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  • child abduction ?

    can the police lay child abduction charges when a parent keeps the child for a long weekend?

    can the police even get involved when the order has no police clause?

    whats the worst that could happen if a access parent keeps the child for the extra day on a long weekend? parent and lawyer already requested access

    weve mentioned the child will be staying if we dont hear from her

    if there is no response before the access starts, is that a safe time to ignore all further messages? I dont check or read messages from other parent when it is my access time .i jjust enjoy the access. nor do i change my long weekend plans to suite other peoples needs
    Last edited by trinton; 02-15-2017, 11:37 PM.

  • #2
    Judges frown upon people who self-help with regards to child custody. In fact people have lost custody for doing this.

    If you disagree with the current custody and access schedule you should go through the court process or suffer the prospect of potentially have all access withdrawn.

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    • #3
      Originally posted by arabian View Post
      Judges frown upon people who self-help with regards to child custody. In fact people have lost custody for doing this.

      If you disagree with the current custody and access schedule you should go through the court process or suffer the prospect of potentially have all access withdrawn.
      we've been back before the court for 3 years now. it's been nothing but a gong show and is on going.

      the final order was on consent when i had no legal advice and is completely unreasonable


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      Last edited by trinton; 02-15-2017, 11:56 PM.

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      • #4
        Originally posted by arabian View Post
        Judges frown upon people who self-help with regards to child custody. In fact people have lost custody for doing this.

        If you disagree with the current custody and access schedule you should go through the court process or suffer the prospect of potentially have all access withdrawn.
        the mother has selfed helped many times on holidays and never lost custody or even come close to it. not even slap on wrist.

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        • #5
          If I recall you didn't have competent legal advice in place when that happened correct?

          Play the high road. Frustrating yes and time-consuming. Look at what LF32 went through. He played the high road (even when I was hoping he wouldn't) and he seems to be very content with his 50/50 arrangement today. Perhaps re-read his threads. Go back to the very start. I think you will find some useful stuff there. He had very limited $$ and a lousy lawyer but in the end he got what he wanted. Persistence and Patience paid off for him.

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          • #6
            Originally posted by arabian View Post
            If I recall you didn't have competent legal advice in place when that happened correct?

            Play the high road. Frustrating yes and time-consuming. Look at what LF32 went through. He played the high road (even when I was hoping he wouldn't) and he seems to be very content with his 50/50 arrangement today. Perhaps re-read his threads. Go back to the very start. I think you will find some useful stuff there. He had very limited $$ and a lousy lawyer but in the end he got what he wanted. Persistence and Patience paid off for him.
            good point. and I have been doing that. But you can only take in so much crap before the point of enough is enough.

            I will have a read through his posts and see what's up.

            Thanks for your help.

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            • #7
              Originally posted by trinton View Post
              can the police lay child abduction charges when a parent keeps the child for a long weekend?

              can the police even get involved when the order has no police clause?


              whats the worst that could happen if a access parent keeps the child for the extra day on a long weekend? parent and lawyer already requested access

              weve mentioned the child will be staying if we dont hear from her

              if there is no response before the access starts, is that a safe time to ignore all further messages? I dont check or read messages from other parent when it is my access time .i jjust enjoy the access. nor do i change my long weekend plans to suite other peoples needs
              No and no. The child has not been abducted - the child is safe with a legal guardian, and the police are not going to put themselves in the position of deciding who should have the child.

              But this is not the time to be pushing limits with long weekends. If you do not have an order saying that you keep the child for an extra day when Monday is a holiday, you should return the child on Monday. Pulling stunts like not returning the child and not communicating with the other parent over the weekend will only hurt you in the end if you're trying to increase your access through legal means.

              The situation is frustrating, but "enough is enough" is not a good enough reason to escalate the tension between you and ex.

              Get a good lawyer, go back to court, get a final order which covers these situations. There will be plenty of long weekends in the future.

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              • #8
                Originally posted by stripes View Post
                not communicating with the other parent over the weekend will only hurt you in the end if you're trying to increase your access through legal means.

                The situation is frustrating, but "enough is enough" is not a good enough reason to escalate the tension between you and ex.

                Get a good lawyer, go back to court, get a final order which covers these situations. There will be plenty of long weekends in the future.
                i have been communicating (couple of times).no responses. i have a lawyer and am before court as well. my lawyer has communicated as well. we are both being ignored.

                we've mentioned our proposal will become agreement if there is no response from her... good enough reason to keep child the extra day?

                errrr


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                • #9
                  Originally posted by trinton View Post
                  i have been communicating (couple of times).no responses. i have a lawyer and am before court as well. my lawyer has communicated as well. we are both being ignored.

                  we've mentioned our proposal will become agreement if there is no response from her... good enough reason to keep child the extra day?

                  errrr


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                  Don't do it Trinton. I agree that you need to take the high road and keep fighting for it through legal means. As frustrating as it may be.


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                  • #10
                    When my husband and his ex first separated she had the kids for Easter weekend. The following year was his weekend with them. Well she told him he could only pick them up if he would bring them back Saturday rather than keep them the whole weekend... even though his regular weekend was Friday to Sunday... she wouldn't let up so he told her sure just to get his kids. When he picked the kids up he sent her an email and stated that because it was his regular weekend he would be keeping the children for the duration of the weekend like she had them last year. She called the cops, the cops called him and he explained the situation and said he would have them back to her at 4pm Monday. The cops stated that was fine and communicated that to mom. Nothing was done to Dad. Mom was being unreasonable by attempting to refuse access to Dad.

                    Cops told Dad that because they didn't have a police enforcement clause in their agreement there really wasn't anything they could do because the children were not in danger.

                    I don't support this action but in your case you have requested and gave notice. The cops most likely won't do anything, especially if you are in court and you are civil with them.


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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Berner_Faith View Post
                      When my husband and his ex first separated she had the kids for Easter weekend. The following year was his weekend with them. Well she told him he could only pick them up if he would bring them back Saturday rather than keep them the whole weekend... even though his regular weekend was Friday to Sunday... she wouldn't let up so he told her sure just to get his kids. When he picked the kids up he sent her an email and stated that because it was his regular weekend he would be keeping the children for the duration of the weekend like she had them last year. She called the cops, the cops called him and he explained the situation and said he would have them back to her at 4pm Monday. The cops stated that was fine and communicated that to mom. Nothing was done to Dad. Mom was being unreasonable by attempting to refuse access to Dad.

                      Cops told Dad that because they didn't have a police enforcement clause in their agreement there really wasn't anything they could do because the children were not in danger.

                      I don't support this action but in your case you have requested and gave notice. The cops most likely won't do anything, especially if you are in court and you are civil with them.


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                      i don't disagree with you but what happens in the case mom decides in middle of weekend I'm not getting the extra time? or offers something ridiculous? what about in the case completely ignores everything and sends message 15 minute after normally expected drop off time and asks where child is? pretending as if tho she never got correspondence from me or lawyer

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by trinton View Post
                        or offers something ridiculous? what about in the case completely ignores everything and sends message 15 minute after normally expected drop off time and asks where is?

                        This situation is pretty much a mirror of what I face on many exchange days. 15 min before i pick them up, i get a text that they are no home. I'm then left waiting for x amount of hours, sometimes the kids tell me they were at the sitters or at home the whole time.

                        I can understand your feelings of 'enough is enough'.

                        My advice is don't get blinded by your ex's possible actions, or all the 'what if's'. The 'what if's' are like a mental poison, they spoil the time you have with your kids. Instead prepare in advance like you are doing and then enjoy the time with your kids.

                        It sounds like you've done your due diligence to notify your ex. Print out the emails, or a copy of legal correspondence etc ahead of time... if police do contact you, you can provide them copies.

                        Don't ignore any communication, it won't help you in court or with the kids. If she asks that you return them do so. Don't drop everything but communicate a reasonable time frame and follow thru. Ie: we are finishing supper and will be on our way in x. (Yes, i have a notepad of pre-written responses).

                        Focus on your long term goals. The time spent with your kids will be better if you focus on them and not the what if's.

                        Your kids remember the quality and not the amount of time you spend with them. A friend of mine reminded me of the following recently. Even thought he was prevented from seeing his dad as a kid, because of how both parents acted he chose to live with his dad in his early teens. And now he has 25+ years of good memories with him compared to ~6 years of limited contact.


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