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  • PTSD and Costs for Treatment

    This is really difficult for me to post. After decades of emotional, psychological and verbal abuse, and a very severe episode of physical abuse decades ago from my STBX, I finally realize that I'm suffering from symptoms of PTSD, and must seek treatment. It is ruining my life, even though I have been fighting to regain a normal life again.

    Just a simple question, and one I plan to ask my lawyer when he returns from his vacation: Is it likely I could recover costs from the treatment? It might cost a lot, maybe $10,000. or more. My STBX would be well able to afford the costs, even if it were many times more.

    Please, I don 't want anyone to judge me. I'm asking a simple question and need help, like anyone else here.

  • #2
    Hope you are successful on your road to recovery. No judgment here.

    Many people negotiate extended dental or, as in your case, medical treatment. If you have documentation about your medical condition I don't see why you wouldn't be able to have it considered in your divorce/SS decision.

    The fact that your medical condition is likely attributable to your stbx wouldn't necessarily have to be part of your submission. In fact I would specifically not submit it that way. Just a letter from the physician that is currently treating you would suffice.

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    • #3
      I'm wondering though if treatment started after the date of separation would be considered for recovering costs. I know I started having symptoms of the PTSD well before I separated.

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      • #4
        I am thinking that before it would even be considered you would need a diagnosis from a doctor, not self diagnosed. Maybe even a treatment plan.

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        • #5
          Originally posted by standing on the sidelines View Post
          I am thinking that before it would even be considered you would need a diagnosis from a doctor, not self diagnosed. Maybe even a treatment plan.
          Yes. I had planned to have a consultation, diagnosis and treatment plan before starting a course of action for recovery of costs.

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          • #6
            Originally posted by caranna View Post
            Yes. I had planned to have a consultation, diagnosis and treatment plan before starting a course of action for recovery of costs.
            good idea. The only thing I would be really worried against is if your ex finds someway to put his own spin on it and use it against you.

            I am not sure if you could recovery costs for treatment but I wish you luck.

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            • #7
              When I was discussing spousal support in mediation and then arbitration, I had to submit a budget of my expenses. Although I had one already, my lawyer forwarded to me a spreadsheet he has his clients fill out.

              There was a category for legal fees and one for medical, which included a sub-heading for therapy.

              I would discuss it with your lawyer. If you are currently negotiating spousal support you may need to submit a budget and you can list your cost here, no need to indicate the nature of your treatment.

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              • #8
                PTSD is normally characterized by Anxiety, and for that reason it is classified as an anxiety disorder. Certainly none of us can or would attempt to diminish your ordeal of a long time marriage to an abusive man.

                I have actually wondered if I suffer to some degree from PTSD. Most likely I simply have a lot of anxiety. I imagine extensive therapy/testing is required to determine PTSD as a diagnosis. The problem is, there are many symptoms that cross over with other disorders/affects, ie: depression, insomnia, sensitivity to loud noise, intense irritability, difficulty responding to affection etc.

                In the meantime Caranna, I've heard that YOGA is extremely relaxing and can help with anxiety. I have yet to test this (proven) theory out, but it's on my "list." I hope you can connect with a very good therapist who can help you wade through all of the emotions (old and new). It's a lifetime's worth.

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by standing on the sidelines View Post
                  good idea. The only thing I would be really worried against is if your ex finds someway to put his own spin on it and use it against you.

                  I am not sure if you could recovery costs for treatment but I wish you luck.
                  I don't doubt that he would spin it. I have a lot of experiences with that, especially since separation. Unfortunately there is no evidence I can give that he actually did abuse me those many decades go, as I stayed home for almost 2 weeks, didn't go anywhere because I wanted to hide my face as it was very, very severely bruised and battered.

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                  • #10
                    There's no marks on my face and I feel pretty beaten up sometimes.

                    No one will think you have made up any of your experience. It's not like you are seeking criminal charges. Nonetheless - he is a criminal and I'm sure if you could turn back time, you would have reported the abuse and made sure 50 people saw you including the hospital and the police.

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                    • #11
                      Caranna let him "spin" whatever he wants: right around your middle finger!

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                      • #12
                        Thanks frustrated and hadenough. I have had very disturbing flashbacks for quite awhile, and a myriad of other physical and emotional symptoms that indicate PTSD. I have thought of Yoga, have never really tried it.

                        I'm also really into healthful living, like eating right, which helps a lot in managing my symptoms. The thing is though these symptoms can subside for a little while and then come back in huge waves.

                        This is a message for those who are being abused and Hiding It:

                        Don't wait any longer. Recognize the abuse for what it is. Don't be blinded as I was. Report it, get it out and keep telling people. Shout it from the rooftops if you feel safe to do so...that abuse is never, ever to be tolerated! Never! Sound like a broken record!

                        If you don't feel safe, of course you need to protect yourself and any children you might have. You need to let the police know, especially if you are being physically abused and/or threatened. Call the shelter if you need to. Let your family and friends know...the ones you can trust.

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by hadenough View Post
                          There's no marks on my face and I feel pretty beaten up sometimes.

                          No one will think you have made up any of your experience. It's not like you are seeking criminal charges. Nonetheless - he is a criminal and I'm sure if you could turn back time, you would have reported the abuse and made sure 50 people saw you including the hospital and the police.
                          I wish I would have done so, hadenough. I hid my face for almost 2 weeks because I wanted to hide the abuse! I was actually protecting him, the abusive criminal. I didn't want anyone to know about his abuse. I didn't let anyone know until decades later (my sleep doctor). Oh I could say so much more, but another time.

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                          • #14
                            you know what the worse part is, I had someone tell me that when I was being abused (she was still living with her abuser so hard to take advice from her) to leave the man but I didnt listen. I felt angry at her, how dare she judge me or my partner at the time.

                            I was still in protection mode, lied about the bruises just to protect him. I think I fell off my bike quite alot (that was my excuse). After all was said and done and the truth finally came out I had one person say to me that no one believed I was that bad at bike riding. People were very supportive.

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                            • #15
                              ^ SOS: So glad for you that those days are behind you -- and I bet you're a damn good bike rider

                              Comment

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