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  • Childrens aid

    I have gotten to a point while dealing with the courts and childrens aid that I am pushed to the limit. Something has to change so I am working on a project right now.
    My case. 2 years ago right after my father died my ex accused me and alot of my family of sexually abusing our daughter. I lost 3 months of access including christmas time with our daughter. Childrens aid claimed that they felt our daughter was being coached into saying these things but that it was all not true.
    Here is my issue, when childrens aid finds out that someone has been coaching a child, or even just bringing up false allegations why is the person who has done this not investigated. Is it not child abuse to coach a 3 year old to say daddy touched me? So I am looking for letters and contacts from anyone who has had dealings with the CAS where they have been falsely accused and it has impacted your relationship with your child. My email is fireweb13@hotmail.com and I would be happy for anything. Thank you

  • #2
    Originally posted by fireweb13 View Post
    I have gotten to a point while dealing with the courts and childrens aid that I am pushed to the limit. Something has to change so I am working on a project right now.
    My case. 2 years ago right after my father died my ex accused me and alot of my family of sexually abusing our daughter. I lost 3 months of access including christmas time with our daughter. Childrens aid claimed that they felt our daughter was being coached into saying these things but that it was all not true.
    Here is my issue, when childrens aid finds out that someone has been coaching a child, or even just bringing up false allegations why is the person who has done this not investigated. Is it not child abuse to coach a 3 year old to say daddy touched me? So I am looking for letters and contacts from anyone who has had dealings with the CAS where they have been falsely accused and it has impacted your relationship with your child. My email is fireweb13@hotmail.com and I would be happy for anything. Thank you
    did you check Canada Court Watch

    they have a lot of stuff regarding CAS

    Comment


    • #3
      I have done that, going to use some of their resources to help me as well. I figured I would also do what I can on my own as well as what they are doing. I think that CAS fears canada court watch, I am trying to get involved from a different way.

      Comment


      • #4
        It’s a social agenda thing. The same allegations were brought forward by my ex over our daughter. My parental rights were severed to my daughter by the court and by court order while; they left my young boys in my sole care. So they stigmatize me as a pedophile yet leave 2 children in my care. It really confused the schit out of the folks at the supervised access center; showing up with half my children for supervised access for yet another one. (Social training, may as well start the boys off early)They seemed more stunned when the police were there some months later investigating how I was able to sexually abuse my daughter there. Allegation #4 I think and, we have to use that term meekly because unbeknownst to me, there are different kinds of allegations. The ones you want and get recognized involve the police. So, all the little ones, too many to list don’t mean a thing. At my (I think) fifth interrogation by the police over the last allegation and trip to the hospital emergency for my daughter, they put this question to me; "Why should we believe you over your ex wife?" I said, "even if it was the Chief of police was sitting right there across from me, there isn't a thing he or, the police were going to do to stop my ex from make such heinous allegations against me." True to form, they took no action, my daughter had to endure another rape kit at the children’s hospital. Why? Because then the mom can say joint custody is a no go because, we can't communicate and, a status quo is created (by lost access) that the court won't change especially if it’s for the mom. Never mind the abuse these allegations had/have caused my daughter. In the end, because there really is/was no protection for my daughter from the police, CAS, the Court and, perpetrated by my ex, I ended up taking a back seat in parenting her. Somewhere in all this schit and vilifying me we all lost focus on what was happening to my daughter. The abuse for all its intense and purpose has stopped. My daughter and I have the rubber stamp relationship…its awesome, sure I’d like more but, at what price. For the above to start over again just for everybody to stick their heads in the sand in the end….

        I don’t mind sharing some information on a public forum, I have become kind of numb being called and investigate numerous times over allegedly sexually abusing my children. It wasn’t always like that, I spent many, many days and nights really frightened. Never alleged by anybody but my ex wives, always during the custody litigation. Oh by the way, the first ex alleged (during our custody litigation) that I sexually abused our boys as well. Although brought up during the 29 day trial, it never made it into the judges reasons, it didn’t matter, the mom won sole custody and the abuse continued till finally the CAS was forced to apprehend them, I was able to gain custody after the police, CAS, court and court again…not so much by my efforts rather the lack of hers, the police, CAS, court and court again.

        So yeah, I have had no less than 25 CAS workers in my life, many doctors, lawyers, judges, social workers and, a mountain of paper work….so what do you want to know?

        Comment


        • #5
          Well I would like you to email me, then if and only if you want to give me copies of documents (you can black out any personal info by all means) and when I can compile a few examples of what is going on I am going to take it one step further. I am tired of this and all the CAS supervisor told me was that they need proof that it really is a false allegation. I know it's dumb but well I gotta take it to another level.

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by SillyMe View Post
            It’s a social agenda thing. The same allegations were brought forward by my ex over our daughter. My parental rights were severed to my daughter by the court and by court order while; they left my young boys in my sole care. So they stigmatize me as a pedophile yet leave 2 children in my care. It really confused the schit out of the folks at the supervised access center; showing up with half my children for supervised access for yet another one. (Social training, may as well start the boys off early)They seemed more stunned when the police were there some months later investigating how I was able to sexually abuse my daughter there. Allegation #4 I think and, we have to use that term meekly because unbeknownst to me, there are different kinds of allegations. The ones you want and get recognized involve the police. So, all the little ones, too many to list don’t mean a thing. At my (I think) fifth interrogation by the police over the last allegation and trip to the hospital emergency for my daughter, they put this question to me; "Why should we believe you over your ex wife?" I said, "even if it was the Chief of police was sitting right there across from me, there isn't a thing he or, the police were going to do to stop my ex from make such heinous allegations against me." True to form, they took no action, my daughter had to endure another rape kit at the children’s hospital. Why? Because then the mom can say joint custody is a no go because, we can't communicate and, a status quo is created (by lost access) that the court won't change especially if it’s for the mom. Never mind the abuse these allegations had/have caused my daughter. In the end, because there really is/was no protection for my daughter from the police, CAS, the Court and, perpetrated by my ex, I ended up taking a back seat in parenting her. Somewhere in all this schit and vilifying me we all lost focus on what was happening to my daughter. The abuse for all its intense and purpose has stopped. My daughter and I have the rubber stamp relationship…its awesome, sure I’d like more but, at what price. For the above to start over again just for everybody to stick their heads in the sand in the end….

            I don’t mind sharing some information on a public forum, I have become kind of numb being called and investigate numerous times over allegedly sexually abusing my children. It wasn’t always like that, I spent many, many days and nights really frightened. Never alleged by anybody but my ex wives, always during the custody litigation. Oh by the way, the first ex alleged (during our custody litigation) that I sexually abused our boys as well. Although brought up during the 29 day trial, it never made it into the judges reasons, it didn’t matter, the mom won sole custody and the abuse continued till finally the CAS was forced to apprehend them, I was able to gain custody after the police, CAS, court and court again…not so much by my efforts rather the lack of hers, the police, CAS, court and court again.

            So yeah, I have had no less than 25 CAS workers in my life, many doctors, lawyers, judges, social workers and, a mountain of paper work….so what do you want to know?
            I want to know how you still alive. Mentally and physically and are you going to do something with those false accusation. It's become clear to me that this big big cancer in Canada

            Comment


            • #7
              If you read from the Parliamentary Joint Committees For the Sake of the Children, recommendation 43 discusses this issue, though it has been collecting dust since around 1998. Guess all that money to get that report was a waste.

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by fireweb13 View Post
                Well I would like you to email me, then if and only if you want to give me copies of documents (you can black out any personal info by all means) and when I can compile a few examples of what is going on I am going to take it one step further. I am tired of this and all the CAS supervisor told me was that they need proof that it really is a false allegation. I know it's dumb but well I gotta take it to another level.

                You have a bunch of problems to deal with;

                In my case, the court wouldn't allow the CAS to be deemed experts therefore, they couldn't give opinion evidence so, they became ineffectual. In other-words, even if you could get the CAS on side, it wouldn't do a bit of good.

                Don't forget, nobody gives a schit about what you had to go through. It is such a common occurrence now-a-days, just like me; those that deal with it have become so hardened...

                The trick is to demonstrate this behavior is detrimental to the child and who you going to get that from; given the above? The child therapist? Be prepared for huge $$$ for play therapy addendum for a child that young.

                If you are going to trial with this as an issue, best read up on Voir dire...you'll need it.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Definitely words to heed fireweb.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    If everyone said there was nothing you can do with a huge problem then you would never get anywhere. I know that my case is no different, and probably a lot less bad than others but if we stand divided then we are 1 voice. What have any of you done to improve the situation? I am just starting to work on this and its a long battle, I am hardened by dealing with it but I gotta go forward. If anyone wants to discuss their issues with false allegations with CAS then I want to hear it. We gotta have action now. I don't want to be having the same conversation in 10 years with people about how there is a problem and nothing has been done.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by fireweb13 View Post
                      If everyone said there was nothing you can do with a huge problem then you would never get anywhere. I know that my case is no different, and probably a lot less bad than others but if we stand divided then we are 1 voice. What have any of you done to improve the situation? I am just starting to work on this and its a long battle, I am hardened by dealing with it but I gotta go forward. If anyone wants to discuss their issues with false allegations with CAS then I want to hear it. We gotta have action now. I don't want to be having the same conversation in 10 years with people about how there is a problem and nothing has been done.
                      I am complete agree with what fireweb13 said. Fortunately I did not deal with CAS yet except one phone call from them asking my side of story. So I do not have really anything from my experience but if something I can do let me know I will try to help within my capacity and abilities ....

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Thank you Working Dad. Once I compile a few people, hopefully lots of people's stories we can go from there. I think that the main priority right now is getting a listing of people who this has happened to, and getting their stories and hopefully some of the documents they have about their situation. The main thing I felt when I met with a supervisor at CAS is that even though there are lots of false allegations, they have nothing in Common. They do have something in common, and that is trying to sever a relationship between child and parent, and trying to get a step up in Family court. I am looking for anyone who is willing to work with me, and the more feedback be it good or bad, and I do need the bad stuff because it will help us be stronger and have a better arguement. Thank you

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Fireweb, I feel your pain. My situation is not quite as dramatic as yours but I'm fed up with the CAS. Being told different things by different people, talked to in a condescending way, actually lied to I learned today and accused of being a bad influence on my kids and threatened that I'd would not see my kids. If there's anything I can do to help your cause, contact me. I'd love to take these people down a few notches.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Children's Aid

                            Try the After Foster Care Coucil, it's run by John Dunn. There are many on this site I'm sure could also help you. John is a former foster child (now adult) that can give you a wealth of info.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              I'm not a lawyer, or a judge. But it seems pretty clear a child being exposed to rape kits (on several occasions, no less!), is not in the best interest of the child. Seems to me thats a good starting point - 'the best interests' test.

                              Unfortunately, that is NOT child abuse. Child abuse is physical. Emotional abuse to a child is NOT a crime. I found this out as my ex's new husband likes to tell my son that I don't love him. Not a goddamn thing I can do about it through CAS or the police. Brutal.

                              Comment

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