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She keeps swiping marital property when I am not there

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  • #16
    Originally posted by Mess View Post
    Of course you may change the lock. The other party may call a locksmith and/or break in, but you are not breaking any laws by changing the locks. So why change the locks? Because 9 times out of 10, even a hostile ex will get the message and stay away. However I would not recommend changing the locks until AFTER the ex has a permanent residence and they have had opportunity to claim their personal possessions in full.

    One thing I would especially recomment is installing dead bolts on the doors to secure the home while you are inside.



    Here is the thing about locks:
    • If the title is in one name, then the property belongs to that person; the value must be split, but the other person has no right to the title.
    • The other person may have a right to continued residence after separation as per the Family Law Act; this will have to be settled by arguing for exclusive possession. This part of the law is to prevent someone from being thrown out on the street, or in consideration of child custody. It is not intended to give a non-owner long-term possession or access.
    • If the title is in both names, then both are co-owners.
    • If the other party has just moved out and is couch-surfing with relatives, then they are still a resident of the house.
    • If they have a new address, signed a lease, etc, then the house is no longer their residence, even though they may be part owner.
    • If the other person is no longer a resident, then the current resident has a right to privacy and security of their possessions while not at home, and certainly complete privacy evenings and while sleeping.
    • If an ex started entering the property at will, this would not be immediately addressed by the police because they try not to get in the middle of family law issues, but it would be immediate grounds for exclusive possession and/or a restraining order.
    • A judge will certainly protect the right of a person to eat dinner, come out of the shower, sleep, etc. without being confronted by an ex-spouse entering without warning.
    • If the ex is still joint owner, they have a right to enter at a reasonable time, with reasonable notice. They don't have a right to come and go as they please, but you will need to see a judge to get this enforced.

    The first thing you should do if you have one is change the code on the alarm system. As well, for < $50 or so you can get security cameras that will monitor by internet, or alert you with a motion detector and take photos. These can be great if you are half-expecting the other party to come when you are away and empty the house.

    For the OP, the ex may possibly have access to the house, but the relatives have no business entering on their own and if they have taken anything that is your personal property, it is theft. The police may not wish to lay charges in a family law case, but you can swear out a complaint with a justice of the peace. I would also strongly consider small claims court, as this can easily be done by self-rep. Just make sure you have some factual evidence.

    For personal possessions, photograph them and if they have any value, especially give a list to your insurance company. This will help give you factual evidence if your ex takes them.
    A most excellent post. I suggest it go sticky.

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    • #17
      So is it trespassing if any members of her family enter the home without my consent ?
      Last edited by plainNamedDad44; 10-20-2013, 12:46 PM. Reason: grammar edit

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      • #18
        Originally posted by plainNamedDad44 View Post
        So is it trespassing if any members of her family enter the home without my consent ?
        hmm but they would have her consent probably

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        • #19
          Originally posted by standing on the sidelines View Post
          hmm but they would have her consent probably
          Just got off phone with OPP. If her family or friends show up without her present it sounds line grounds to lay trespassing charges.
          Last edited by plainNamedDad44; 10-20-2013, 02:01 PM. Reason: grammar

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          • #20
            Originally posted by plainNamedDad44 View Post
            Just got off phone with OPP. If her family or friends show up without her present it sounds line grounds to lay trespassing charges.
            I was about to say that, but excellent that you got it from the OPP.

            Comment


            • #21
              I was not on the title of our matrimonial home. I moved out leaving everything but some personal belongings. I did take pictures of everything I took and everything that was left behind. Later when arrangements were made for me to return and get items the house was virtually empty as ex had moved in with a gf and taken everything. I took pictures of the house and contents at that time because it was all in very rough shape. I took a few items in my car. Ex got hostile that I did not take away the trash. I showed my lawyer all these pictures and he did not nothing. I left my marriage with personal belongings, that is it, and the law did not help.

              Comment


              • #22
                Originally posted by smileandwalkaway View Post
                I was not on the title of our matrimonial home. I moved out leaving everything but some personal belongings. I did take pictures of everything I took and everything that was left behind. Later when arrangements were made for me to return and get items the house was virtually empty as ex had moved in with a gf and taken everything. I took pictures of the house and contents at that time because it was all in very rough shape. I took a few items in my car. Ex got hostile that I did not take away the trash. I showed my lawyer all these pictures and he did not nothing. I left my marriage with personal belongings, that is it, and the law did not help.
                Sorry to hear.

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                • #23
                  Thanks. Just add this one example to the list of examples where the system has failed... Kinda gives you a feeling if why I hold little faith in systems. The theory is good but reality does not necessarily match-up.

                  But seriously, it's no big deal in the big picture of life. It is just "stuff".

                  Comment


                  • #24
                    Originally posted by plainNamedDad44 View Post
                    Report him to LSUC. LSUC has now confirmed they are proceeding with investigating my jackass lawyer, who I also had assessed and managed to cut his bill in half
                    We are no longer with this lawyer. So don't want to bother. You can't have two or three wars or else it will consume you completely. We discharged him after one month. He screwed up thing after thing after thing. So one month was more than enough and so no much to report to LSUC.

                    Comment


                    • #25
                      I am now contemplating a motion for an iterim order requiring her to provide advance notice of her entry of the marital home as well as the purpose of her entry. This motion would be based on her previous behavior of coming into the home and removing items.

                      Is this reasonable ? Is her previous behavior sufficient grounds to seek such an order ? Would a judge baulk at this ?

                      As usual, thanks.
                      Last edited by plainNamedDad44; 10-23-2013, 11:22 AM. Reason: grammar

                      Comment


                      • #26
                        You base your motion this way:

                        You are seeking an order for exclusive possession of the home;

                        You are seeking a restraining order limiting the other party to supervised access of the home if legitmate reasons are provided, during regular business hours with 24 hours notice;

                        You have been living exclusively in the home for xxx months;

                        The other party moved out of the home on (date);

                        The other party has had a permanent residence at (address) since (date);

                        The other party retrieved their personal possessions on (date) and to your knowledge there are no other personal possessions belong to the other party on the premises; (NOTE: if there are, pack these in boxes and store them in a secure location on the premises, such as in the garage; this would mean the other party no longer has legitmate reason to search the house.)

                        If such possessions were on the premises you would be happy to provide access at a preassigned date and time;

                        The other party has been accessing the premises on random dates and times, record attached;

                        You feel that the other party is repeatedly accessing the property for no legitimate reason, and is acting out of reasons of hostility and harassment; (NOTE: Your "feelings" of harrassment are a legitimate, legal reason for a restraining order)

                        You are entitled to privacy and security of your belongings the same as any other tenant, homeowner, or resident of a property;

                        You have concerns that the other party may invade your home after hours or when you are sleeping, or may seek access without warning at any time;

                        You therefore feel unsafe in your own home; (NOTE: This is a legitimate statement of fact, and an important part of your application.)

                        You are willing to allow the other party reasonable access for legitmate reasons with 24 hours notice, during regular business hours (or other times you prefer.) (NOTE: I would suggest you require the presence of a reliable 3rd party at these times, such as a trusted neighbour. The neighbour could be provided with a key. This of course requires the agreement of the neighbour. Include this if possible in your motion application.)

                        Comment


                        • #27
                          Originally posted by Mess View Post
                          You base your motion this way:

                          You are seeking an order for exclusive possession of the home;

                          You are seeking a restraining order limiting the other party to supervised access of the home if legitmate reasons are provided, during regular business hours with 24 hours notice;

                          You have been living exclusively in the home for xxx months;

                          The other party moved out of the home on (date);

                          The other party has had a permanent residence at (address) since (date);

                          The other party retrieved their personal possessions on (date) and to your knowledge there are no other personal possessions belong to the other party on the premises; (NOTE: if there are, pack these in boxes and store them in a secure location on the premises, such as in the garage; this would mean the other party no longer has legitmate reason to search the house.)

                          If such possessions were on the premises you would be happy to provide access at a preassigned date and time;

                          The other party has been accessing the premises on random dates and times, record attached;

                          You feel that the other party is repeatedly accessing the property for no legitimate reason, and is acting out of reasons of hostility and harassment; (NOTE: Your "feelings" of harrassment are a legitimate, legal reason for a restraining order)

                          You are entitled to privacy and security of your belongings the same as any other tenant, homeowner, or resident of a property;

                          You have concerns that the other party may invade your home after hours or when you are sleeping, or may seek access without warning at any time;

                          You therefore feel unsafe in your own home; (NOTE: This is a legitimate statement of fact, and an important part of your application.)

                          You are willing to allow the other party reasonable access for legitmate reasons with 24 hours notice, during regular business hours (or other times you prefer.) (NOTE: I would suggest you require the presence of a reliable 3rd party at these times, such as a trusted neighbour. The neighbour could be provided with a key. This of course requires the agreement of the neighbour. Include this if possible in your motion application.)
                          Most excellent. Again, thank you.

                          Comment


                          • #28
                            Originally posted by plainNamedDad44 View Post
                            I am now contemplating a motion for an iterim order requiring her to provide advance notice of her entry of the marital home as well as the purpose of her entry. This motion would be based on her previous behavior of coming into the home and removing items.

                            Is this reasonable ? Is her previous behavior sufficient grounds to seek such an order ? Would a judge baulk at this ?

                            As usual, thanks.
                            Does this mean you have decided to not simply change the locks and advise her of the change?
                            Start a discussion, not a fire. Post with kindness.

                            Comment


                            • #29
                              Originally posted by mcdreamy View Post
                              Does this mean you have decided to not simply change the locks and advise her of the change?
                              She is on title, If I change the locks, she can use a locksmith, crowbar, or C4 to get into her own house.

                              The good news is I wrote a letter threatening a motion based on Mess's excellent input and they have now agreed to provide notice prior to entry.

                              They seem much more cooperative after having been trounced on last Fridays motion. I can hear Aretha Franklin in the background... "R - E - S - P - E - C - T"

                              Yes, I am still gloating and will be for sometime.

                              Comment


                              • #30
                                Originally posted by plainNamedDad44 View Post
                                She is on title, If I change the locks, she can use a locksmith, crowbar, or C4 to get into her own house.

                                The good news is I wrote a letter threatening a motion based on Mess's excellent input and they have now agreed to provide notice prior to entry.

                                They seem much more cooperative after having been trounced on last Fridays motion. I can hear Aretha Franklin in the background... "R - E - S - P - E - C - T"

                                Yes, I am still gloating and will be for sometime.
                                lol, gloat away. I would have thought, given she moved out and is now far away, she would have simply respected your change of locks and allowed you your privacy - but, I guess, you can't rely on common sense and some consideration, can you.
                                Start a discussion, not a fire. Post with kindness.

                                Comment

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