I've been reading lots of threads since I first registered in last December but now, realizing my case is not going anywhere, I decided to post my story. Since it's very long, I'll stick with the facts and leave the details aside.
I've been separated more than one year ago. From October to April, we were still living in the matr home but in different rooms. I'm a public servant with a good pension and she drive her own daycare at home with a little investment in RESP. I earn double her salary (yes she's coming for SS). We have 3 kids; S15, D13 and D8. When we call it over, I told her that we should move on with our life without prejudices to the children. I reassured the children of the situation and from then, she started a battle. She's fighting for full custody and I'm going for shared custody 50/50. I was doing everything in the house (cleaning, cooking, washing, shoveling, mowing, garbage, groceries, etc... ) taking care of the primary needs of the kids and we were sharing the secondary (swimming courses, gymnastic, dance lesson, cadets, after school activities, etc...) I was working Monday to Friday and was doing her Books for her Daycare including her statement of incomes to file her taxes.
From October 2014, she started to take control over the kids and keeping them away from their father. She always had plans with the kids so I couldn't spend time with them. D13 and D8 would join me downstairs in my room and their mother would call them up for bath time (at 6h30 when normally it's 7h30-8h00) Children would sleep in her room on an air mattress, watch movies instead of using the family room... because I wasn't allowed in the Master Room. It was also kept locked with keys as she started to hide things in her room. S15 would sleep with me as both D's were sleeping with their mother. Had to fight to have time with my children for Christmas (from 4pm on the 26th till the 28th.) Only had the Thursday night during the March Break. When I was asking the kids to do something, they had to ask/verify with their mother. Very hard and frustrating to plan anything with my kids. But I know she is playing something to make me angry and trying to file something against me so I'm keeping calm.
I met someone in February (the 14th) and once she knew, she became worst. S15 was spending more time with me and she hated it. I had an Easter breakfast with my kids and my new friend and family. She was furious. After Easter, I came home early to find her packing stuff with my kids, her uncle and two aunts. It was past 9h30pm and the kids had school the following day. She took my computer away and some other stuff. Call the police who told me to fix this with my lawyer. My friend told me to take my clothes and go at her place for the night. One of her aunt called the police and... they came. In front of the cops, I told her not to change the locks, as I will still come home to take care of the children. The next Friday, the locks were changed.
I called the Police to re-enter my house and spend time with my children. They went inside to speak with my ex and her father. The cops came back saying she had full custody of the house and the kids. I was to leave and not come back or I would be arrested. She had no Court Order to do so but I couldn't argue with the cops... useless. Call my lawyer... useless. I was then without a home, without access to my children. Spend 3 weeks trying to readjust my living and negotiate access with my children. Lawyer's were only playing tags with phones and emails. I only got a couple of hours with my kids on the night of my birthday. She file with CAS for being abusif and violent. (this was later dismissed)
Back to work... my co-workers would ask me how I'm doing and bla bla bla. I was angry, depressed, sad having to go through all this. I told them I feel I could "choke her to death" for what she is doing. Was overheard by my Manager who called the Police. Was arrested. She told the cops (Quebec side) that she wanted to put charges against me. Her statement; for 15 years, she was physically, mentally and emotionally abused (Wow!). Now I'm copping with a criminal file and a family law file at the same time.
It's a real battle to have access with the kids. They always have plans and homeworks. She's working on her status quo I guest. My appartment is to small to accommodate the kids. So I did everything I could to buy a new home with plenty of rooms. But every reasons is good to limit the access to NIL. We had mediation in June but did not reach a settlement as she wanted everything. Was able to move my furnitures in my new home and see my kids for 5 Sundays in a row. They loved it and asked when they could spend an overnight. Since July 26th, I haven't seen them.
I change lawyer as the other one was useless. Nothing was done in August and September to study the file and negotiations started in October. After 3 refusals, I decided to go to court. In November, had the first Case Conference. The female judge didn't like me... with my criminal file. Police report says that I threatened to hurt/kill my wife and the kids. I wanted to show the real statement that says only my ex was the object but the judge oppose to it. Order for CS based on my Off work salary. Can only see my children under supervision at a center but they are 3 months full (so there goes Christmas). Stupid after seeing them in the Summer (what is different now?). Order to have a lawyer for the children. Have to pull several documents from my psy, doctor and work insurance to the other party as ordered for the next 30 days while she has nothing to do on her side but to spend nice time with the kids. No time to discuss the house that I want on the market since last Spring. Must bring the rest in a motion scheduled in February. Debts is pilling up. Hope my criminal file will be dismissed soon with Conditional forgiveness.
I have proof of her being not reasonable, doing parental alienation and restraining the children from seeing their father. Am I still fighting for nothing over a 50/50 custody? I have a good parental plan and always been very closed to my children and implicated in all their activities and developments. She will say that there is no way for any communication between us to make decisions for the children so she can have full custody but at their age, the children can express themselves and communicate their needs to each of their parent so communication between the two of us shouldn't be an issue? Any thoughts or ideas over my drastic story?
I've been separated more than one year ago. From October to April, we were still living in the matr home but in different rooms. I'm a public servant with a good pension and she drive her own daycare at home with a little investment in RESP. I earn double her salary (yes she's coming for SS). We have 3 kids; S15, D13 and D8. When we call it over, I told her that we should move on with our life without prejudices to the children. I reassured the children of the situation and from then, she started a battle. She's fighting for full custody and I'm going for shared custody 50/50. I was doing everything in the house (cleaning, cooking, washing, shoveling, mowing, garbage, groceries, etc... ) taking care of the primary needs of the kids and we were sharing the secondary (swimming courses, gymnastic, dance lesson, cadets, after school activities, etc...) I was working Monday to Friday and was doing her Books for her Daycare including her statement of incomes to file her taxes.
From October 2014, she started to take control over the kids and keeping them away from their father. She always had plans with the kids so I couldn't spend time with them. D13 and D8 would join me downstairs in my room and their mother would call them up for bath time (at 6h30 when normally it's 7h30-8h00) Children would sleep in her room on an air mattress, watch movies instead of using the family room... because I wasn't allowed in the Master Room. It was also kept locked with keys as she started to hide things in her room. S15 would sleep with me as both D's were sleeping with their mother. Had to fight to have time with my children for Christmas (from 4pm on the 26th till the 28th.) Only had the Thursday night during the March Break. When I was asking the kids to do something, they had to ask/verify with their mother. Very hard and frustrating to plan anything with my kids. But I know she is playing something to make me angry and trying to file something against me so I'm keeping calm.
I met someone in February (the 14th) and once she knew, she became worst. S15 was spending more time with me and she hated it. I had an Easter breakfast with my kids and my new friend and family. She was furious. After Easter, I came home early to find her packing stuff with my kids, her uncle and two aunts. It was past 9h30pm and the kids had school the following day. She took my computer away and some other stuff. Call the police who told me to fix this with my lawyer. My friend told me to take my clothes and go at her place for the night. One of her aunt called the police and... they came. In front of the cops, I told her not to change the locks, as I will still come home to take care of the children. The next Friday, the locks were changed.
I called the Police to re-enter my house and spend time with my children. They went inside to speak with my ex and her father. The cops came back saying she had full custody of the house and the kids. I was to leave and not come back or I would be arrested. She had no Court Order to do so but I couldn't argue with the cops... useless. Call my lawyer... useless. I was then without a home, without access to my children. Spend 3 weeks trying to readjust my living and negotiate access with my children. Lawyer's were only playing tags with phones and emails. I only got a couple of hours with my kids on the night of my birthday. She file with CAS for being abusif and violent. (this was later dismissed)
Back to work... my co-workers would ask me how I'm doing and bla bla bla. I was angry, depressed, sad having to go through all this. I told them I feel I could "choke her to death" for what she is doing. Was overheard by my Manager who called the Police. Was arrested. She told the cops (Quebec side) that she wanted to put charges against me. Her statement; for 15 years, she was physically, mentally and emotionally abused (Wow!). Now I'm copping with a criminal file and a family law file at the same time.
It's a real battle to have access with the kids. They always have plans and homeworks. She's working on her status quo I guest. My appartment is to small to accommodate the kids. So I did everything I could to buy a new home with plenty of rooms. But every reasons is good to limit the access to NIL. We had mediation in June but did not reach a settlement as she wanted everything. Was able to move my furnitures in my new home and see my kids for 5 Sundays in a row. They loved it and asked when they could spend an overnight. Since July 26th, I haven't seen them.
I change lawyer as the other one was useless. Nothing was done in August and September to study the file and negotiations started in October. After 3 refusals, I decided to go to court. In November, had the first Case Conference. The female judge didn't like me... with my criminal file. Police report says that I threatened to hurt/kill my wife and the kids. I wanted to show the real statement that says only my ex was the object but the judge oppose to it. Order for CS based on my Off work salary. Can only see my children under supervision at a center but they are 3 months full (so there goes Christmas). Stupid after seeing them in the Summer (what is different now?). Order to have a lawyer for the children. Have to pull several documents from my psy, doctor and work insurance to the other party as ordered for the next 30 days while she has nothing to do on her side but to spend nice time with the kids. No time to discuss the house that I want on the market since last Spring. Must bring the rest in a motion scheduled in February. Debts is pilling up. Hope my criminal file will be dismissed soon with Conditional forgiveness.
I have proof of her being not reasonable, doing parental alienation and restraining the children from seeing their father. Am I still fighting for nothing over a 50/50 custody? I have a good parental plan and always been very closed to my children and implicated in all their activities and developments. She will say that there is no way for any communication between us to make decisions for the children so she can have full custody but at their age, the children can express themselves and communicate their needs to each of their parent so communication between the two of us shouldn't be an issue? Any thoughts or ideas over my drastic story?
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