New case conference scheduled new year

[lplp]

Lawyer scheduling a case conference new year.
-- my reply was i am trying to avoid court costs as takes away money from my family.


Issues are
Both kids have lived with me since seperation ,daughter in high school and son in college(residence home on weekends)
--ex has not really seen the kids in past except by texts and phone calls ,not one overnight visit .
--ex lives with parents to further her college education for better job
-she worked minum wage during our whole marriage and just before split she decides to go back to college to get a high paying job.
--she has been working part time since split but not saying so .-
-I am retired with pension since 08 and split in end 11 .
- had a judgement against me for spousal in july ,she won (i didnt know about court date)
----motion was to cancel spousal in oct. I won and waiting for fro to give back my money and stop garnishee.
---I have never asked for cs but going to now ,
---------I have scenarios of her working for minum wage during marriage and she knew that we were splitting so she went back to college to get high paying job and even posted on facebook .
--- I would like to impute wage that she should be making due to college education and she is working in field part time in it.
-She would owe me money in the spousal calc.


QUESTIONS -- Is this a long case conference at court ,in front of judge and informal or court situation.-
---Tried to get a mediator but didnt seem to agree and was not nuetral in my mind ,actually complained and tried to set up another but never heard back .
--Can I once see what my lawyer is going to do go to a mediator again and hammer it out instead of at court .
----Not even sure what my lawyer is working on ,and offering or he has not scheduled an appt with me yet to discuss -but i am getting things together of what i want .
-- I have given all of my financial since we split even new bank account statements,i need to see hers -what i have given to her i need to get the same ,that is fair?
Thanks for input in advance ,not sure what to expect on this stuff and trying to save money ,got first lawyer bill last friday and was a whoppppper already,wrong business im in.

[firhill]

If you do an advanced search for "case conference" you will get a ton of info.

[Mess]

QUESTIONS -- Is this a long case conference at court ,in front of judge and informal or court situation.

Personally, and I've been there several times - I am still not fully clear when you get a judge and when you get a DRO. If you are seeking an interim order at the case conference you are going to need a judge.

---Tried to get a mediator but didnt seem to agree and was not nuetral in my mind ,actually complained and tried to set up another but never heard back .

I'm unclear what your question is here. If you feel you cannot compromise with the other party, mediation may be pointless no matter what. Being able to say, "We tried mediation and it failed" can accelerate your court progress somewhat.

--Can I once see what my lawyer is going to do go to a mediator again and hammer it out instead of at court .

You have every right to see "what (your) lawyer is going to do" about any issue. Again, I'm not sure why you want another mediator. Biased or not, if you ex was willing to compromise and reach a settlement, and you were as well, then the mediation should have been effective. If one or both of you don't really wish to compromise, then mediation won't work no matter who your mediator is.

----Not even sure what my lawyer is working on ,and offering or he has not scheduled an appt with me yet to discuss -but i am getting things together of what i want .

You need to take better control over your file. Write down a list of questions, schedule an appointment, or schedule a phone call. Don't just call out of the blue, make an appointment for a call. Carefully stick to your written list of questions and make sure you get an answer to each and don't let the lawyer change the subject.

It sounds like you need to learn assertiveness.

-- I have given all of my financial since we split even new bank account statements,i need to see hers -what i have given to her i need to get the same ,that is fair?

It is not "fair," it is the law. If you have not received financial disclosure, then you absolutely need to have in your case conference brief, a request for an order for full financial disclosure.

Requesting an order for disclosure will also make it clear to the judge which side is playing games.

[Mess]

Some side notes:

Your ex isn't finished college. It is not reasonable to demand they earn a wage according to their college education. It is reasonable to request that they be imputed a wage equal to what they earned "historically." There is strong case law to support this both ways. You have a right to request they are imputed a wage; they have a right to have a wage imputed that is reasonable according to what they have earned in the past.

You seem to be saying that you want mediation because it saves your family money.

If you are at the case conference stage, you have already prepared the body of your court material. There is not a lot of money to be saved IMHO. If you go to mediation you are still paying for the mediator and probably lawyers as well. If mediation hasn't worked in the past, it isn't likely to work in the future. Mediation is not a magic wand that gets you what you want. It is an opportunity to find a compromise. If the parties don't want to compromise, then you need someone else to make a decision.

[lplp]

Thanks ,for replys , not sure what DRO means ,reading your posts and taking big notes ,thanks again,

[Mess]

Dispute Resolution Officer. Some conferences have these instead of a judge, generally a senior lawyer. IMHO they are a complete waste of time. The singlular advantage of having a case conference is for the parties to get a judge's opinion prior to going forward.