So I've been separated a while and have moved on in a great relationship! My new guy is amazing - both our ex's cheated and we are really committed!
My ex was a cheater .... 4 or 5 short flings .... I never trusted him and always was suspicious but could not ever find any proof .... finally I just couldn't bear it any longer and I left ....
Well .....
I received a call from a girl I know who told me that she had a 12 year affair with my ex and was calling to apologize!!!!! He broke up with her after 12 years when he found out I had a new boyfriend .... he was with someone new also. Someone he cheated with - she was married when they met and she left her husband for him. So .... he cheated on me for 12 years and then cheated on her with this new woman then dumped her cold!!! She is very angry that he promised her the world then dumped her. She said he made me out to be a total bitch and he played the victim. She said he was a big liar and was the scum on the bottom of the barrel.
Even though I've moved on I felt devastated to find out the degree of his cheating and lying. I had no idea this was even going on!!! I was so blind to it. I suspected they had an affair 10 years ago and we had gone to counselling and at the time he didn't stop seeing her which ended our counselling sessions. I stayed with him though - I was so weak and could not leave and be on my own. I feel like I really wasted 29 years of my life.
On the other hand I feel validated for leaving and know I made the right decision. I suggested the mistress pick up the pieces of her life and move on. Imagine me, giving advice to my STBX exhusband's mistress to move on!!!!!
I'm angry and confused at my kids now because when I left him he cried the victim to my adult children who sided with him (they knew he cheated but they didn't know about the 12 year affair) and gave me total grief. They were so angry at me for leaving (even though he cheated) and put me through hell only for me to find out now he was in a relationship for 12 years!!!!! They really treated me like shit.
I don't know what to do - I want them to realize what he did to me but I feel like they aren't really absorbing it - maybe because they haven't experienced it ..... I don't know .....
Anyway .... it really sucks and I wish I could just forget it and move on - I'm trying but I'm back on this emotional roller coaster. One minute angry that he did this behind my back and the next happy as a clam that I'm out of the relationship. I feel like I want him to suffer.
My ex was a cheater .... 4 or 5 short flings .... I never trusted him and always was suspicious but could not ever find any proof .... finally I just couldn't bear it any longer and I left ....
Well .....
I received a call from a girl I know who told me that she had a 12 year affair with my ex and was calling to apologize!!!!! He broke up with her after 12 years when he found out I had a new boyfriend .... he was with someone new also. Someone he cheated with - she was married when they met and she left her husband for him. So .... he cheated on me for 12 years and then cheated on her with this new woman then dumped her cold!!! She is very angry that he promised her the world then dumped her. She said he made me out to be a total bitch and he played the victim. She said he was a big liar and was the scum on the bottom of the barrel.
Even though I've moved on I felt devastated to find out the degree of his cheating and lying. I had no idea this was even going on!!! I was so blind to it. I suspected they had an affair 10 years ago and we had gone to counselling and at the time he didn't stop seeing her which ended our counselling sessions. I stayed with him though - I was so weak and could not leave and be on my own. I feel like I really wasted 29 years of my life.
On the other hand I feel validated for leaving and know I made the right decision. I suggested the mistress pick up the pieces of her life and move on. Imagine me, giving advice to my STBX exhusband's mistress to move on!!!!!
I'm angry and confused at my kids now because when I left him he cried the victim to my adult children who sided with him (they knew he cheated but they didn't know about the 12 year affair) and gave me total grief. They were so angry at me for leaving (even though he cheated) and put me through hell only for me to find out now he was in a relationship for 12 years!!!!! They really treated me like shit.
I don't know what to do - I want them to realize what he did to me but I feel like they aren't really absorbing it - maybe because they haven't experienced it ..... I don't know .....
Anyway .... it really sucks and I wish I could just forget it and move on - I'm trying but I'm back on this emotional roller coaster. One minute angry that he did this behind my back and the next happy as a clam that I'm out of the relationship. I feel like I want him to suffer.
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