First time poster - the info here has been fabulous, I am so glad I found this site!
My wife and I have separated after about 8 years of marriage and thus far (knock on wood) everything has been fairly amicable. The only sticky issue we have is on custody of our son. I am not his biological father, but have been on the scene since he was about 8 months old. We married when he was 2. He is unaware that I am not his biological father and for the time being, we are hoping to keep it that way.
My wife was given full custody of my son before we were married, as the biological father wanted nothing to do with them. Throughout many years of wanting to adopt him as my own, my wife continually stalled the process until finally we separated - the adoption signed off on by the biological father but still left incomplete. We both agree that we would like joint custody of both my son and our daughter (who is biologically mine) with my wife as the custodial parent.
She claims that she has been advised that if we sign a separation agreement or divorce settlement granting me joint custody, this will negate her previous full custody order and open a legal window for the biological father to re-enter the picture and stake a custody claim. Normally this would not be an issue, as he has never had much interest, but since the separation my wife has gone after the bio father for back support (he's never paid a cent), and she fears that he may make a custody move for leverage in the battle over money.
All I want is a separation agreement which protects my rights as my son's father, and I am not willing to accept anything less than joint custody. Are my wife's fears valid? Would granting me joint custody offer any advantage to the biological father or is she simply stalling me on signing a separation agreement? Any and all advice is welcome - I am very much out of my element with this stuff.
My wife and I have separated after about 8 years of marriage and thus far (knock on wood) everything has been fairly amicable. The only sticky issue we have is on custody of our son. I am not his biological father, but have been on the scene since he was about 8 months old. We married when he was 2. He is unaware that I am not his biological father and for the time being, we are hoping to keep it that way.
My wife was given full custody of my son before we were married, as the biological father wanted nothing to do with them. Throughout many years of wanting to adopt him as my own, my wife continually stalled the process until finally we separated - the adoption signed off on by the biological father but still left incomplete. We both agree that we would like joint custody of both my son and our daughter (who is biologically mine) with my wife as the custodial parent.
She claims that she has been advised that if we sign a separation agreement or divorce settlement granting me joint custody, this will negate her previous full custody order and open a legal window for the biological father to re-enter the picture and stake a custody claim. Normally this would not be an issue, as he has never had much interest, but since the separation my wife has gone after the bio father for back support (he's never paid a cent), and she fears that he may make a custody move for leverage in the battle over money.
All I want is a separation agreement which protects my rights as my son's father, and I am not willing to accept anything less than joint custody. Are my wife's fears valid? Would granting me joint custody offer any advantage to the biological father or is she simply stalling me on signing a separation agreement? Any and all advice is welcome - I am very much out of my element with this stuff.
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