Do you ever find when talking to others about separation and divorce you have to bite your tongue?
I have done a lot of research and read a lot of articles and know enough about certain subjects so when someone asks me about this or that, I can at least provide them with the knowledge I have...but I have found lately that I really have to bite my tongue when talking to some people.
I have a co-worker who I love... he is a great worker and a great friend... but even that, I find it hard to support him at some times. Short version of his story... he was married to a woman over 20 years ago, they had one child together and she had a child from a previous relationship, but he acted like her father... a few years into their relationship this women took off and left him with the two girls, she was gone for over 2 years... one day she showed up at the children's school and pick them up after school and left with the children... Dad had NO idea what was going on until the school told him Mom had picked the children up. Dad went to the police and they would not help him. He filed an emergency motion in court, but the court ruled in Mom's favour, she got full custody and he was stuck with EOW...
Now his step daughter was married just over 2 years ago... they have a 4 year old son, but separated a year ago... since the separation they have had 50-50 access... the son is doing well, both parents are in other relationships. Well his step daughter had just finished school and has decided she wanted to move to her father's area. She truly feels she can up and leave and there will be no implications. She is wanting to move 4 hours away from their current city, where the son is shared 50-50. My friend actually said to me one day, that he told his daughter she could do whatever she wants because Mom's always get their way and she could up and leave ANY time. At that time I told him that it wasn't exactly like that anymore and I know that happened to him 20 years ago, but things have begun to change... he went into a rant about how Dad's never get custody unless Mom doesn't want it and yada yada yada...
I just bit my tongue and didn't say anything else, as I did not want to argue with him over this... obviously he has strong emotions towards this topic and its understandable, but what do others do when faced with situations like this? Obviously it is not my place to step in and try to educate, but it does make me a little upset, as it is people like this that flood the courts with unnecessary issues...
I have done a lot of research and read a lot of articles and know enough about certain subjects so when someone asks me about this or that, I can at least provide them with the knowledge I have...but I have found lately that I really have to bite my tongue when talking to some people.
I have a co-worker who I love... he is a great worker and a great friend... but even that, I find it hard to support him at some times. Short version of his story... he was married to a woman over 20 years ago, they had one child together and she had a child from a previous relationship, but he acted like her father... a few years into their relationship this women took off and left him with the two girls, she was gone for over 2 years... one day she showed up at the children's school and pick them up after school and left with the children... Dad had NO idea what was going on until the school told him Mom had picked the children up. Dad went to the police and they would not help him. He filed an emergency motion in court, but the court ruled in Mom's favour, she got full custody and he was stuck with EOW...
Now his step daughter was married just over 2 years ago... they have a 4 year old son, but separated a year ago... since the separation they have had 50-50 access... the son is doing well, both parents are in other relationships. Well his step daughter had just finished school and has decided she wanted to move to her father's area. She truly feels she can up and leave and there will be no implications. She is wanting to move 4 hours away from their current city, where the son is shared 50-50. My friend actually said to me one day, that he told his daughter she could do whatever she wants because Mom's always get their way and she could up and leave ANY time. At that time I told him that it wasn't exactly like that anymore and I know that happened to him 20 years ago, but things have begun to change... he went into a rant about how Dad's never get custody unless Mom doesn't want it and yada yada yada...
I just bit my tongue and didn't say anything else, as I did not want to argue with him over this... obviously he has strong emotions towards this topic and its understandable, but what do others do when faced with situations like this? Obviously it is not my place to step in and try to educate, but it does make me a little upset, as it is people like this that flood the courts with unnecessary issues...
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