ex has been charged, and more importantly convicted, of possession of child pornography, I must stay on the side of the law, which states he has a right to parenting time with his children. You say you found it, well, you should have taken the appropriate steps at that point to remedy the situation, which would have been to turn your evidence over to the authorities. After that, his rights to a relationship with his children would have been rightfully restricted. But as that isn't what happened, and all you have now is your word against his, you're arguments lose a lot of weight.

100% agree.

[WorkingDAD]

yep if it is serious to be scared about dad having the kids then it is serious enough to report to the police. If the images are real then some poor child is being raped and exploited and the mother just worries about her kids being with their father. To me not reporting it to the authorites so the police can track down the child in the video and help them is just as bad as looking at the child porn

I would say it worst. Person who watch it at least did not pretend how much it worry him and all that bla bla...

I truly believe that people who into child porn is sick and need intervention. I just can not get it. Something obviously should be wired different in brain of such individuals... Very heavy topic to take on to be honest when you try to analyze what roots of all this...

sorry for little off-topic.

[canadamama]

Well, you all obviously answered without reading the original post. There was nowhere NEAR enough information in THIS thread for you to make the kinds of judgements you are making without a) reading the post and b) asking for more information, yet here you all are.

I LINKED to it - I didn't even make you do the minuscule amount of work it would have taken to go to my profile and read my first post, and STILL it was too much work.

[standing on the sidelines]

hmm you say in your linked posted that you could be arrested to. Maybe that is the motivation to not calling the police. Who cares that a child may be being video taped being raped and abused, as long as you protect yourself and can try and use it against your ex later. Obviously you watched it to and searched for more on his computer. I am totally against child porn and if i caught anyone viewing it i would report them to the authorities, say what you will but obviously it doesnt matter as much to you as it does to me as I WOULD report it

[canadamama]

hmm you say in your linked posted that you could be arrested to. Maybe that is the motivation to not calling the police. Who cares that a child may be being video taped being raped and abused, as long as you protect yourself and can try and use it against your ex later. Obviously you watched it to and searched for more on his computer. I am totally against child porn and if i caught anyone viewing it i would report them to the authorities, say what you will but obviously it doesnt matter as much to you as it does to me as I WOULD report it

Are you just making stuff up now?? WTH?

[standing on the sidelines]

Are you just making stuff up now?? WTH?

I am aware that possession of child pornography is a crime that can be prosecuted within Canada even if it is committed abroad, and that by not reporting him I myself am breaking the law. I am also aware of the bomb it would set off in our kids' lives if I did report this - he is still my children's father, and I really don't want him to go to jail.


hmmm i cut and pasted this from the link that was provided back to the post you made. Maybe you should re-read what you wrote.

[Mess]

Actually it was an entire collection of videos, Mess, not just a single picture. 13-year-old girls being raped - extremely graphic and disturbing stuff.

Bullshit here is the quote taken directly from your first post that I replied to:

and the video I had found of a 13-year-old girl who was essentially being raped.

This is not a description of "extremely graphic and disturbing stuff. "essentially being raped" in this context means a statutory rape, in that she was depicted as consenting but under age. If it was otherwise you wouldn't have used that description. You're changing your story now because, I would bet $20, that you made the whole thing up in the first place.

Funny. I have never said "Fuck you" to you,

I am saying fuck you to YOU.

and I never said you were anti-woman.

You dragged my name into a thread I had not cared to participate in, in the context of talking about males who make anti-woman posts. You are a jerk and a bullshitter and you can fuck off. Can I make it any more unequivical?

[canadamama]

I am aware that possession of child pornography is a crime that can be prosecuted within Canada even if it is committed abroad, and that by not reporting him I myself am breaking the law. I am also aware of the bomb it would set off in our kids' lives if I did report this - he is still my children's father, and I really don't want him to go to jail.


hmmm i cut and pasted this from the link that was provided back to the post you made. Maybe you should re-read what you wrote.

OK so how exactly is that going to motivate me NOT to report it??

In fact I learned later that as his wife I am not obligated to report him, but that doesn't change the fact that what you said made NO sense.

I am clear about my reasons for not reporting him: learning information like that about their father would be devastating to our children. If what I wanted was to hurt him and keep him completely out of their lives (and I didn't care about their feelings), calling the police would have been the FIRST thing I did.

So I am a villain for being concerned about their safety, a villain for not reporting it, and NOBODY has a speck of support or sympathy for someone in such an incredibly difficult spot (but I'd better make sure I don't demonize the guy SEARCHING for the kiddy porn, or restrict his access to his kids!). Man - a girl just can't win for losing around here.

I guess that trying to take a step back in the middle of an incredibly complex and emotional situation and not just going of half-cocked must just seem like some kind of crazy approach, huh?

[canadamama]

Bullshit here is the quote taken directly from your first post that I replied to:
This is not a description of "extremely graphic and disturbing stuff. "essentially being raped" in this context means a statutory rape, in that she was depicted as consenting but under age. If it was otherwise you wouldn't have used that description. You're changing your story now because, I would bet $20, that you made the whole thing up in the first place. I am saying fuck you to YOU. You dragged my name into a thread I had not cared to participate in, in the context of talking about males who make anti-woman posts. You are a jerk and a bullshitter and you can fuck off. Can I make it any more unequivical?

Hey Mess - end of the day, you had a mom who found kiddy porn on her kids' dad's computer and was subsequently concerned about their safety with him - even in such an extreme situation, you STILL side with the dad - you can't just SAY you aren't biased, when your posts so clearly show you are.

[canadamama]

BTW, Mess, it is hilarious watching you freak out with the cursing and swearing and insult-hurling, after being so disdainful of those who have become emotional in response to having been attacked on this website.

[today]

Are you serious......Mess is the most fair and reasonable contibutor here. His posts/advice are never gender biased go back and read them.....seriously!!!!
This is just crazy!!! Beyond reason..Give your head a shake.

[canadamama]

Are you serious......Mess is the most fair and reasonable contibutor here. His posts/advice are never gender biased go back and read them.....seriously!!!!

This is just crazy!!! Beyond reason..Give your head a shake.

Are you kidding me?? LOL

Read what *I* wrote, and then what he responded. His response was neither fair NOR reasonable. Fair and reasonable would have been to either respond with WHERE in my message I 'demonized' him or said I wanted to shut him out of their lives, or to come back and acknowledge that I never said it.

I am not saying he isn't knowledgeable, and he certainly is not the only culprit here, but seriously - Mess has some serious anger issues regarding women, and I say it again - the fact that he took the dad's side EVEN when the dude was downloading kiddy porn... come on now.