My SC Brief shortened while the ex SC brief is MASSIVE

[OntarioDaddyMan]

Ok so,

Just got Ex SC Brief and it grew from 14 pages to 19 pages and also added 6 more Tabs of fun.

Mine on the other hand shortened with a few less Tabs ( cuz I took peeps advice from here and stop slinging mud stuck to facts).

what I am truly concerned with is that even after the OCL recommendation, the ex offer to settle is even worse then the previous one. Now the ex is adding stuff like

"He and She shall have Joint custody, but She gets to make any final decisions authority after consulting with he."

Is the ex nuts? what is the ex position? What does the ex gain from this?

The OCL recommendations are very opposite from the ex offer to settle. The Ex is slinging mud as usual and is using the Brief as if it were trial. To top it off, anything the ex is trying to use is from 3-4 yrs ago as if it happened yesterday. Im a little concerned that the ex is poisoning the well in hopes that the Judge will put negative pressure on me to settle with her offer even though the OCL recommended otherwise.

P.S after much googling, our SC judge used to be a lawyer for OCL.

Any advice ? Words of Wisdom?

Thank you

[arabian]

I have no experience with child custody matters but I do have experience with an ex who submitted ridiculous affidavits.

They [crazy ex's] do it to themselves - give them enough rope and they will surely hang themselves with it each and every time.

Your position sounds wonderful. I do so love the long, rambling affidavits (as does my lawyer). You only respond to the points you want to and which are valid. You might consider inserting a disclaimer "I make this affidavit in opposition to the affidavit of CRAZY MOTHER sworn, DATE. Where I refer to paragraph numbers, I refer to the paragraph numbers in the affidavit, except where I expressly state otherwise. My silence on any given issue ought not to be considered agreement, as I have already refuted items in this affidavit in several previous affidavits [if you have]. I deny the truth of any statement in CRAZY MOTHER's affidavit.

This sort of statement has served me well in the past. My ex's affidavit's are so totally off-the-wall. When collaborating with my lawyer I normally send him my 'knee-jerk' reaction to the statements. My lawyer then merely puts my remarks in the garbage can and we formulate a non-emotional, factual response to the points which are worth responding to.

Anyhow, this is what has worked for me the past.

[OntarioDaddyMan]

Arabian- I have already submitted my SC and my SC is in a few days. How do I put this disclaimer in? Do I give the ex a copy?

I simply want to dispose all allegations against me in court in front of the judge. Citing that the ex is going on strictly emotions and not keeping the childs best interest at the for front.

[arabian]

I don't know the answer to that, again, I have no experience with child custody matters nor the court process in your province.

I would think it is incumbent upon your ex to PROVE her allegations. Judge's aren't stupid and are likely quite adept at separating fact from fiction. Focussing on your ex's allegations is not the right thing to do - not a good strategy. You are correct on focussing on best interests in child.

I have also noted in cases that I've read on CanLii that judges make comments on ability for parents to co-parent and on definitive plans for resolution of disagreements.

In short, judge don't give a shit about you or your ex, rather the children and the overall feasibility of your parenting plans and ability to resolve problems.

Again, I emphasize I have no experience in child custody matters.

[arabian]

FYI - my ex recently submitted an 83 page affidavit (including some exhibits which we found to be handy LOL). My responding affidavit was 3 pages plus some exhibits.

I have been successful each and every time we have gone to court simply because ex does not have any validity and cannot show a material change of circumstances. He can submit 300 pages for all I care (although I have to say it is annoying having to replace toner cartridges).

F A C T S

B E S T I N T E R E S T OF T H E C H I L D


If you have focussed on that then you have done all that you can do at this point.

I understand that these 'case conferences' exist so that parties can come to an agreement - find a common ground. I'd suggest that you gather every ounce of self confidence you have and start the process with the intent of doing the right thing for the child with an open mind for compromise (which you have expressed in most of your posts).

Now go to a movie and chill.

[OntarioDaddyMan]

Arabian- My concern is that the ex continuously states that there is no Material change in Circumstances. I have stated my position on this several times.

My position is that there was an OCL investigation done. Its in my favour. Her new offer to settle is worse then the previous 3 that she submitted. She is slinging mud and I fear that the judge might just believe my ex. The same judge failed to review exhibits correctly for a motion and accused me of being unreasonable over an email that transpired 5 yrs ago and was justified. the judge apologized.

So who knows what is gonna happen next week.

[arabian]

My ex has claimed a material change of circumstances each and every time but he has been unable to substantiate it therefore each and every motion was dismissed. (I was divorced in 2010 and my ex has taken me to court at least 2 x each year).

If I were you I'd just try to come across as the the most reasonable and mature party.

I could have 'out-slung' the mud 10 times over with my ex but fortunately I had competent legal counsel. It is very annoying to be continually accused of crap. To give you but a taste of my experience - my son is currently in early 30s. Just a few years ago one of my ex's affidavits referred to my poor parenting abilities, specifically how I failed to 'toilet train' my son. Yeah, this is the level of mentality I have had to deal with. Son and I joke about this now but at the time I was absolutely floored by this. Of course my lawyer loved it because it just went to substantiate the ridiculousness, and desperation, of ex's allegations. By the way, we were in court for disputed SS - not custody of a 30 yr old LOL.

You'll look back at this some day and laugh at it. Hard to believe right now I know.

[OntarioDaddyMan]

What's the deal with Ghost writing? Her lawyer is not on record but still writes her briefs and such . Doesn't make any sense.

Also, I m more impressed with the grammatical errors I'm the brief. Not too professional no?


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[Janibel]

=OntarioDaddyMan;169380
Is the ex nuts? what is the ex position? What does the ex gain from this?

What she gains from this? is very obvious --- she's rattling your nerves and attempting to unsettle you so that you will mess up. But you know better than that and will arrive in court cool, calm, collected (prepared with brief and to-the-point arguments that even the dumbest judge in Ontario cannot refute. Now go make yourself a 'sammich' and try to relax

[OntarioDaddyMan]

You guys are all amazing. Thank you. Truly . Thank you.


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[OrleansLawyer]

My position is that there was an OCL investigation done.

Sounds like a good start to what you will say to the judge at the conference.

"We had an OCL investigation. The results are XXX. I agree with XXX, because an independent investigator who specializes in custody evaluations took the time to look into the matter. I trust in their professional opinion. I also agree with it because of YYY and ZZZ."

"My ex raises the following concerns, AAA and BBB. However, they are not relevant because of CCC / are incorrect, what happened was DDD. I note that she still seeks a joint parenting regime, despite her concerns. I don't want to throw mud at her, because that will be unhelpful both in reaching a settlement today and in repairing our coparenting relationship for the years to come."

[OntarioDaddyMan]

Sounds like a good start to what you will say to the judge at the conference.

"We had an OCL investigation. The results are XXX. I agree with XXX, because an independent investigator who specializes in custody evaluations took the time to look into the matter. I trust in their professional opinion. I also agree with it because of YYY and ZZZ."

"My ex raises the following concerns, AAA and BBB. However, they are not relevant because of CCC / are incorrect, what happened was DDD. I note that she still seeks a joint parenting regime, despite her concerns. I don't want to throw mud at her, because that will be unhelpful both in reaching a settlement today and in repairing our coparenting relationship for the years to come."

What if I don't agree with everything in the report?

For example: The report recommendations state Joint Custody but Primary residency with ex. the ex ha used being the Primary to trump me every time I either disagree or add my opinion. ( The assessor recommended to keep it this as this was the practise)