Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Recognizing Emotional Manipulation

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Recognizing Emotional Manipulation

    Here's a good site I found that lists how to recognize warning signs of when you are being emotionally manipulated. Those who had a spouse like that, and are still dealing with an ex like that, should find something useful in it.

    Heartless Bitches International - Eight Easy Ways to Spot an Emotional Manipulator

    It's not research-based or anything, but still interesting.

  • #2
    Laminate it and it would make a good wedding shower/stag gift for people getting married.

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by slughead10 View Post
      Copyright© Fiona McColl & Heartless Bitches International (heartless-bitches.com) 2000, All Rights Reserved

      you gotta be fucken kidding me??
      Yeah, I had my doubts when I saw the source, but the article is actually pretty gender neutral. It says a lot of things that Tayken has mentioned around here, but without the technical jargon.

      Originally posted by arabian View Post
      Laminate it and it would make a good wedding shower/stag gift for people getting married.
      It's too late by that point!

      Comment


      • #4
        I thoroughly identified with this article, as this is what happened, and is still happening through this separation procedure. This manipulation can happen in your personal and business relationships. Others saw how I was manipulated, but when you are trying to keep your marriage going, you give in---which is the wrong thing to do as the stress builds and it is hard to cope. I would advise all to read this article.

        Comment


        • #5
          I forget sometimes just how bad it was, and still happens. Other did not see, or chose not to see what was going on.

          He is a friend to all! Some of my family and the friends we had have all maintained a friendship with him. It still baffles me that they do not see him for who he is. That is the most confusing part.

          Comment


          • #6
            Oh I know exactly who he is. No bad mouthing coming from me.

            Comment


            • #7
              The thing about this, is that ultimately it's ones own job to not let anyone pull you away from doing your own thing.

              In other words, it's ones own fault they allowed themselves to be manipulated in the first place. Yeah I know, I shouldn't blame the victim.

              Comment


              • #8
                Sometimes it takes a while to realize that you *are* a victim. Emotional manipulators can be very good at presenting their view of the world as the only logical and reasonable view, and the "victim" accepts this. It's the old boiling-frog story - turn up the heat very slowly and the frog in the pot won't notice it's being boiled.

                Once you have enough "aha" moments and realize that you really are boiling, that's when you can choose between being a victim or a being survivor.

                For me, one of those "aha" moments came when I realized that I had spent years listening to someone telling me he knew what I was *really* thinking and feeling, and that he knew what was in my mind better than I did - and that this was crazy.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by oink View Post
                  Someone is going to run to the Mods on this...it's not what people want to hear i.e. you are hurting their feelings you know
                  You are such a victim.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    in my own situation and others that friends have told me about, the emotional manipulator is a good chameleon in public, and the spouse hides the issues that are lying within the matrimonial home. My friend told me of a situation where the husband finally let loose in public and they were shocked as they had never seen that side of him. In my own situation, we were very good at hiding the boiling pot that was bubbling away at home.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by mememe View Post
                      in my own situation and others that friends have told me about, the emotional manipulator is a good chameleon in public, and the spouse hides the issues that are lying within the matrimonial home. My friend told me of a situation where the husband finally let loose in public and they were shocked as they had never seen that side of him. In my own situation, we were very good at hiding the boiling pot that was bubbling away at home.
                      I guess that my ex could not be 'labeled' as an emotional manipulator, because everyone knows that he's off the charts crazy. His own family and friends no longer want anything to do with him - there was never any need (or desire) on my part to slander his character, he's a big boy and managed to do that all by himself. Our first case conference, he had an all-out meltdown in front of my lawyer ... no manipulation involved.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        That was lucky for you. My lawyer, during questioning, also saw the true colours of my ex. I get that the lawyer has to take what you tell them with a grain of salt as they know their client is telling them their side of the story. It is nice when they see you know what you are talking about.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          For sure it gave my lawyer some extra incentive when my ex threatened to re-organize his face for him. The judge will have no problems with the credibility of my claims. It's a different story with manipulators ... uphill battle.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            "re-organize his face for him?" Wow - sounds like my ex! My ex attended my lawyer's office one time. He had been ordered by a judge to go and sign some bank release documents. I was not present. I later learned that my ex and lawyer had had a huge shouting match in the main reception room.

                            My ex never did sign the documents. To this day my lawyer raises the ex's contempt and will not let it drop. To a casual observer, my ex and lawyer are extremely cordial to each other - even joke around on occasion. I'm told ex's lawyer is quite disturbed by the friendly relationship my ex and my lawyer have.

                            Very strange indeed.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              What I found is that while my ex thought she had successfully deceived my family, turns out she hadn't, and they were just too polite to confront her. They figured correctly that they couldn't do anything about it. But they were relieved when it was all over.

                              Comment

                              Our Divorce Forums
                              Forums dedicated to helping people all across Canada get through the separation and divorce process, with discussions about legal issues, parenting issues, financial issues and more.
                              Working...
                              X