Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Dazed and Confused!

Collapse
This topic is closed.
X
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Dazed and Confused!

    Hi everyone,

    After reading many of your stories, I think it's time for me to tell you mine. I was with my ex for 6 great years, I am a 35 year old male with a 4 year old daughter. As for every couple, we had our up and downs.

    We use to do everything togheter: Camping, day trips, going to Tremblant, Montreal, quebec city, pubs, restaurants... the GOOD life!

    Then suddenly, she started comming in later from work, texting way too often, ... stange stuff. She asked me to go to cancun (Hu-HO) with a friend of hers from work... I did see the plane ticket and it was with her friend. She called several times from there stating she missed and loved me.

    I found an email that explained the day she came back... THE WORST HAD HAPPENED! She slept with a guy twice over there and she wanted to see him again. 3 weeks later, she needed to go to saskatoon to see him, I had to keep our daughter here... I was heartbroken. I was always faithfull.

    I feel so betrayed. Now the house is for sale ans she just does not seem to care one bit.

    Can someone explain this??????
    Confused!

  • #2
    Whats going on with your daughter?

    Comment


    • #3
      I know this won't make any sense to you, and might seem like a cruel comment, but .... YOU ARE SO LUCKY! I mean, she is making it easy for you to guarantee that you are in your daughter's life. Your daughter is your #1 priority - your wife is a F*ck-up, she just wrote herself out. It must be hard for your daughter though...

      Comment


      • #4
        Everyday is a battle, we will have 50/50 of daughter... I am really finding this hard to accept. I can't believe what I have is all gone...

        Comment


        • #5
          Similar story after eleven years of marriage and three children, though it was our neigbour she was in love with. It hurts. The sense of betrayal and lack of understanding by others was intense. I survived it with help from others. Shared parenting worked pretty well for a long time. Stay strong.

          Comment


          • #6
            Why?

            I mean we had a great life!!! how on earth am I gonna trust anyone again?

            Can't wait until this pain goes away. How long did it take for you guys?

            Comment


            • #7
              13 year marriage - it took me about 4 months to feel really good again after separation, after 6 months I started dating. We did struggle off and on living together for over a year before actual separation which was a rough time, so that helped prepare me.

              Now 4 years later, I still wish it had not happened, yet at the same time, I have no interest in a relationship with her, its over and I am happy.

              I still don't understand why this was better for her from her point of view. It was a great marriage in my mind.
              Last edited by billm; 05-18-2011, 11:45 AM.

              Comment


              • #8
                But Bill, I am a 35 year old guy with 50% custody of a 4 year old... Where will I ever find that special someone?

                Comment


                • #9
                  They are out there!

                  I found mine when my child was less than 1yr - but I only have 35-65 (EOW and Weds overnights), not 50-50. I was almost 50 at the time.

                  There's a good chance you will meet someone with their own young kid(s) and their own ex (how would YOU feel about that?) Gets very complicated!!

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by confusedguy View Post
                    But Bill, I am a 35 year old guy with 50% custody of a 4 year old... Where will I ever find that special someone?
                    On line of course!

                    I am 44, 3 kids 50% of the time, and I have no problems.

                    Also, initially the concept of merging families/kids/lives seemed impossible, but after dating some women with kids, I can see that that will not be a problem, in fact it is a good thing - more the merrier!

                    You have most of your adult life ahead of you - you can still find the love of your life, or at least have fun trying!

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      I hope I can ... I guess time will heal the wound. Where is that fast forward button?

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        First post

                        Dazed and Confused, I'm in the same boat as you. It`s been about 4 months since I was blindsided. After 12 years of marriage, she decided to hook up with my child`s coach who is many years younger than her. I still have a hard time understanding, but it is what it is.

                        The bottom line for me is, I can do better and I deserve better. That`s what I think you should go with. I'm still very angry for what she did to me and my children. The lying, deception after all those years of my loyalty. I will never believe her or trust her again. But, I know that their will be someone out there for me and for you to. I still think of her all the time. It`s hard because I'm thinking of the person she was and not the person she has become.

                        The best advice I received was "start dating when you have the desire to and not because you feel a void"

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          There are so many negative factors running around my life right now that dating seems impossible to me too. I still feel strangely loyal to my ex, even though that person turned out to be fictional. But just because I was lied to and betrayed doesn't mean I should discard my own vows, you know? I sometimes hope I'll feel differently once the divorce goes through, but mostly it seems doubtful.

                          Then there's my age, having primary custody of two small children, an ex I can't completely excise from my life because of them, not to mention an inability to trust; and I come with a lot of baggage! I was married so long I don't even know how to date. I haven't dated since before the internet and cell phones were invented (yikes!). How does one go out there looking for someone compatible, when that's basically someone like my ex, only honest and faithful?

                          I'm glad to hear that someday I'll know, but in the meantime, I'm just aging and not getting out much.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Well, fortunately this day and age there are many online dating sites such as but not limited to: e-harmony, lavalife, plenty of fish etc. However, watch out for the scammers, gold diggers and fake pics in your quest to move forward. Do your homework!

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Rioe View Post
                              Then there's my age, having primary custody of two small children, an ex I can't completely excise from my life because of them, not to mention an inability to trust; and I come with a lot of baggage! I was married so long I don't even know how to date. I haven't dated since before the internet and cell phones were invented (yikes!).
                              You start by realizing that there are umpteen million guys out there feeling exactly the way you do. If women like you can't get out and date, what hope is there for guys like me?
                              How does one go out there looking for someone compatible, when that's basically someone like my ex, only honest and faithful?
                              Don't look for someone "like my ex, only...".

                              Comment

                              Our Divorce Forums
                              Forums dedicated to helping people all across Canada get through the separation and divorce process, with discussions about legal issues, parenting issues, financial issues and more.
                              Working...
                              X