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    hi everyone

    i have full custody of my kids. in our custody agreement one of our agreement states that i wont drive farther then a certain amount of km to bring the kids to see her if ever she moved. she has now moved and her new place is farther then the set amount of km not by much but is still farther. am i still obliged to drive them to see her. she is on welfare (her choice to get out of paying child support) and doesn't have a car.

    she is threatening to take me to court if i don't drive the kids.

    should i go out of my way to drive the extra km's even though she hasn't helped me out at all in any way with the kids in 2 years or should i stick to the agreement ?

    thank you

  • #2
    If she is a good mother the distance should not be a factor. Do the right thing in the interest of the children. Not receiving money from her because she is on welfare imo should not be the deciding factor for her not seeing her children.

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    • #3
      Think of your kids. It is in their best interest to maintain a relationship with their mother. Do the drive. Do the right thing for your kids.

      Comment


      • #4
        I agree with what others have said.

        I am curious why a specific distance was written in a court order and how did it get there?

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        • #5
          Originally posted by afraid View Post
          ...her new place is farther then the set amount of km not by much but is still farther...
          I agree with the others who chimed in here, but... I guess it would hinge on what is meant by "not by much but is still farther". I understand your side of it, since I also do all the driving for child access.

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          • #6
            thank you for you replies

            our older son cant stand her. she beat him when he was younger she is a horrible mother. she has not respected anything in the agreement her being on welfare is not why i wouldn't drive them to see her. i would love nothing more then for them to have some kind of a relationship with their mother. the kids were seeing her 30 hours a month before she moved and every time they would go there her bf would call them nasty names and yell at them for the 30 hours they are there my ex and her bf would fight violently in front of the kids it would take me 2-3 days to clam them down after i picked them up.

            when they go there she does nothing with them they just sit around the house she is so busy fighting with her bf she would hardly even spend time with the kids and they always come back complaining how they did nothing and it was boring

            this is why i'm wondering if it is worth the drive

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            • #7
              I feel for you as I also do all the driving, but given that you said it isn't much further, I think you would be deemed to be the unreasonable one. If it was substantially further, or even a fair amount further, I would argue that the other parent should be responsible for the extra distance.

              I have a feeling you're more than just a little PO'd at the fact that the ex is otherwise a deadbeat that doesn't contribute to the children's financial upbringing, but put that aside. The kids need both parents in their lives. Over time they will realize you've done all that you could for them, and they will appreciate you more for it.

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              • #8
                on top of that she has a 10 month old with her new bf and is 8 months pregnant with her next kid

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by afraid View Post
                  this is why i'm wondering if it is worth the drive
                  It's worth the drive to not appear as being the bad guy.

                  Your ex is a bad parent. Sometimes it is harder to be a good parent and do the right thing.

                  If you have legitimate concerns about your ex's parenting time and signs of abuse or violent episodes in their residence, call CAS.

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by afraid View Post
                    on top of that she has a 10 month old with her new bf and is 8 months pregnant with her next kid
                    Irrelevant to the question at hand. And if nothing else would give her more reason not to be able to make the extra travel.

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                    • #11
                      thank you HammerDad

                      you see i live i Quebec we have the dpj here i called them when they went to investigate her and question her they called her and gave her a week notice before they went over to her place so because she had notice she cleaned up her place and her bf left for the day so when they went over they saw nothing wrong and dropped the case

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                      • #12
                        i also found out here in Quebec someone can do any drugs they want in a house with kids living there as long as they don't do it in the same room as the kids are in. her bf takes drugs. how messed up is that. and i cant do anything about it.

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                        • #13
                          they even got busted for growing and selling pot from their basement and still i cant do anything

                          this is why i am so worried every time the kids are over there

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by afraid View Post
                            they even got busted for growing and selling pot from their basement and still i cant do anything

                            this is why i am so worried every time the kids are over there
                            How did you come to know this?

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                            • #15
                              the police called me they wanted me to take his and her child into my care because they were taking both of them to jail she spent 24 hours in jail and him a month. they were growing plants in the basement he had the trunk of his car full of packaged pot and they had 4000$ in a safe in the house. but for weeks she kept telling me she had no money and she was having trouble paying her bills.

                              just 2 months before hand child protective services said there was no danger for the kids and dropped my case go figure.

                              Comment

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