It has been almost a year since I made the decision to end the marriage. 11 1/2 months of time, seperation agreement in place, 50/50 custoday, I bought him out of the house.
And I am depressed as all hell, wondering if I made the right decision....is this a normal feeling?
Before seperation, I was living in a nightmare, daily panic attacks, fear of coming home, feared saying anything, unhappy and wanting it all to end. I was told a classic emotional and financially abusive situation and I had to get out for my own good.
Fast forward almost a year. I am without my kids 50% of the time (they are my life), watching the kids spiral downwards in their behavior, schooling (8 year olds allowed to watch rated R movies at Dad's, homework only ever done at my house and I could go on to write a novel....the kids are in dire straits - one more tearful phone call to me while at the ex's house, I am going to lose it). I am in financial dire straits trying pay the bills while having now to pay an offset child support cause he wont work full time. Lost contact with most of our "mutual friends". No family within 500 km for support. Continually being bad mouthed by the ex in front of the world and the kids because he is bitter....
Lonely, scared for my kids, can't see a light at the end of the tunnel. Wondering if I did the right thing....
And I am depressed as all hell, wondering if I made the right decision....is this a normal feeling?
Before seperation, I was living in a nightmare, daily panic attacks, fear of coming home, feared saying anything, unhappy and wanting it all to end. I was told a classic emotional and financially abusive situation and I had to get out for my own good.
Fast forward almost a year. I am without my kids 50% of the time (they are my life), watching the kids spiral downwards in their behavior, schooling (8 year olds allowed to watch rated R movies at Dad's, homework only ever done at my house and I could go on to write a novel....the kids are in dire straits - one more tearful phone call to me while at the ex's house, I am going to lose it). I am in financial dire straits trying pay the bills while having now to pay an offset child support cause he wont work full time. Lost contact with most of our "mutual friends". No family within 500 km for support. Continually being bad mouthed by the ex in front of the world and the kids because he is bitter....
Lonely, scared for my kids, can't see a light at the end of the tunnel. Wondering if I did the right thing....
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