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  • do you think he abandoned them

    in 9 months my 3 children have seen their dad for 5 days, back in July.,
    he does not ask to see them nor does he fly to see them.,
    my 5 y/o son scored his first hockey goal. i feel sad for them as i know they ask why doesn;t their dad stop working so he can see them., meanwhile he just up and left and started a different life.,
    if i call or text him he threatens me with the cops.
    i do believe he has abandoned them., by the court i don't know but it kinda looks that way.

  • #2
    Originally posted by ringettteplayer View Post
    in 9 months my 3 children have seen their dad for 5 days, back in July.,
    he does not ask to see them nor does he fly to see them.,
    my 5 y/o son scored his first hockey goal. i feel sad for them as i know they ask why doesn;t their dad stop working so he can see them., meanwhile he just up and left and started a different life.,
    if i call or text him he threatens me with the cops.
    i do believe he has abandoned them., by the court i don't know but it kinda looks that way.
    Why do you ask?

    I'm just not sure what you are looking for.

    Comment


    • #3
      i already know have the answer right?? i wasn;t really asking anything i guess i was just sad and venting and looking for a tiny beckon of hope that that wasnt true....

      Comment


      • #4
        seems to me like he did

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        • #5


          thanks i guess i already knew.... i just see differently when i put the reality glasses on

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by ringettteplayer View Post
            i already know have the answer right?? i wasn;t really asking anything i guess i was just sad and venting and looking for a tiny beckon of hope that that wasnt true....
            Based on your version of the story it would seem that way.

            I'm not saying his version is different but we do only have 1 side of a story.

            Comment


            • #7
              true

              true.

              however, he will say the same thing as he bought a house in another province and never returned.
              he says its cause he can;t get time off work, or he cant afford to see them.
              he doesn't pay child support, his reason he doesn;t see them.....
              he doesn;t pay spousal, his reason he doesnt need too....

              that's the story, that's all i have i don't even have his address, i have his work cell#

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by ringettteplayer View Post
                true.

                however, he will say the same thing as he bought a house in another province and never returned.
                he says its cause he can;t get time off work, or he cant afford to see them.
                he doesn't pay child support, his reason he doesn;t see them.....
                he doesn;t pay spousal, his reason he doesnt need too....

                that's the story, that's all i have i don't even have his address, i have his work cell#
                I have read your previous posts and followed whats going on.

                It seems to be a pretty sad situation for your children.

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                • #9
                  i feel like it is a very unfortunate situation for them for sure., its very difficult trying to make sense of it to the children

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by ringettteplayer View Post
                    in 9 months my 3 children have seen their dad for 5 days, back in July.,
                    he does not ask to see them nor does he fly to see them.,
                    my 5 y/o son scored his first hockey goal. i feel sad for them as i know they ask why doesn;t their dad stop working so he can see them., meanwhile he just up and left and started a different life.,
                    Out of all this the only relevant matter is that the other parent is not exercising access to the children. So long as you don't put conditions on your children's access to the other parent then you don't have anything to worry about. But, if there is a stream of emails where you are demonstrating "control" over the matter you should be ok.

                    It is disappointing that the opportunity for equal and shared residency sounds like a possibility in what you are stating and that joint custody wouldn't be an issue for you as a parent. Disappointing that the other parent hasn't realized this and jumped on the opportunity.

                    Originally posted by ringettteplayer View Post
                    if i call or text him he threatens me with the cops.
                    Document the situation and keep it as evidence. Just leave it open that should the other parent want equal access and joint custody there isn't an issue for you.

                    Originally posted by ringettteplayer View Post
                    i do believe he has abandoned them., by the court i don't know but it kinda looks that way.
                    Abandonment isn't really a great word to put around what you are sharing. Matters are complex and people often do not act in the most appropriate ways after separation. Don't let the past months define your children's future relationship with their parent. Keep the door open and keep hoping.

                    Good Luck!
                    Tayken

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      it is unfortunate and no I have never ever denied him access or denied him from visiting.

                      can i save text messages? will they be used in court? as i have a tonne to prove that i offered him the house to stay in and i would leave so he could visit and save $$ to see the kids rather than a hotel etc.,

                      its funny everyone on here tells me to document but my lawyer has never said to do that at all she has never told me to document or do anything!

                      i do believe we will be going straight to divorce no seperation aggreement

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by ringettteplayer View Post
                        it is unfortunate and no I have never ever denied him access or denied him from visiting.

                        can i save text messages? will they be used in court? as i have a tonne to prove that i offered him the house to stay in and i would leave so he could visit and save $$ to see the kids rather than a hotel etc.,

                        its funny everyone on here tells me to document but my lawyer has never said to do that at all she has never told me to document or do anything!

                        i do believe we will be going straight to divorce no seperation aggreement
                        SMS messages don't hold much weight in court. It is hard to prove they were ever sent and someone can have them easily duped and put on a phone through call redirection. For 40$ you can get a calling card that can mock telephone numbers for SMS messages and calls. Telcos don't track the data (messages) being sent so you can't prove originating source.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          He doesn't want to see you. He doesn't want to see the kids. He doesn't want to talk to you. He doesn't want to talk to the kids.

                          Yes it's over. You cannot force him to see the children or to talk to them.

                          You'd best be moving on with your life without him. Hard to accept but you need to move on without him.

                          Sorry for you but I think you were unrealistic in thinking if you moved closer to him that he would have a relationship with the children.

                          Wish you well and hope you can move on now.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            in Quebec text's are very much taken into account. i saved over 200 texts between me and my ex over 1 year span while we were fighting over custody and used them against her in court.the texts were not the winning factor in my case but they sure did help. as long as the texts had her number the time and date on them i could use them.
                            in the end i won full custody.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by afraid View Post
                              in Quebec text's are very much taken into account. i saved over 200 texts between me and my ex over 1 year span while we were fighting over custody and used them against her in court.the texts were not the winning factor in my case but they sure did help. as long as the texts had her number the time and date on them i could use them.
                              in the end i won full custody.
                              If there are 200 on the balance of probabilities it is the person in question. If the other party contested the content of the messages and raised the issue you would have been stuck on voir dire with the "evidence".

                              You can't be criminally charged on the content of an SMS message for example. The strict balance of beyond reasonable doubt to the content is the challenge.

                              The reason your SMS messages folded into the evidence is that on the balance of probabilities the 200 messages were probably (on the balance) from the person in question.

                              My recommendation is to not use SMS and to move to BBM/OFW and/or another communication method that guarantees the identity of the sender and the receiver of the communications.

                              No doubt if you had 200 SMS messages you had email and other evidence in support. So as a set of evidence the balance of probability even gets higher that they are from the originator.

                              Good Luck!
                              Tayken

                              Comment

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