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School Me On FRO

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  • School Me On FRO

    Okay folks. Well, my motion to terminate CS is turning out to be an absolute disaster so far. My first case conference on January 18th couldn't have gone more wrong if I tried. I will be posting another thread on the intimate details of that one later though. Long story short, the ex-bitch decided to put me through FRO which is fine. I now no longer have to deal with that poor excuse for a human on matters of CS anymore which is good for me. Anyhoo, I received in the mail some paperwork to fill out, which I haven't yet, along with my PIN a couple days prior to that. The outcome of that appearance resulted in my CS going up from $610 to $738. No biggie, whatever. Fast forward to this last week, here is the email exchange that took place between the ex and myself.

    Originally posted by Ex-bitch on February 13th
    Hello M******,

    I received a package from Family responsability and there is a payor information for that yo need to fill out. I was wondering if they contacted you or if I need to come to have your part filled by you. *If it ils thle case, please let me know l when I can drop of the form and when you can arranged its delivery afterwards.*
    Also, since the FRO office will obviously not be ready for this month or the next depending on if they have all the needed informations. *I want confirmation in writing that you will foward the child support on time through the bank until everything is settle with their office as per the Court order. Thank you.

    Regards,
    K*****
    I didn't respond to that email. What I've been trying to do though, is to contact someone live by phone that can set everything in a manner in which it only becomes like another bill which I pay online through my online banking. On the 17th, I tried to contact my case worker by navigating on the main phone line, and left a detailed voicemail message for him to get back to me to set this up. The money was already in my account at the time, ready and waiting to be taken by them by whatever method I am instructed to pay them. Well, the 18th arrived on this Saturday, and this is the email I received in the morning once again from the bitch:

    Originally posted by Ex-bitch on February 18th
    M******,
    This is to notify you that once again the money that was ordered by court is not in my account this month. *Until FRO obtain the informations that is needed the ownous is on you to send the amount of $738.00 into my account every 18th as per the court order. I wrote emails that you did not even take the time to respond to, in order to let you know that I needed some informations from you, as well as to let you know that because of the lack of informations FRO had to be put on hold until then, therefore it is on you to still foward the money to my account as it is a breach of the Judge order. You are gravely inconviniencing us as I am unable to feed your own child. This will be the last email I send you since, you obviously seems to pick and choose the one to respond to.
    Your request of a report card will be forwarded to you via mail as soon as we obtain one ourselves as I already mentioned in a previous message.
    *
    Regards,
    K*****
    And this was my prompt response to that nonsense email at around noon on the same day:
    Originally posted by Myself putting the bitch in her place on February 18th
    K*****,

    Let me start by saying that the papers YOU have to fill up for FRO is*YOUR responsibility, not mine
    My responsibility is to*fill up the papers FRO sends to me.

    I am NOT breaching the court order as you stated. The papers I received from FRO in February clearly states :
    " The law states that you must not make any support payments directly to the recipient or the child. If you do your account will be inaccurate, which may result in enforcement actions taken against you."

    Therefore, I will NOT breach the law and the rules of FRO. It is now the responsibility of FRO to retrieve the money from my account and deposit it into yours.
    As you've tried to*imply in court that you had issues*receiving Child Support directly from me, *going through FRO was your choice, I cannot be held responsible regarding the amount of time that FRO takes to submit the payments to you.
    Please note: I will NOT be transferring ANY money directly to your account ever again. I will also NOT agree to withdraw from FRO, as I do not want to deal with you making FALSE, frivolous and borderline vexatious*allegations against me ever again.
    THEREFORE; any issues you have regarding child support payments from now on, DO NOT direct it*to me, contact YOUR FRO case worker.


    M******
    So today, while I was at work I must've tried at least four or five times to contact my case worker, leaving detailed messages about three of those times today. In the meantime, the CS money remains in my account that I use exclusively for that purpose.

    So folks, please school me on how the process works with FRO since I have yet to speak to someone live about it. Also, if in the miraculous event the court does find I have overpaid CS, does that mean FRO will automatically take the money from her, and forward it to me through the same channels? Any and all information welcome.

  • #2
    Once you are with FRO, you do not pay your ex directly. Not at all. Never. No matter how much she cries, no matter how much she begs, never ever feed her after... wait, wrong story.

    Same moral though. FRO means you no longer pay her directly. You seemed to be aware of that, so I'm not sure what you are asking.

    I'm not sure why you responded to her at all. You had the right idea. but your message to her sucked. Don't give her more material to use against you in court at a later date.

    I strongly recommend that you do the "24 hour" rule when responding to ex. That is, you write the response, then you wait 24 hours before you actually send it. During that time, you get it read by a trusted friend to make sure that you haven't said anything stupid.

    Comment


    • #3
      you have to ignore any and all emails from your ex.

      The only person you deal with from here on is FRO. Period. End. Finale.

      Do not engage.

      This is why I firmly believe that dealing with maintenance enforcement agencies is the best way to go... you do not have to deal with an irrational ex again.

      Carry on... change/block your email.

      Your employer has a court order. By a specific date the money is transferred from your employer to FRO. FRO then clears the amount and it is deposited into your ex's bank account. If your ex hasn't provided the correct forms to FRO then the money will be held for her until she complies. You have absolutely nothing to worry about now.

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by Janus View Post
        I'm not sure why you responded to her at all. You had the right idea. but your message to her sucked. Don't give her more material to use against you in court at a later date.

        I strongly recommend that you do the "24 hour" rule when responding to ex. That is, you write the response, then you wait 24 hours before you actually send it. During that time, you get it read by a trusted friend to make sure that you haven't said anything stupid.
        Please elaborate. I value all honest opinions respectfully.

        Comment


        • #5
          yes FRO/MEP are slow.. they deal with (in Alberta) over 65000 cases. Your ex will contact FRO and they will tell her the expected payment dates. Yes they screw up. Yes it's a terrible inconvenience. Is it your problem anymore? No. Your ex can go to welfare or foodbank should she need assistance.

          Comment


          • #6
            I thought your message to her was fine. However it was unnecessary as you do not any longer have to deal with her. She will play telephone-tag with her FRO worker (as you are) and be told exactly the same thing you have been told.

            Disengage though.... seriously

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            • #7
              Have you tried going to the bank to pay it like a bill? I cant remember how my partner did it but thats how he pays.

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              • #8
                You said you haven't filled out the paperwork. You can't just leave a voicemail and tell them to take it out of your account. FRO does not take money out of your bank account.

                You can pay direct to FRO through your banking rather than have the $ deducted through your employer.

                The payee name in your banking is FAMILY RESPONSIBILITY OFFICE. Add in your account number that they gave you when they sent your PIN. Just log into your banking and send them the money so they can send it to her. You can make the transaction happen monthly online.

                edit: I didn't read your story until after posting. Did they establish a cutoff date for CS at the case conference?
                Last edited by paris; 02-22-2017, 03:53 PM.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by paris View Post
                  You said you haven't filled out the paperwork. You can't just leave a voicemail and tell them to take it out of your account. FRO does not take money out of your bank account.

                  You can pay direct to FRO through your banking rather than have the $ deducted through your employer.

                  The payee name in your banking is FAMILY RESPONSIBILITY OFFICE. Add in your account number that they gave you when they sent your PIN. Just log into your banking and send them the money so they can send it to her. You can make the transaction happen monthly online.
                  Yes, I was told this today at around noon when I was finally able to get my case worker on the line. I was extremely amazed at nice the at-length conversation I had with him went. As soon as I was off the phone I went directly to my bank to set up the bill payment profile with my seven digit case number (not the PIN I received days before) and paid it.

                  Sheesh. If I had known it was going to be this easy and painless, I wish I had gone through FRO years ago. I wouldn't have had to endure the harassing phone calls from the bitch when she received it one day late.

                  Originally posted by paris View Post
                  edit: I didn't read your story until after posting. Did they establish a cutoff date for CS at the case conference?
                  NOPE. My CS got increased from $610 to $738. I did not adjust the quantum like I usually do every July as I had in the past to reflect the previous year's income. This is because I was questioning whether or not he (my son) is entitled to CS under his present schooling arrangement. My next case conference date is in April. Depending on whether or not I have the funds to scrape up to get a lawyer to attend, I may adjourn it for a later date. But's a topic for another thread.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by m-chan68 View Post
                    Yes, I was told this today at around noon when I was finally able to get my case worker on the line. I was extremely amazed at nice the at-length conversation I had with him went. As soon as I was off the phone I went directly to my bank to set up the bill payment profile with my seven digit case number (not the PIN I received days before) and paid it.

                    Sheesh. If I had known it was going to be this easy and painless, I wish I had gone through FRO years ago. I wouldn't have had to endure the harassing phone calls from the bitch when she received it one day late.


                    NOPE. My CS got increased from $610 to $738. I did not adjust the quantum like I usually do every July as I had in the past to reflect the previous year's income. This is because I was questioning whether or not he (my son) is entitled to CS under his present schooling arrangement. My next case conference date is in April. Depending on whether or not I have the funds to scrape up to get a lawyer to attend, I may adjourn it for a later date. But's a topic for another thread.
                    I've been preaching this for years on this forum. I don't get why people are so freaked out by FRO even if it happens to be deducted off of pay every week or month. A person probably has much more flexibility with FRO than their ex should a interim payment arrangement need to be arranged (due to one of life's surprises).

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      In the beginning my husbands was deducted from his pay. I think it was sent to her bi-weekly. If there was a long weekend he got calls from his ex. FRO was always a day late sending it to her. He made an extra payment to FRO so that it was always 2 weeks ahead, then the payments weren't late to her any more.

                      When his youngest was 8, his ex called to say she hadn't received $ for 2 weeks. FRO had sent a letter to his employer to stop the enforcement because his youngest had turned 18. oops

                      They can and will make mistakes, but they are generally much easier to deal with than your ex.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by arabian View Post
                        I've been preaching this for years on this forum. I don't get why people are so freaked out by FRO even if it happens to be deducted off of pay every week or month. A person probably has much more flexibility with FRO than their ex should a interim payment arrangement need to be arranged (due to one of life's surprises).


                        FRO is good and bad. There are certain drawbacks but if you have a straightforward case and your income doesn't change AND you don't want to deal with your ex, its good.

                        Communicating with them or making any changes is where the pain comes from. If you want to change anything and your ex is difficult, its bad.

                        Its unfortunate that they aren't able to make updates that are listed in the law like when income changes. Or do calculations for section 7.

                        Still, its a shock when you get that package of forms and you are made to feel like a deadbeat because their tagline is "good parents pay" and its plastered over all the documents!

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                        • #13
                          Speaking of which.....Do I still need to fill out those forms and submit them? I've been at my same employer for the last 13 and counting years, and not planning on moving anywhere anytime soon. I already submitted payment yesterday. After all, that's all that really matters isn't it?

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by arabian View Post
                            I thought your message to her was fine.
                            I think that a good way to judge a message is by the BIFF principles often quoted on this forum.

                            Brief: It wasn't that brief, could have been much shorter.
                            Informative: It was slightly informative, though peppered with opinion
                            Friendly: It was not friendly at all
                            Factual: maybe

                            I think that it was a lousy message.

                            Comment

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