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  • other parent lost their job

    if the other parent has lost their job, what effects can this have to a case?

    Apart from them not being able to retain counsel any further, I would assume that income would still be imputed based on their latest income, and that there would be no legitimate need for daycare during their job search efforts.

    I know consistent employment record looks favorably on parents.

  • #2
    Originally posted by trinton View Post
    if the other parent has lost their job, what effects can this have to a case?

    Apart from them not being able to retain counsel any further, I would assume that income would still be imputed based on their latest income, and that there would be no legitimate need for daycare during their job search efforts.

    I know consistent employment record looks favorably on parents.
    I wouldn't say that a jobseeking parent has no need for child care. It's not like you can bring your kids to an interview!

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    • #3
      If a matrimonial property has been sold, and funds are being held pending outcome of litigation, a motion can be made to advance a portion of the entitled sale proceeds so party can continue to have legal representation.

      I believe that sometimes if one "quits" a daycare they lose their spot which could further impair employment. You would have to check with the individual daycare to see what their policy is.

      Is it reasonable to expect someone to schlep their children with them to a job interview?

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      • #4
        A one or two days a week daycare, I would understand, but a 5 days a week all summer long type of daycare, just for 1 or 2 one hour interviews a month, doesn't sound right.

        That especially with \24hour notice daycare's being available, for $5 a day. Job interviews are most always given at least 24 hours notice.

        Arrangements could always be made to allow the access parent to have time while they are going to the interview, and

        if child is in school say 8 - 3:30, the parent could arrange interviews to be in morning or early afternoon.

        why create unnecessary cost and stick a child in daycare all week long just for 1 or 2 hour interviews a month
        Last edited by trinton; 02-11-2017, 02:45 PM.

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        • #5
          Originally posted by trinton View Post
          A one or two days a week daycare, I would understand, but a 5 days a week all summer long type of daycare, just for 1 or 2 one hour interviews a month, doesn't sound right.

          That especially with \24hour notice daycare's being available, for $5 a day. Job interviews are most always given at least 24 hours notice.

          Arrangements could always be made to allow the access parent to have time while they are going to the interview, and

          if child is in school say 8 - 3:30, the parent could arrange interviews to be in morning or early afternoon.

          why create unnecessary cost and stick a child in daycare all week long just for 1 or 2 hour interviews a month
          You keep coming back to this daycare thing. A parent who works full time or intends to work full time has a legitimate need for childcare. If s/he wants to use you as childcare, that's fine, but s/he has no obligation to give you the kid when it's not your parenting time.

          You are not entitled to have the child during the other parent's time.

          Child care is a recognized need for working parents.

          Child care is a S7 expense.

          Drop the fixation on childcare and move on. This is a non-starter.

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          • #6
            Originally posted by stripes View Post
            You keep coming back to this daycare thing. A parent who works full time or intends to work full time has a legitimate need for childcare. If s/he wants to use you as childcare, that's fine, but s/he has no obligation to give you the kid when it's not your parenting time.

            You are not entitled to have the child during the other parent's time.

            Child care is a recognized need for working parents.

            Child care is a S7 expense.

            Drop the fixation on childcare and move on. This is a non-starter.
            and what about in the case of subsidized daycare where the parent is expected to pay for the time they take the child out?

            why should this expense be created when the other parent is available and expanded access is in dispute?

            I'm fine with daycare it being a once or twice a week thing, $5 visit, during the other parents time. but being asked to pay a crazy amount for when child is not there, sanctioning the amount of holiday access per year, that's the problem. Child is required to be in care majority of summer. unreasonable and not in best interest of child. it is totally a parents best interests thing.

            I'm completely against subsidized daycare. it creates more problems for families than it resolves.

            there are other daycare options available. many.

            when the other parent is available for before and after school care, daycare is not extraordinary.




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            Last edited by trinton; 02-11-2017, 08:05 PM.

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            • #7
              My son LOVED daycare and begged to be taken there (probably because he was an only child). The daycare had planned outings, interesting activities and a whole bunch of other kids to play with. My son was in an exceptional day care which still exists today and I understand they have quite a waiting list (friend was trying to get their grand-child into it).

              Perhaps you are a bit too focused on how your ex spends her days? Micromanaging her life will get you nowhere fast.

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by arabian View Post
                My son LOVED daycare and begged to be taken there (probably because he was an only child). The daycare had planned outings, interesting activities and a whole bunch of other kids to play with. My son was in an exceptional day care which still exists today and I understand they have quite a waiting list (friend was trying to get their grand-child into it).

                Perhaps you are a bit too focused on how your ex spends her days? Micromanaging her life will get you nowhere fast.
                my child hates daycare. is tossed on a couch in front of tv all summer when he/she should be with me (and wants to be with me)

                im focused on how my child spends her days. not my ex.


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                • #9
                  Originally posted by trinton View Post
                  and what about in the case of subsidized daycare where the parent is expected to pay for the time they take the child out?

                  why should this expense be created when the other parent is available and access is in dispute?

                  I'm fine with daycare it being a once or twice a week thing, $5 visit, during the other parents time. but being asked to pay a crazy amount for when child is not there, sanctioning the amount of holiday access per year, that's the problem. Child is required to be in care majority of summer.

                  I'm completely against subsidized daycare. it creates more problems for families than it resolves.

                  there are other daycare options available. many.




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                  Day cares are businesses.

                  It is reasonable that a business plans/forecasts staff costs.
                  Hopefully the daycare your children go to are staffed by qualified, dedicated individuals.

                  Subsidized day cares help single people and couples who live below the poverty line get on their feet.

                  Why should a child, who is unlucky to be born into a dysfunction family (going through litigation) miss out on a special time to play with some friends?

                  You get what you pay for. I would much prefer my child to go to a centre which has little staff turnover. A 5.00/day drop in centre cannot possibly hire the same quality of staff as a properly-staffed and funded care centre IMO.

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                  • #10
                    Unless your child is being neglected or abused, Mom's time is her time to arrange as she sees fit. Your time is your time. Mom can't come in and start telling you what to feed Kid or what time he should go to bed when he's with you, and you can't tell her that she has to use you as a babysitter.

                    The sooner you get past this, the sooner you can move on. You aren't going to win this one.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by arabian View Post
                      Day cares are businesses.

                      It is reasonable that a business plans/forecasts staff costs.
                      Hopefully the daycare your children go to are staffed by qualified, dedicated individuals.

                      Subsidized day cares help single people and couples who live below the poverty line get on their feet.

                      Why should a child, who is unlucky to be born into a dysfunction family (going through litigation) miss out on a special time to play with some friends?

                      You get what you pay for. I would much prefer my child to go to a centre which has little staff turnover. A 5.00/day drop in centre cannot possibly hire the same quality of staff as a properly-staffed and funded care centre IMO.
                      the daycare is far from quality. its not a centre daycare. it is a home daycare. it is licensed but it is awful and the daycare person is awfully rude.

                      child has tons of time to play with kids at school. a child doesn't need to go to daycare to play with friends. its a low quality home daycare provider.

                      the 5 dollar a day daycare centre is extremely high quality. the staff are nice and pleasant and the place is very clean and well staffed. 5 is only for before or after school. the rate is higher for full day. but still less than the subsidized scam jobs. there are tons and tons of high quality low cost day care.

                      why should a child be placed with stranger when the other parent is available? child would much rather with a parent then a stranger.


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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by stripes View Post
                        Unless your child is being neglected or abused, Mom's time is her time to arrange as she sees fit. Your time is your time. Mom can't come in and start telling you what to feed Kid or what time he should go to bed when he's with you, and you can't tell her that she has to use you as a babysitter.

                        The sooner you get past this, the sooner you can move on. You aren't going to win this one.
                        i am required to come in contact with daycare and the relationship between daycare and I is detoriated. the child senses the tensions at exchanges and this is not healthy for the child. i suppose this is why daycare should never stick their nose into custody disputes.

                        i have been completely disparaged and yelled at for no good reason by the daycare in front of the child. it's really bad. the daycare provider is crazy.

                        the issue with subsidized daycare is not just when the child is there, but the fact that the maximum contact principle cant be established without sacrifice the current daycare.

                        my access time shouldn't be dictated or sanctioned by some home daycare program that was unilaterally decided on by the other parent.

                        there are tons of better daycare providers available. the child hates the daycare and is forced to attend because of the other parents needs. nothing to do with the children needs.

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                        • #13
                          I stand corrected. I thought your child was going to a proper day care. The 5.00/day thing would be what was referred to (years ago when my son was young) as "after school care" which generally was run by parents and in a location close to the school. My experience was that the after school care program was excellent and gave my son the option to go there as opposed to being exposed to playground bullies while waiting for me to pick him up after school... he used to tell me to not come right away because he enjoyed it.

                          Sounds as though the "daycare" you are referring to is simply your ex opting to pay a friend or relative to look after the kid(s)... a kind of paid babysitting.

                          I don't think you can do much about anything if the "babysitting" occurs during your ex's parenting time though. Perhaps you could offer some alternatives such as a sport or artistic pursuit instead? Of course this will cost money but would get your kids out of the dreadful situation you describe.

                          BTW - "daycare" that I was describing my son attended was before he went to grade 1... he attended kindergarten at the same daycare.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by trinton View Post
                            the daycare is far from quality. its not a centre daycare. it is a home daycare. it is licensed but it is awful and the daycare person is awfully rude.

                            child has tons of time to play with kids at school. a child doesn't need to go to daycare to play with friends. its a low quality home daycare provider.

                            the 5 dollar a day daycare centre is extremely high quality. the staff are nice and pleasant and the place is very clean and well staffed. 5 is only for before or after school. the rate is higher for full day. but still less than the subsidized scam jobs. there are tons and tons of high quality low cost day care.

                            why should a child be placed with stranger when the other parent is available? child would much rather with a parent then a stranger.


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                            I believe that what happens on your parenting time is your business and what happens on hers is up to her to decide.
                            My ex just went on vacation and made sure to book up his family members to take care of the kids on a few occasions when I would've been completely free. I didn't even comment on this to him because what's the point? It just creates more drama.
                            If she wants to send the kid to daycare when you are available, so be it - she can do this. It sucks for you understandably but unless you get your access time increased (which you are trying to do) you don't have a leg to stand on. Would you bring your child over to her if you needed babysitting on your time? From the way you describe your contentious relationship with her, I would doubt this. Too many problems are created when the lines of access are blurred. You need to focus on increasing your access time and drop the daycare issue. I understand your need to vent about it, but unless you can prove there is abuse or negligence occurring there I don't think you can do anything about it.


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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Ange71727 View Post
                              I believe that what happens on your parenting time is your business and what happens on hers is up to her to decide.
                              My ex just went on vacation and made sure to book up his family members to take care of the kids on a few occasions when I would've been completely free. I didn't even comment on this to him because what's the point? It just creates more drama.
                              If she wants to send the kid to daycare when you are available, so be it - she can do this. It sucks for you understandably but unless you get your access time increased (which you are trying to do) you don't have a leg to stand on. Would you bring your child over to her if you needed babysitting on your time? From the way you describe your contentious relationship with her, I would doubt this. Too many problems are created when the lines of access are blurred. You need to focus on increasing your access time and drop the daycare issue. I understand your need to vent about it, but unless you can prove there is abuse or negligence occurring there I don't think you can do anything about it.


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                              that's exactly it though the subsidized restrictions is interfering with my access getting increased. the child wants more time with me and the mom just sticks her in daycare with someone of bad character and uses that to deny me additional time

                              i dont think a lot of the posters are familiar with subsidized daycare. it's not regular daycare. they have restrictions on how many days the child can be away per year and its very limited. if that gets surpassed then the daycare gets cancelled.

                              if i was in the other side and they wanted more access than every other weekend, I would only choose daycare over them if I was alienating them.

                              parents come first, then grandparents, and then strangers, not the other way around

                              the child expresses her desire to be with me over daycare and I'll continue to reinforce that for the child to make her own decisions and live her life, as opposed to being told how to live by her mom and babysitters . she should get what she really wants and not what others want for her. she has her own voice.

                              regardless, subsidized daycare will be canceled if she hasn't found a new job within 12 weeks. based on what I've read



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                              Last edited by trinton; 02-12-2017, 01:16 PM.

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