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Motion To Terminate CS Started. Do I Still Pay?

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  • Motion To Terminate CS Started. Do I Still Pay?

    Hi all, today is the day I have all the paperwork (Forms 15, 15A, 13, 27 and 27A) completed, signed and commissioned by a lawyer from FLIC. Before I officially serve my ex, the original copy of the SA has to be retrieved by the court (court copy on file), since the date of the original SA final order is dated August of 2005, and thus no longer on file in the courthouse due to the age (orders older than 5 years aren't kept there). So for now, I await a phone call from the courthouse to inform me that the original order has been retrieved at which time I will now have to return to the courthouse (again!!!) to have my completed papers submitted for the clerk to make two (or three???) copies to finally be able to serve the ex, and finally get the process started (yeah!!!).

    So now, in the interim, I've been instructed to fax a Confirmation Of Assignment form to the Ministry Of Community And Social Services to determine if there is an assignee to this matter which in my case I guess would be ODSP, since my ex has been collecting since our separation. I'm not too sure if FRO would be considered an assignee or not, since I'm not involved with them (we both opted out originally).

    Which leads me to my next question........

    Do I continue to pay CS like I've been doing every month, if by the time this month's payment is due, and the original SA copy hasn't yet been retrieved by the court for me to serve my ex yet? Do I still continue to pay CS AFTER I have served her? Is it legal for me to stop paying her, while this process is in the works (which I understand is going to take some time)?

    The situation here, is I have a son who is 19 now, and NOT attending FT schooling. I understand that my ex can just be a b****, and flat out refuse to settle (deliberately dragging out the process) and I'm still paying out CS that I shouldn't be paying until the process goes through. What if, miraculously my son does then manage to finally get all his high school credits completed by then, what recourse do I have to recoup the CS that I shouldn't have been paying in the meantime (if I still should be paying)?

    Those of you unfamiliar with my situation, read post #1 of this thread:

    http://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/f...-paying-20320/

    Thank you in advance for any, and all knowledgeable responses.

  • #2
    Dont pay it. She will be served this week or next. If she asks, ignore her. Then when you know shes been served see what she says.

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    • #3
      Dont pay it but keep it in your account just in case things don't go the way it should.

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      • #4
        Well, I got a response in the mail today. It appears there is NOT an assignee to this. Hmmmmm....... So does this mean ODSP doesn't know she's still collecting CS from me or not? I know that being on ODSP (or any type of Government support agency) requires the recipient to disclose any other monies coming in, not to mention anyone else that is residing in the household.

        The point I'm getting at, is once the motion is filed, it seems everything financial on her side is going to have to come out too, which likely means ODSP is going to find out too, even if they don't have to be served as well.

        I find it interesting that my fax went through and I got a response back with an FRO case number, even though I'm not involved with them.

        I now sit and wait for that fateful phone call from the courthouse.....

        Anybody have any links to a CANLII about a similar situation to mine? I could use a good laugh right now.

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        • #5
          With social services no longer clawing back CS from clients, by the time you get this sorted out in court the ODSP thing will no longer be an issue, not sure that issue is worth the time and money to pursue. You've done nothing about it until now, may as well just ignore the ODSP Part.

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          • #6
            I finally got the call from the courthouse......along with an email from the ex

            Well folks. I finally got a phone call with a voicemail message left on my home phone today from the courthouse informing me the original COURT COPY of the 2005 Separation Agreement has finally arrived. This means all I need to do now, is go back to the courthouse to get all the paperwork signed, sealed and prepared, ready to SERVE HER. But before that happened.......

            .............. I got an interesting email from my ex. She advised me that she will need to pay $500 for my son to apply to Sheridan College by December. Those of you unfamiliar, he is still 5 and half credits short of his high school diploma, and he's now 19 turning 20 by the end of this July. He's currently attending PAS, an alternative learning institution for students who are short on high school credits to be able to obtain them on an independent, work-at-your-own-pace type of arrangement. For full details, simply click on the link in the initial post of this thread.

            I have since found out that to APPLY for college, it only costs $95. At Sheridan College, he can also apply as a mature student if he's 19. Which leads me to my next questions. Do I serve her first? Or do I email her back to ask for full disclosure and breakdown of where she's coming up with $500 to apply (which she tells me is non-refundable, regardless of whether or not my son is approved, and requests me to pay half of this)? And then serve her afterwards? Do I still continue paying then, after I have served her until this gets resolved?

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            • #7
              If he really wants to go, let him make the application and provide the receipts for the application fees. If he finishes up his credits and gets accepted, this is a very good thing for him and you would be wise to support it.

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              • #8
                Before you do anything you should perhaps do some reading on Sheridan College. I went online and I believe registration for first time student is $515.00. If your son is taking testing (perhaps entering as a mature student) he also might be taking equivalency testing.

                https://www.sheridancollege.ca/admis...ges.aspx#Prior Learning Assessment and Recognition

                I'd strongly recommend that you read through the college information.

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by blinkandimgone View Post
                  If he really wants to go, let him make the application and provide the receipts for the application fees. If he finishes up his credits and gets accepted, this is a very good thing for him and you would be wise to support it.
                  I have no problem at all, supporting his choice to go to college if that really is his choice and what he wants to do. However, to clear up some misunderstanding, I have serious reservations about whether or not he's serious about going to college based on what I saw in his transcripts. During the 2015/2016 school year, he's only attained 1.5 credits. The majority of his marks throughout his high school years are beyond atrocious to put it nicely. And the courses in high school are all general level, not academic level. I don't want to imagine what his attendance has been like (or lack thereof). If this is any indication of his performance and achievement in high school, I am hard pressed to believe that he is going to have much hope in college. Based on the information above, what else is one to think/do?

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                  • #10
                    If he is motivated he can upgrade his academics while attending college. Colleges often set it up this way (revenue stream for them). Colleges don't like to turn down money/students as undergraduates pay the salaries of staff. This is common across the country.

                    College will determine if he would be a "fit" for their programmes.

                    Your son very well might surprise you. Often kids do much better in the 'adult' education venue as opposed to high school. College can open up his eyes to careers that he might not have considered before.

                    I think it is a good move...a brave step for your son. He could even live at the college which might be something to consider as well.

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                    • #11
                      As I mentioned in my message, shes still being obtuse and I wouldnt be so quick to hand over anything. Why? Well if the testing and other fees are $500 why didnt she say that? All she said was the application is $500 so please add the money to the December cs amount. Also because she finally started giving you info when you cut off cs.

                      I dont trust anyone who says they cant get a receipt. EVER. You never pay for anything without getting proof. Your ex has obviously been investigating this program and has been told by the school what has to happen. She can ask them for full documentation. This isnt 1920 where you have to go down the street to make a call. She can get the info emailed to her or the kids school counselor can get it. If we could find application fees and other info on the website SO CAN SHE.

                      Tell her you want the full details of this application fee including details on the program he is applying for and expected outcomes. Failing that you will remit your share when the application is completed and she has a receipt for you.

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by arabian View Post
                        Your son very well might surprise you. Often kids do much better in the 'adult' education venue as opposed to high school. College can open up his eyes to careers that he might not have considered before.
                        From what I've always understood, he's hated school from a very young age, all the way up to and including high school. If he were really motivated, his mother (the one he's living with), should've pushed him much harder to achieve the kind of grades he should've been getting from the beginning, and instilling some good values along with a good work ethic. Sadly, being on ODSP herself all these years, she hasn't exactly been the most ideal role model. Not to mention the fact that I was excluded from his life at a young age (his choice not mine), so obviously I had no say or interaction with him in any way that could have helped provide some useful guidance to him. Yes, I agree that college is a much more relaxed learning atmosphere in comparison to high school. Students are usually on first name basis with their instructors and the instruction given in classes is definitely not like it is in high school where it's adult to child, but more or less friend to friend. Having been through college myself, I completely understand to dynamics. I am still very much open to helping my son out through the process if he chooses to go through, but he is definitely going to have to show me he is serious about his commitment if it is in fact what he wants to do. Telling me he wants to do this, or do that and then just quit about a month or two through the process and I'm stuck paying for his support isn't going to cut it for me.

                        Originally posted by arabian View Post
                        I think it is a good move...a brave step for your son. He could even live at the college which might be something to consider as well.
                        Actually.......he lives literally a ten minute walk away (2 to 5 minutes by bus) from the college.

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by rockscan View Post
                          As I mentioned in my message, shes still being obtuse and I wouldnt be so quick to hand over anything. Why? Well if the testing and other fees are $500 why didnt she say that? All she said was the application is $500 so please add the money to the December cs amount. Also because she finally started giving you info when you cut off cs.
                          I haven't cut off CS.....yet.

                          Originally posted by rockscan View Post
                          I dont trust anyone who says they cant get a receipt. EVER. You never pay for anything without getting proof. Your ex has obviously been investigating this program and has been told by the school what has to happen. She can ask them for full documentation. This isnt 1920 where you have to go down the street to make a call. She can get the info emailed to her or the kids school counselor can get it. If we could find application fees and other info on the website SO CAN SHE.
                          No S***. I felt like I was pulling stubborn teeth out, with my persistence on requesting my son's updated transcripts and other information last month. She doesn't work, and he's not going to school full time (or even part time???) so there's all the time in the world to retrieve this information that takes all of ten minutes if even that. The sense I'm getting is that she's becoming irritated at my increasingly frequent questioning of things regarding our son's schooling. Perhaps there's something to hide????

                          Originally posted by rockscan View Post
                          Tell her you want the full details of this application fee including details on the program he is applying for and expected outcomes. Failing that you will remit your share when the application is completed and she has a receipt for you.
                          THAT is definitely forthcoming. Whether or not that is going to be by email or verbally in person is what I'm a little undecided about at this point. A big part of it, is dependent upon her reaction to being served. I have this awful feeling I am going to be perceived as "the jerk" who only wants to cut off our son's "life support".

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                          • #14
                            Send it in writing. Always in writing!!

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                            • #15
                              One thing that strikes me as odd is that you haven't had a conversation with your son to find out, from him, what his future plans are. He is an adult now and perhaps it is time to have an adult conversation with him. I'd ask him why he is registering in December and not at the start of the academic year? I would wan to know if he has met with an academic adviser from the college he is proposing he attend? What are his long-term career plans? What sort of part-time employment is he prepared to take up throughout year? If your son has little idea of why he is going to college then you will have your answer. I'd try to have this conversation asap in a neutral location free from distraction. You are much more likely to get honest answers if your son feels comfortable.

                              Comment

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