I found out my wife was having an affair back in September. She continued dating the other guy until February or March of this year. We tried to reconcile but I gave up because she was still in contact with and seeing the other guy.
I told her I was done with the marriage and I wanted a divorce. We have two boys together and I think their lives will be better when her and I are separate and not at each others throats all the time. Since I decided to give up on reconciling she holds A LOT of resentment towards me. I feel like she is always guilt tripping me and painting me as the bad guy to the kids which I think is very wrong as she shouldn't be involving them in that way.
Last week we had another argument which got way out of hand. We yelled and then I grabbed her by the shoulders and said, "Please let's stop this", to which she slapped me and pushed me. I know, I shouldn't have touched her at all. I decided to pack a bag and head to a family members to avoid the fight getting worse. After I leave she tells the other guy about the incident and he calls the police on me. The police called me and the officers and I met and talked. After hearing the whole history behind our marital problems they said they weren't going to charge me but should I mess up in the next 3 months I will be charged. The officer told me he sympathized and thought I was just a really frustrated person who slipped up...which is exactly what it was.
I left the house for 4 days because she wouldn't allow me back in the home. During that time, the other guy was sleeping there apparently which I thought was very wrong for our kids to see. Historically I have done a lot more with the kids in our marriage and I think the time I spent away was hard on here so she asked me to come back to the house until a better living arrangement was made.
Since I have been back (3 days now), she has tried to be nicer but then she blows up at me now and then and finger points etc etc. Last night we argued back and forth and then it got ugly. She punched me in the face several times, tore hair from the back of my head, tried kicking and punching me in the groin, and choked me several times. Basically I was worried if I even defended myself the police would be called again. I had to block her from punching my groin and I had to remove her hands from around my throat but other that I let her assault me. I have no plans on calling the police. Sure enough when the other guy heard about the incident he was ready to call the police on me for assault (not sure how this counts) but she talked him out of it.
She wants us living under the same roof, in separate rooms until the house is sold or other arrangements are made. I think this is a bad situation on the verge of getting worse. Have any of you ever been in such a situation and if so what did you do for living arrangments?
I can move out myself and visit the kids but she refuses to allow me to see them. Basically she wants me in the house because it gives her some control over me and I just can't stand that. Because of the hours she works I know she needs me to watch the kids but there is no give on her end. We used to talk about 50/50 with the kids and now she is threatening me with sole custody. I have tried to think ahead for what is best for our kids but this woman is very unreasonable, takes no responsibility for the affair (hell I take some blame), and is just out to get me out of spite. She really thinks she owns me!
I know this is a long rant but any advice about anything would be great. I am meeting with a counsellor by myself next week to deal with the stress and anger this is causing.
Thanks for ready!
I told her I was done with the marriage and I wanted a divorce. We have two boys together and I think their lives will be better when her and I are separate and not at each others throats all the time. Since I decided to give up on reconciling she holds A LOT of resentment towards me. I feel like she is always guilt tripping me and painting me as the bad guy to the kids which I think is very wrong as she shouldn't be involving them in that way.
Last week we had another argument which got way out of hand. We yelled and then I grabbed her by the shoulders and said, "Please let's stop this", to which she slapped me and pushed me. I know, I shouldn't have touched her at all. I decided to pack a bag and head to a family members to avoid the fight getting worse. After I leave she tells the other guy about the incident and he calls the police on me. The police called me and the officers and I met and talked. After hearing the whole history behind our marital problems they said they weren't going to charge me but should I mess up in the next 3 months I will be charged. The officer told me he sympathized and thought I was just a really frustrated person who slipped up...which is exactly what it was.
I left the house for 4 days because she wouldn't allow me back in the home. During that time, the other guy was sleeping there apparently which I thought was very wrong for our kids to see. Historically I have done a lot more with the kids in our marriage and I think the time I spent away was hard on here so she asked me to come back to the house until a better living arrangement was made.
Since I have been back (3 days now), she has tried to be nicer but then she blows up at me now and then and finger points etc etc. Last night we argued back and forth and then it got ugly. She punched me in the face several times, tore hair from the back of my head, tried kicking and punching me in the groin, and choked me several times. Basically I was worried if I even defended myself the police would be called again. I had to block her from punching my groin and I had to remove her hands from around my throat but other that I let her assault me. I have no plans on calling the police. Sure enough when the other guy heard about the incident he was ready to call the police on me for assault (not sure how this counts) but she talked him out of it.
She wants us living under the same roof, in separate rooms until the house is sold or other arrangements are made. I think this is a bad situation on the verge of getting worse. Have any of you ever been in such a situation and if so what did you do for living arrangments?
I can move out myself and visit the kids but she refuses to allow me to see them. Basically she wants me in the house because it gives her some control over me and I just can't stand that. Because of the hours she works I know she needs me to watch the kids but there is no give on her end. We used to talk about 50/50 with the kids and now she is threatening me with sole custody. I have tried to think ahead for what is best for our kids but this woman is very unreasonable, takes no responsibility for the affair (hell I take some blame), and is just out to get me out of spite. She really thinks she owns me!
I know this is a long rant but any advice about anything would be great. I am meeting with a counsellor by myself next week to deal with the stress and anger this is causing.
Thanks for ready!
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