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  • Cohabitating with a woman and her child?

    Hello,

    I was curious about something. I'm currently finishing up a divorce, but I was wondering about something. I've met a woman who has a son and I've read that if I cohabitate with her for at least six months, I will be responsible for CS should we split up, even though the child is not mine.

    I have significant business assets and I would have a cohabitation agreement drawn up of course, but can I have the CS issue included in the cohabitation agreement? Can I get myself free of CS issues if it's written into the agreement, or will a court overturn it? I have a feeling that since it involves CS and the well-being of a child, any agreement could be easily overturned by the courts.

    Geez, it's hard being a man these days. Why should I be liable for CS of somebody else's kid?! I'm already paying CS for two children (gladly of course because they're mine), but I won't be paying for another man's child, I'll tell you that much. I'll just break it off with my current GF if that's the case.

  • #2
    Doesn't sound like a very strong relationship if you'll leave her and her son just because of that possibility. You should be able to trust her and have a discussion about it.

    From what I've read, paying cs for a "step-child" is usually for long term relationships where there's proof you've acted as a parent.

    6 months probably wouldn't fly in court if she was looking for child support from you.

    Comment


    • #3
      Do a search on this site and google for "In loco parentis".

      It isn't just a time issue, it would have to be proved that you stood in place of an absent parent.

      Some of the proofs that may be looked at (from previous discussions here):
      1) Did the child refer to you as father?
      2) Did you discipline the child?
      3) Did you fulfill traditional parent roles by going to parent teacher conferences, doctor's appointments etc.?
      4)Did you directly financially support the child?

      And you can write anything you want in a prenup, but over the course of time if you establish a different status quo, a prenup can be overturned.

      It is a risk, especially if the biological father is not in the picture. But it should be a manageable risk.

      If your business assets are in an incorporated business, that would further shield you, or at least potentially reduce what you would pay.

      Have you talked to the mother about this?

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by oldblueeyes View Post

        Geez, it's hard being a man these days. Why should I be liable for CS of somebody else's kid?! I'm already paying CS for two children (gladly of course because they're mine), but I won't be paying for another man's child, I'll tell you that much. I'll just break it off with my current GF if that's the case.

        ^^ That sounds like a very good idea. Why are you with her, and thinking about cohabiting, when you obviously don't trust her? Do yourselves both a favour and move on.

        (And it's got nothing to do with being a man. In loco parentis - in the place of a parent - is not a male-specific concept).

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by stripes View Post
          ^^ That sounds like a very good idea. Why are you with her, and thinking about cohabiting, when you obviously don't trust her? Do yourselves both a favour and move on.

          (And it's got nothing to do with being a man. In loco parentis - in the place of a parent - is not a male-specific concept).

          Ha ha, of course it's got everything to do with being a man, as it's a female-biased system. Look, everybody here knows full well that cohabitations/marriages don't last forever anymore. Sure I trust her to some degree now, when she's sweet and the sex is hot, but if once cohabitation starts she gradually becomes less sweet and less sexual, then I'm out.

          I've got assets and I'm protecting them. Period. If you don't like it you don't have to reply. I'll be checking with my lawyer soon anyway, but of course you can't trust lawyers because they're always thinking of future revenues from you! lol

          Seeing as my GF's Filipina maybe I'll just keep visiting her quarterly for a month at a time. It's a hell of a lot warmer there anyway. lol I'm just lucky I have a business where I can practically semi-retire.

          I'm just finalizing a divorce where I gave my Ex my equity in our house (which I paid very little for 15 years ago...ha ha, I don't care what it's worth now) in lieu of spousal support, and of course I don't mind paying child support at all.
          I'm getting off pretty easy if you ask me! I told her that if she was going to go after SS, then I was forcing the sale of the house and getting my half of the equity; since she and the kids love the house and she couldn't buy something that (Victorian) grand with her half, no SS for me!

          I'm just lucky that I live in Nova Scotia where business assets are not part of divorce proceedings, though if she had been willing to lie and say she helped build the business, she could have gotten a portion of its worth.

          I guess I'll just keep romancing in the Philippines. The $2000 airfare is nothing compared to the peace of mind it provides.

          Comment


          • #6
            almost sounds like slug....

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            • #7
              Originally posted by standing on the sidelines View Post
              almost sounds like slug....
              I assume you are referring to another user, perhaps a banned one? I can assure you that I am not that person. Since I may have CS issues in the future, I consider this forum a valuable resource.

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by standing on the sidelines View Post
                almost sounds like slug....
                Great minds think alike .... slughead also enjoyed bragging about his supposed wealth, how he swindled his ex wife out of her fair share and his retirement plans - good luck blue eyes Karma is waiting for you.

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                • #9
                  Pathetic

                  Has to go to a third world country to get laid.

                  If the laws of this country are so biased in favor of women then you're best to move.

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                  • #10
                    While you may think great minds think alike, I am not the slughead you are referring to. Before I had my lawyer draw up our divorce agreement, I had been reading this forum regularly for tips; I never registered and asked questions, but I gained lots of insight from ottawadivorce.com.

                    I am not rich, but I am comfortable and I intend to keep it that way. I swindled by exwife out of nothing; I gave her the option of taking my half of the equity in our home or spousal support and since she has a pretty good job, it was in her best interest to take my half of the house as SS wouldn't have amounted to a hell of a lot anyway. If you want to know the truth I'd be better off forcing the sale of the house and getting my 50%, but the kids love the house and why make things worse by forcing them to move?

                    If I can make money here in Canada and romance abroad in the hot tropics, why the hell not?

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by arabian View Post
                      Pathetic

                      Has to go to a third world country to get laid.

                      If the laws of this country are so biased in favor of women then you're best to move.

                      Trust me, I can get laid very easily here if I wanted to settle for less than what I want, but I won't. What's pathetic about getting what you want?
                      I thought it was the modern woman's motto, "Don't settle for less!"
                      Well, that's my motto too! lol

                      And no, I'm not moving permanently because I have an established business which generates a healthy profit!

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                      • #12
                        If Oink and Slughead had a baby, it would be this OP. He's wealthy, he's got the system all figured out, he got the better of his silly ex, he's a globetrotter, he's up all night to get lucky... Troll, in other words.

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by stripes View Post
                          If Oink and Slughead had a baby, it would be this OP. He's wealthy, he's got the system all figured out, he got the better of his silly ex, he's a globetrotter, he's up all night to get lucky... Troll, in other words.
                          Oh the mental images alone have made my day! HAHAHAHAHA Good one Stripes!

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by stripes View Post
                            If Oink and Slughead had a baby, it would be this OP. He's wealthy, he's got the system all figured out, he got the better of his silly ex, he's a globetrotter, he's up all night to get lucky... Troll, in other words.
                            Not "up all night to get lucky", but that's the weakest track on Random Access Memories if you ask me.

                            I am not a troll. I am almost-divorced and I am gladly paying child support (and more). I am simply looking to protect my future should I cohabitate or marry again. Sheesh.

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                            • #15
                              Oldblueeyes - the ex wife in our situation types out similar rants. I suspect you and her both gain confidence in seeing your text in print and deem it to be true. Because it is written in black and white does NOT mean it's true....if it looks like sh@t, smells like sh@t - it probably IS sh@t.

                              What's the point of bragging about your finances and assets? Especially if you "don't care" about what you gave up to your ex spouse? If you don't care - why are you so focused on it?

                              As for the girlfriend....well if you have as hot a head and big a mouth around her, her family and friends I can guarantee you that she views you as her cash cow and ticket out of the Philippines. Come on....you know this too. but you're too caught up with the physical perks with getting laid again to care. I guarantee you will be trolling this or similar forum for different advice soon.

                              Comment

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