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  • Consent order

    Hi i have been advised to consent to a parenting order.

    I have willingly done so and agreed to the request made from my childrens father which is every other weekend.

    However both my lawyer and I know he will not follow through with his eow request to see the children as he constantly cancels or i dont hear from him for a month or so at a time.

    He (the father) has acused me of parental alienation, now 1 year after our application he has requested this consent form.

    What do I do when he constantly cancels and doesnt comply to his own requests of eow?

    The consent order is interim and does NoT deal withcustody.

  • #2
    just keep documenting it. Not much you can do, you cannot force him to parent.

    Comment


    • #3
      hi thanks i can appreciate the documenting it but after how long do I put up with it and do I take the documented proof of all the cancelling to my lawyer to have the order changed?

      sorry I am not familiar with the process or why he requested it when one day after the order was filed he cancelled.....

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by ringettteplayer View Post
        hi thanks i can appreciate the documenting it but after how long do I put up with it and do I take the documented proof of all the cancelling to my lawyer to have the order changed?

        sorry I am not familiar with the process or why he requested it when one day after the order was filed he cancelled.....
        I did the same thing exactly. Made an agreement, offset support, access, etc, etc, etc. with exactly the same concerns.

        It took my ex about two weeks to completely stop all access altogether. Two years later, he's left the country.

        Document him not showing. Keep him informed of schedule changes that would otherwise need to be known. That's all you can do.

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by ringettteplayer View Post
          hi thanks i can appreciate the documenting it but after how long do I put up with it and do I take the documented proof of all the cancelling to my lawyer to have the order changed?

          sorry I am not familiar with the process or why he requested it when one day after the order was filed he cancelled.....
          You'll have to wait a minimum of 6 months (at least that's what FLIC told me) to bring a Motion to Change. I waited longer than that.....over a year.

          Comment


          • #6
            Sorry if I am dense, I don't see the issue.

            He wants it in writing that he can have access. That is fair and reasonable.

            The fact that he doesn't exercise that access is sad, as your child is deprived of their father. But that doesn't mean that he shouldn't have access should he decide to improve his relationship.

            What is your objective? To change the order to deny him access? That isn't right either.

            My only advise would be to do as other suggest and document his failure to exercise his access, so that if he asks for more, you can show the pattern, and then a reasonable judge would maintain status quo. Document the fact that you have done everything reasonable to be flexible with access, in case he wants to bring up parental alienation again.

            Comment


            • #7
              Once a kid is seeing a father every other weekend, he's just an uncle/clown.

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by DowntroddenDad View Post
                Sorry if I am dense, I don't see the issue.

                He wants it in writing that he can have access. That is fair and reasonable.

                The fact that he doesn't exercise that access is sad, as your child is deprived of their father. But that doesn't mean that he shouldn't have access should he decide to improve his relationship.

                What is your objective? To change the order to deny him access? That isn't right either.

                My only advise would be to do as other suggest and document his failure to exercise his access, so that if he asks for more, you can show the pattern, and then a reasonable judge would maintain status quo. Document the fact that you have done everything reasonable to be flexible with access, in case he wants to bring up parental alienation again.
                I don't think denying access was in the post.

                The agreements should reflect the reality though should they not?

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by Links17 View Post
                  Once a kid is seeing a father every other weekend, he's just an uncle/clown.
                  And if the father doesn't show up....he's a spermdonor clown. That's all some men want to be.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by MS Mom View Post
                    I don't think denying access was in the post.

                    The agreements should reflect the reality though should they not?
                    The reality is that even if he signed away his rights to see the child, to reflect reality, if he miraculously became a good guy and petitioned to see the child every other weekend, then he would get it.

                    So why rock the boat.

                    There are lots of things in agreements that aren unenforceable. Sometimes it is best to stop worrying and carry on with life.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Hi my concerns are just that its just one more unneccessary difficultly on the children as he will text them that he wants to see them but then emails me that he cant and has to cancel.
                      I would welcome more involvement from him as a dad but the reality is he wont be, i was just concerned as to why he wanted this order as I know its only for his best interest on paper....unfortunately as everything he does is motivated by money or to belittle my parenting.....

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by ringettteplayer View Post
                        Hi my concerns are just that its just one more unneccessary difficultly on the children as he will text them that he wants to see them but then emails me that he cant and has to cancel.
                        I would welcome more involvement from him as a dad but the reality is he wont be, i was just concerned as to why he wanted this order as I know its only for his best interest on paper....unfortunately as everything he does is motivated by money or to belittle my parenting.....
                        Having an order can't force him to be a good father, and won't impact at all the fact that he cancels.

                        Refusing to sign one however could be used against you should he decide to press the parental alienation issue. That might be his goal.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by DowntroddenDad View Post
                          The reality is that even if he signed away his rights to see the child, to reflect reality, if he miraculously became a good guy and petitioned to see the child every other weekend, then he would get it.

                          So why rock the boat.

                          There are lots of things in agreements that aren unenforceable. Sometimes it is best to stop worrying and carry on with life.

                          Because - I have the child 100% of the time, yet the agreement provides for offset support because of the generous access.

                          Because the other parent has now left the country, with joint custody and provides zero cooperation.

                          Don't want to rock the boat, then use the access you fight for. Don't leave the kids waiting on the doorstep for you not to show up....and expect to be able to walk in on "your day" a year later and pretend like nothing happened.

                          Perhaps the OP knows she'll be faced with a similar circumstance??

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by MS Mom View Post
                            Because - I have the child 100% of the time, yet the agreement provides for offset support because of the generous access.

                            Because the other parent has now left the country, with joint custody and provides zero cooperation.

                            Don't want to rock the boat, then use the access you fight for. Don't leave the kids waiting on the doorstep for you not to show up....and expect to be able to walk in on "your day" a year later and pretend like nothing happened.

                            Perhaps the OP knows she'll be faced with a similar circumstance??
                            Offset would of course be a reason to change the agreement.

                            But that isn't the case with the OP. That father didn't leave the country. Don't project your situation with the poster's situation.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by DowntroddenDad View Post
                              Offset would of course be a reason to change the agreement.

                              But that isn't the case with the OP. That father didn't leave the country. Don't project your situation with the poster's situation.
                              I'm not projecting - I'm simply stating that there are a multitude of very valid reasons why people would chose to make a motion that have nothing to do with "denying dad" anything.

                              It isn't "rocking the boat" or stopping dad from being able to parent. Stop projecting that as the "goal". It's offensive when it's far from the goal.

                              Comment

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