Confused and don't know what to do

[BarbaraS]

Me and my husband have been having problems for a while. It always seemed we would work things out. Very recently though he has told me he wants a divorce. We have been married for 4 years and have a 2 year old daughter. He basically told me he didn't love me anymore and had to move on. When I asked him why he said he had to be him, whatever that means, and that on top of that, he said I would never see a penny.

we don't have a house as we share an apartment. I haven't worked since I had my daughter and I am not sure what to do. I never made a lot of money before but I am very concerned and when he tells me I won't get a penny I believe him. What is best for me to do?

[logicalvelocity]

Barb,

Sorry to hear about your circumstance.

I am not sure of your jurisdiction, but if you are located in Ontario, I suspect that you would be entitled to spousal support and also child support for the child. This is pretty much consistent across all jurisdictions. It appears that you are a stay at home mom and have primarily look after your child. I wouldn't let the threats get to you as he would find out in a short time opposite of what he thinks and the legal obligations that he has to support yourself and your child.

[lammie]

Barbara be strong! Remember your child always comes first and don't let your spouse try and bully you. You need to do what you can to take care of your child and yourself.

[logicalvelocity]

Barb,

Since there is a child involved, you have to remember is that the law is always on the side of the child. This is to your benefit as its apparent that you are the primary caregiver.

If you find yourself stuck in a financial way, society has protective social measures in place while you pursue your x for child support and spousal support.

[BarbaraS]

I do live in Ontario. My husband keeps telling me he is going to not give me anything and now he is talking about getting our daughter. Before he said he wanted to be free and alone. I think he is just trying to be mean.

I need to get working but I don't know what to do with my daughter in the meantime. I am afraid that the money will dry up any minute now.

[BarbaraS]

Lammie - I try to not let him bully me but this whole thing came out of the blue. I did not see it coming. I feel blindsided and don't really understand what is happening. I am in a bit of shock. I will always do everything best for my daughter.

[Hanging On]

My husband has bullied me too

I can't believe some people think they can get out of child support and alimony. My husband is doing a similar thing (he thinks he can decide how much child support to give me and says no alimony because I work). On top of that, he wants all of his deposit on the house back before we split the rest. He has not moved out even though he says he doesn't love me (I still loved him and tried everything to work things out) because he says a lawyer friends of his says it is "abandonnement" and is could affect his equity stake in the property. So he sleeps in the basement. Our two young boys have accepted this. We don't argue in front of them. It is a very weird situation.....

[Grace]

It must be difficult to be separated yet live under the same roof.

[lpstong]

Men say " I don't love you", "Oh it's me not you", "I just gotta be me", say these things because of their guilt regardless if the marriage still fails. Move on and stop fearing. It is a scare tactic for his guilt. You will be compensated because of your children.

[lammie]

I agree with IPStrong. Be strong. Some people/men just like to use tried and true tactics to manipulate people because they can. Don't allow yourself to be manipulated. Take control of your situation.