Travel without permission

[danzuchy]

Our parenting plan (made into a court order) has specific limitations on travel. Ie. if you leave the country you need the permission of the other parent.

My spouse has taken the child in and out of the country a few times (don't ask how she got across the boarder- I don't know- I suspect a forged consent form). What can I do about this?

[Pursuinghappiness]

Are you talking about trips across the US border?

If so, they generally don't ask for consent forms from parents...although it would be prudent to have one in the rare instance they do.

I can tell you in that in over 20 years of travelling with my own children often across the border, I've never been asked.

Why do you want to do anything about this? If she's taking short trips to the US for shopping, etc...is that a big deal to you?

[danzuchy]

Are you talking about trips across the US border?

If so, they generally don't ask for consent forms from parents...although it would be prudent to have one in the rare instance they do.

I can tell you in that in over 20 years of travelling with my own children often across the border, I've never been asked.

Why do you want to do anything about this? If she's taking short trips to the US for shopping, etc...is that a big deal to you?

It's a breach of contract. If they weren't willing to abide by one why even have it? Today this, tomorrow something else and there are kidnapping concerns. That's why the OCL put those clauses in there

[Pursuinghappiness]

I suppose it may be particular to your case...however, my ex and I travel constantly across the border for day trips etc. I do a lot of shopping over there and my new partner lives there.

I guess you have to decide whether its a big enough deal to make an issue of.

[danzuchy]

I suppose it may be particular to your case...however, my ex and I travel constantly across the border for day trips etc. I do a lot of shopping over there and my new partner lives there.

I guess you have to decide whether its a big enough deal to make an issue of.

Thanks but I wasn't asking about your situation. I was asking about mine but thanks for hijacking the thread. Maybe you can tell us about your dinner tonight.

[Pursuinghappiness]

Thanks but I wasn't asking about your situation. I was asking about mine but thanks for hijacking the thread. Maybe you can tell us about your dinner tonight.

Sigh...

My point obviously was that a lot of people make day trips across the border....sooooo are you really afraid of abduction or are you trying to make an issue out of something that isn't?

Only you can answer that question...if its a big enough deal to go to court over..then go.

Bottom line, the border probably won't ask her for any consent slip.

[HammerDad]

Do you have proof of such border crossings aside from hearsay?

If you have proof, you may have enough ammo to file for contempt. However, know that if these trips were for shopping etc or would likely be deemed in the childs best interests, your ex would likely get a mild slap on the wrist with a wet noodle and asked not to do it again.

Further, unless you have legitimate fear that the children could/would be abducted, you don't have much argument of why they shouldn't cross outside that they did contrary to the order.

I assume your ex and the kids have the same last name? If so, it makes it easy for them to cross. They don't question much when the names are the same.

You could send your ex an email advising her that you know there have been border crossings without your consent. Remind her of the clause prohibiting such and that both parents should always been informed of such crossings and their previous consent obtained. That you are not adverse to her making such crossings, and will be reasonable in providing your consent.

[singledad99]

They don't normally ask mothers to provide the consent whether to US or other international destinations. This is because mothers never abduct the children, only fathers do.[sarcasm]

Obviously, the clause was inserted in the agreement for a reason. Whether or not the OP has any fears of abductions the agreement should be adhered to all the times. Otherwise, why waste all the time in doing agreements and court orders and why even provide access or pay support etc. if no one is going to respect them.

I would suggest you send her a formal warning and if she continues to breach the agreement bring the matter to the court. I think if you let Canadian Border Services know that there is a mobility restriction on the children involved they can flag the passport numbers accordingly. (not sure about this though)

[Pursuinghappiness]

Actually, they generally ask neither the mothers or fathers for consent forms.

You can attempt to call border patrol...you have a chance of getting a hold of someone who might help you if you have ID numbers...but more than likely, they won't do much....they get these requests often and deal with real Amber alert issues...but you can certainly try.

Again, bringing this issue to court is an option if you have evidence of the trips that were taken. However, what is the intent here. If she's making day trips for shopping etc (and a lot of people are, due to the dollar rate)...is bringing a motion worth it?

[mcdreamy]

How old are the children?


and pursuing - what is for dinner tonight? I'm stumped.

[danzuchy]

Do you have proof of such border crossings aside from hearsay?

If you have proof, you may have enough ammo to file for contempt. However, know that if these trips were for shopping etc or would likely be deemed in the childs best interests, your ex would likely get a mild slap on the wrist with a wet noodle and asked not to do it again.

Further, unless you have legitimate fear that the children could/would be abducted, you don't have much argument of why they shouldn't cross outside that they did contrary to the order.

I assume your ex and the kids have the same last name? If so, it makes it easy for them to cross. They don't question much when the names are the same.

You could send your ex an email advising her that you know there have been border crossings without your consent. Remind her of the clause prohibiting such and that both parents should always been informed of such crossings and their previous consent obtained. That you are not adverse to her making such crossings, and will be reasonable in providing your consent.

I can get proof easily. I figure the courts won't go lightly as our case is a high profile one. The last Judge we went in front of made it clear that we better both adhere to any court orders to the "t" or they will come down hard on us. I figure I will do as you advised- warn them once and then take it to court. The issue is the family is volatile (in the USA) and has a FBI "record". This is why OCL doesn't want the child in the USA as they are US residents. I don't like the fact that an order is made and the ignore on the back of a few corrupt coppers.

[TiredOfTheDrama]

I can get proof easily. I figure the courts won't go lightly as our case is a high profile one. The last Judge we went in front of made it clear that we better both adhere to any court orders to the "t" or they will come down hard on us. I figure I will do as you advised- warn them once and then take it to court. The issue is the family is volatile (in the USA) and has a FBI "record". This is why OCL doesn't want the child in the USA as they are US residents. I don't like the fact that an order is made and the ignore on the back of a few corrupt coppers.

I initially thought you were making a big deal out of cross border shopping as well. The internet is so hard because you don't want to give too much information & you know the history of your own life so well you gloss over a lot of the details. I think I'd probably discuss the situation with the lawyer that already represented you and knows the history. They would be in the best position to tell you what you should be doing.

Good luck!

[murphyslaw]

Didn't you ask about this 2years ago?You said your ex was going to forge your name on a passport and abduct them.Apparently she was banging a cop and so (according to you) that she was untouchable?

[Motorhead168]

My GF and I called border services twice and both times were told that if she has sole custody (which she does) and can prove this then she doesn't need written permission from asshole (aka her sons dad). And, what a surprise, we weren't even asked about this when we flew to FL.
There is so much misleading info on this board from people who think they know everything that it boggles the imagination.

[firhill]

My GF and I called border services twice and both times were told that if she has sole custody (which she does) and can prove this then she doesn't need written permission from asshole (aka her sons dad). And, what a surprise, we weren't even asked about this when we flew to FL.
There is so much misleading info on this board from people who think they know everything that it boggles the imagination.

I don't know much of anything but one thing I do know is I wouldn't let my ex's current boyfriend/husband consume my life.