So since STBX and had our first civil conversation in months, I decided to offer having a 4 way conference well in advance of our case conference. Usual deal, she wants sole custody, the house, under-stating value of her financials, etc.
I expressed that it would only be worthwhile if both parties understand that the kids love both of us and in their best interests to have as much contact with both of us. Else, feel abandonment, their fault, etc.
1. Her premise is the kids need a stable home and 2 - 2- 5 they won't know where their home is and that I would get every other weekend but liberal access on weeknights. This isn't very realistic to think that I can work and run my own household but come every night to have in-house visits with my kids until they go to bed.
I can't seem to get it thru to her that 2 - 2 - 5 is more normal and kids tend to adapt quickly.
So question - if in negotiation I lower then 50% someone on the forum had mentioned that no less then 40% is the important mark? Can someone elaborate or confirm. Also as long as your at least 40% then I believe it's still considered shared custody and CS is more nominal income offset - is this the case?
2. How do I get anything agreed upon at 4 way conference legally formalized? Just want to make sure that they don't back down afterwards - we're probably a ways away from a formal separation agreement. So can we form and sign agreements just on the things we agree to?
3. Any general thoughts on how to handle the 4 way conference - just send a simple letter invitation to meet or include agenda items in order of importance i.e. CS and access, sale of home / content division, NMP, etc.
4. She is very angry, hostile - any thoughts on how to deal with someone like this in negotiation?
Thank you all in advance.
I expressed that it would only be worthwhile if both parties understand that the kids love both of us and in their best interests to have as much contact with both of us. Else, feel abandonment, their fault, etc.
1. Her premise is the kids need a stable home and 2 - 2- 5 they won't know where their home is and that I would get every other weekend but liberal access on weeknights. This isn't very realistic to think that I can work and run my own household but come every night to have in-house visits with my kids until they go to bed.
I can't seem to get it thru to her that 2 - 2 - 5 is more normal and kids tend to adapt quickly.
So question - if in negotiation I lower then 50% someone on the forum had mentioned that no less then 40% is the important mark? Can someone elaborate or confirm. Also as long as your at least 40% then I believe it's still considered shared custody and CS is more nominal income offset - is this the case?
2. How do I get anything agreed upon at 4 way conference legally formalized? Just want to make sure that they don't back down afterwards - we're probably a ways away from a formal separation agreement. So can we form and sign agreements just on the things we agree to?
3. Any general thoughts on how to handle the 4 way conference - just send a simple letter invitation to meet or include agenda items in order of importance i.e. CS and access, sale of home / content division, NMP, etc.
4. She is very angry, hostile - any thoughts on how to deal with someone like this in negotiation?
Thank you all in advance.
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