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  • Paying for loss of benefits?

    I just seem to have a lot to ask given I have posted a bunch of different questions in the last few days.
    Ex and I are still separated. Until divorce - she gets to stay on and utilize my benefits package. She has indicated that upon divorce she will be seeking an increase in SS to compensate for the loss of benefits. Now she currently does have a benefits package with her current work however it is not as good as mine. She has (IMHO) exploited my benefits to ensure that she has the 'evidence' behind her to say that "see how much I use this!!! I need more money to keep this up"

    Think I will be required to top her up with more SS ?

  • #2
    Originally posted by thefunone View Post
    Think I will be required to top her up with more SS ?
    How much money / month are we talking? 50$?

    Comment


    • #3
      So she wants the additional SS to do ... what? Pay for a more comprehensive benefits package from her place of employment? Purchase private insurance? Cover out-of-pocket costs for services which are now covered by your plan?

      It seems to me that SS is not the proper vehicle for settling this - if you think of your benefits plan as one of the marital assets and her wanting to be compensated for the loss of this asset, I would think that some sort of lump-sum would be more appropriate. Can you find out what it would cost for her to purchase an insurance plan comparable to the benefits she has through your work, and then offer to give her the equivalent of a year's premiums (or whatever sum you think is appropriate)?

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      • #4
        Is your plan better in every single way?

        If not, then your plan is not objectively better, and I would not pay her a penny in compensation.

        Comment


        • #5
          She's previously indicated that she would seek an increase of $150.00/mth at minimum.
          On top of the 1610.00/mth CS, $430.00 mth S7, and $708.00 SS I'm, already paying.
          I currently am imputed a 115K /yr wage...she is around 55K.
          Arbitrated award indicated that regardless of incomes - she was to get 59.1% and myself 41.9% of net disposable income

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          • #6
            Stripes - Offer her one year's worth? I don't suspect she would be accepting of that. I have kept her on y plan since 2011 - I guess I think 5 years has been generous.

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            • #7
              Originally posted by thefunone View Post
              Stripes - Offer her one year's worth? I don't suspect she would be accepting of that. I have kept her on y plan since 2011 - I guess I think 5 years has been generous.
              I was looking for a middle ground between her position (she wants to utilize the level of benefits your plan provides forever) and your position (she's going to be removed from your benefits plan because that what "divorced" means) Personally, I have a lot more sympathy for your position, but sometimes it's good to look for a compromise. What I suggested was a way to calculate that compromise position rather than pulling numbers out of the air.

              With the amount of SS you're already paying, she should be able to purchase pretty good insurance for herself.

              Comment


              • #8
                LOL I read this thread and I laughed and recalled when I spoke to my lawyer a few years back about something similar. My lawyer told me SS negotiated is to cover for everything from trips to the hairdresser to pedicures to health care. Is your ex currently receiving expensive medication covered under the plan which would not be covered on a new one? Lawyer emphasized to me the importance of careful preparation of a budget at the start of our divorce. This little document (budget) has been examined yearly and I am, yet again, thankful for the excellent legal advice I received back in 2009 from my lawyer.

                Quit listening to your ex.

                Instead examine the budget she proposed - she did submit one right? Your lawyer did ask for one right?

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                • #9
                  You've got to be kidding me. WTF You are making 115K and she is making 55K and you are paying 1,610 child support, 430 S7 and 708 spousal? And now she wants more? There is no way you should be paying that much.

                  Do you pay a payroll deduction for your benefits. Why are her benefits so much worse. What does yours cover that hers does not.

                  Do not agree to pay anything more and you should be paying alot less than you are paying right now. How on earth did you get screwed so badly?

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    I have a pretty comprehensive package of benefits. Was told that you can't really put a price on that as it as you said 'is a payroll deduction'
                    How did I get such a terrible decision against me?
                    Easy - mediation/arbitration with an apparently 'excellent' arbitrator in Ottawa initials KD...tough lesson learned.
                    Did a check through my benefits provider - since 2014 ex has amassed the use of over 10K in benefits (counselor stuff is the majority)
                    The suspicious side in me thinks that she is doing this to show that she uses my benefits so much that once she gets removed - she can't afford to continue her sessions which benefit her mental health and therefore - I need to supplement that....as I said - the suspicious side in me.
                    We shall see.

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                    • #11
                      If your ex has, while married with you, set status quo with expensive monthly trips to the hairdresser or her therapist then you should see this on her budget.

                      Did the two of you fill out budgets and exchange?

                      It is not uncommon for people who have expensive medicines to try to get more SS. It is also not uncommon for a SS award to include cost of payee's new medical insurance provider premiums.

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                      • #12
                        Understood - while we were together - she never went to counseling. Never felt the need or requirement despite the issues between us and her own self diagnosed suffering of depression.
                        The moment we split - twice a month.
                        Yes we filled out budgets and exchanged and all was put forth at Arbitration.
                        The Arbitrator indicated that she would not address the benefits matter because at that time - we were not divorced. Her indication was that if and when we divorce, my ex could make application.
                        Which I fully expect.

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                        • #13
                          so you bring up the matter of full time employment usually comes with employee benefits.

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                          • #14
                            When I divorced (married 30 years) the SS award considered the budgets. SS awards also consider age of two parties, health etc. and ability of recipient to become self-sufficient. It seems to me that your ex has achieved self-sufficiency. You were only married 10 years (correct?) and have paid SS for 5 years.

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                            • #15
                              in 2011 this was your post:

                              I am able to retire in about 5-7 yrs. Currently avg 94K base...107K with OT. Paying SS and CS w ex making about 35K. She will be getting a portion of my pension. Her 5yr plan (from today) is to be fulltime by then making 75-85K - benefits - pension etc. Is it possible that if I retire and she is making that kind of money that she would in fact pay me SS?

                              Do you have her "5yr plan" in writing?

                              Comment

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