Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Joint custody - Ex wants to move from ON to BC

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Joint custody - Ex wants to move from ON to BC

    Been separated from ex for 6 years and divorced for 3. We have a final order outlining joint custody of 2 boys (7 and 13), week on week off access schedule.

    I recently filed a motion to change the day of the week that we exchange the children. I made several attempts to arrange mediation but my ex would not agree to mediate.

    After I filed the motion she responded with the same unsubstantiated claims that she brought up years ago when we first split. I am remarried and many of the newer claims are about my wife...the two women have never met because from day one my ex has been threatening over phone, hostile etc. My ex is no longer allowed to attend our home to pick up the kids because of numerous threats she has made towards my current spouse. My wife has a fantastic relationship with my kids and my youngest views and treats her like she is the best mother in the world. It's really amazing to see the connection that they have.

    In my ex's response, she is asking for sole custody of both kids and to move them from Ontario to BC to reconcile with a boyfriend who she plans to marry. She would be working in the same field as she currently does but her motivation is to move there and get married. Her affidavit belittles my role in the kids lives and states that although I try to be a good dad, I have no connection with the kids. The whole things reads as immature and extremely bitter.

    I don't think I have anything to worry about but if anyone on here has any suggestions I'm all ears.

    I think the judge will quickly realize that she is not acting in the best interests of the kids but only her best interests.
    Last edited by Teddie; 06-11-2015, 02:35 PM. Reason: spelling and correction of some small details

  • #2
    Originally posted by Teddie View Post
    ...
    I think the judge will quickly realize that she is not acting in the best interests of the kids but only her best interests...
    Yes, and I think your ex would be hard-put to show why moving out to BC now, away from one of the parents, after all this time, would be in the children's best interests.

    I'm sure your children have connections here, and not there?
    Family here, and not there?
    etc.

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by dad2bandm View Post
      Yes, and I think your ex would be hard-put to show why moving out to BC now, away from one of the parents, after all this time, would be in the children's best interests.

      I'm sure your children have connections here, and not there?
      Family here, and not there?
      etc.
      4 sets of grandparents and a slew of aunts, uncles, family friends, social activities. I'm still confused as to her state of mind in thinking that this could possibly be a good idea.

      My ex claims to have family connections in BC but I'm only aware of an elderly aunt.

      The boyfriend she plans to live with was an on-again off-again thing for a couple of years; no real stability in the relationship. He has no kids of his own so it would make far more sense for him to relocate.

      Not worried, but like anything in court, it unfortunate to have to spend money to fight these things.

      Comment


      • #4
        Was she primary caregiver at one point?

        The judge will look at who facilitate the most access to the other parent in terms of extended vacations etc... as a factor so be generous with that.

        The fact you have shared custody, family in the area, you are stable, etc..... is a big winnner for you.

        Its sad you have to waste money paying a lawyer...

        Comment


        • #5
          Maybe she thinks it is a sort of threat to get you to back down about changing the exchange day? It sure is an over the top escalation. I'm sure a judge would see how ridiculous it is, and be sure to ask for costs.

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by Rioe View Post
            Maybe she thinks it is a sort of threat to get you to back down about changing the exchange day? It sure is an over the top escalation. I'm sure a judge would see how ridiculous it is, and be sure to ask for costs.
            Over the top escalation is bang on. We asked for costs and I really that hope I finally am successful. We've asked in the past and they were never awarded. This time around I really made attempts to avoid court.

            Thanks

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by Links17 View Post
              Was she primary caregiver at one point?

              The judge will look at who facilitate the most access to the other parent in terms of extended vacations etc... as a factor so be generous with that.

              The fact you have shared custody, family in the area, you are stable, etc..... is a big winnner for you.

              Its sad you have to waste money paying a lawyer...

              She has never been primary caregiver. I've been generous with granting holiday time when she's requested extra days but the favour is rarely returned.

              I really hope the judge see's this the same way that I do.

              Thanks

              Comment


              • #8
                You do not have anything to worry about?

                The judge can grant the move despite it being irrational and unlikely.

                Comment


                • #9
                  I've seen some strange decisions in CanLii. Especially by trial judges. I assume nothing.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Not saying it's a slam dunk that she won't get what she wants but if I was betting money I like my chance. Ex has twice been made to perform "services" by the cas after being reported for physical abuse towards the kids.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      You just need to present all the arguements and show heavily they weigh. The 13 year old is quite old and his opinion will matter, furthermore they won't split the kids. What would the kids say?

                      if this ISN'T a slam dunk you know there is a problem in the system.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Links17 View Post
                        You just need to present all the arguements and show heavily they weigh. The 13 year old is quite old and his opinion will matter, furthermore they won't split the kids. What would the kids say?

                        if this ISN'T a slam dunk you know there is a problem in the system.
                        My youngest doesn't want to move although my ex has been trying to sell him on the idea. He loves life the way it is and has really been doing well at school, making friends, playing organized sports. My oldest is only agreeing with my ex because he's mad at me for grounding him for skipping school.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          I'm not a lawyer, but it sounds to me like Mom doesn't really have a case. An on-and-off boyfriend and a thirteen-year-old who's ticked off because he was grounded don't outweigh three years of 50/50, an existing order for same, and an established home and school routine for the kids. I would just let her bark about this one - I don't see it going anywhere. Just keep reiterating that you believe the existing situation (50/50) is in the children's best interests, therefore you do not consent to changes to the order.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Teddie View Post
                            My youngest doesn't want to move although my ex has been trying to sell him on the idea. He loves life the way it is and has really been doing well at school, making friends, playing organized sports. My oldest is only agreeing with my ex because he's mad at me for grounding him for skipping school.
                            Hmmm.... be-careful the whole "because I grounded him" will be hard to prove..... In the judgement its going to say. I would be sure to establish that he did skip school (via documented teacher school interactions) that you grounded him and what your ex did or did not do. EVEN then you will have to make the link between his decision and the grounding....

                            However, I still wouldn't even think about it unless there is a motion you are served with.

                            "The older child wanted to move and would have missed there mother too much who is going to improve her employement options and start a life with her long-time partner"

                            Its all spin, I've noticed even judges SPIN in their judgements to make what they are doing is making sense or they choose to ignore facts that don't jive with their prejudice..... or they embellish minor points to make it seem like they are major.

                            However, I wouldnt worry at all until I had been served.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              I know someone who went through this and won self repped. His ex couldnt prove the benefit to moving the kids out of the community they had grown up in and had very strong educational and sport ties to. Both kids wanted to go but dad fought it and won. The decision hinged on her inability to show how it would benefit the kids. She couldnt prove that it would.

                              Comment

                              Our Divorce Forums
                              Forums dedicated to helping people all across Canada get through the separation and divorce process, with discussions about legal issues, parenting issues, financial issues and more.
                              Working...
                              X