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Is tutoring an extra curricular activity?

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  • Is tutoring an extra curricular activity?

    Is tutoring considered an extra curricular activity?

  • #2
    Sorry let me clarify, I am not asking in regards to paying the costs for it. I am asking because our court order states:

    The children shall be permitted to be involved in at least 1 activity at any given time beyond any educational extra curricular activity regardless of whose time the activity falls on. If there is an option on days of participation, the parties will decide together which day is best. The parties will work together to ensure the children attend all events and practices associated with such an activity.

    I have the kids every other week in the summer instead of every Thursday-Sunday and she is wanting me to do 3 days a week of tutoring. I do not want to do this as I do not think the tutor is doing a good job or qualified to help my kids with their learning disabilities.

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    • #3
      I have one of my children enrolled in tutoring by Sylvan learning and it's really making a difference. It's about 400/month. My lawyer says it qualifies as a s7 expense and therefor my STBX will have to pay towards it as well.

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      • #4
        This is a private tutor that comes to her house and to be honest in 2 years, I haven't seen a difference. I would be happy to pay towards a proper tutor but my ex is fixed on this one.

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        • #5
          is that the only clause in your order about section 7 items?

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          • #6
            Originally posted by trinton View Post
            is that the only clause in your order about section 7 items?
            It has the typical the parties will discuss and agree on any section 7 expenses. If the parties do not agree, the party registering the child will be responsible for the cost.

            That is it.

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            • #7
              Originally posted by freckles1234 View Post
              It has the typical the parties will discuss and agree on any section 7 expenses. If the parties do not agree, the party registering the child will be responsible for the cost.

              That is it.
              Did she discuss and did you agree?


              Originally posted by freckles1234 View Post
              The children shall be permitted to be involved in at least 1 activity at any given time beyond any educational extra curricular activity regardless of whose time the activity falls on. If there is an option on days of participation, the parties will decide together which day is best. The parties will work together to ensure the children attend all events and practices associated with such an activity.
              If you didn't agree, then I'm not sure if tutoring falls under the category of "at least one activity beyond any educational extra curricular activity". To me it seems that you must agree on educational extra curricular activity and anything beyond that you have no say in and must take child to events, i.e., hockey, swimming etc.

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              • #8
                Originally posted by trinton View Post
                Did she discuss and did you agree?




                If you didn't agree, then I'm not sure if tutoring falls under the category of "at least one activity beyond any educational extra curricular activity". To me it seems that you must agree on educational extra curricular activity and anything beyond that you have no say in and must take child to events, i.e., hockey, swimming etc.
                She is WELL aware that I will not be paying for it. That isn't even a question. I did not agree and she has tried 3 times to get me to pay and I have refused again letting her know that I may consider it should she switch to a tutor able to help mykids.

                I am 99% sure it is an educational extra curricular and therefore does not fall within our agreement. I actually put in the extra curricular clause because I have my kids in activities and my daughter wanted to do competitive cheer but practices are during her time. I do pay for all the extra curricular activities because she wanted the kids to do what she wants and no what they want. Ah well, I'd rather pay for them and my kids enjoy what they do then them having to do something they don't like. They are only young for so long, right?

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by freckles1234 View Post
                  I may consider it should she switch to a tutor able to help mykids.
                  You've essentially agreed that tutoring is necessary. Of course, this does not imply that you've agreed the tutor she has chosen is necessary nor does it imply that you must pay - she did not discuss and you did not agree.

                  Originally posted by freckles1234 View Post
                  I am 99% sure it is an educational extra curricular and therefore does not fall within our agreement.
                  Tutoring is for educational purposes.

                  Originally posted by freckles1234 View Post
                  I actually put in the extra curricular clause because I have my kids in activities and my daughter wanted to do competitive cheer but practices are during her time. I do pay for all the extra curricular activities because she wanted the kids to do what she wants and no what they want.
                  Then clearly that clause was regarding that specific activity - not tutoring.

                  Originally posted by freckles1234 View Post
                  Ah well, I'd rather pay for them and my kids enjoy what they do then them having to do something they don't like.
                  Absolutely. And refuse to pay for things that they don't enjoy, is not necessary for them, or is not benefiting them.


                  Originally posted by freckles1234 View Post
                  They are only young for so long, right?
                  Yes. And how they adjust in the early years is likely going to effect them in their teen and adult years.

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by trinton View Post
                    You've essentially agreed that tutoring is necessary. Of course, this does not imply that you've agreed the tutor she has chosen is necessary nor does it imply that you must pay - she did not discuss and you did not agree.



                    Tutoring is for educational purposes.



                    Then clearly that clause was regarding that specific activity - not tutoring.



                    Absolutely. And refuse to pay for things that they don't enjoy, is not necessary for them, or is not benefiting them.




                    Yes. And how they adjust in the early years is likely going to effect them in their teen and adult years.
                    I still cant figure out how to break this in to different quotes..

                    Yes tutoring is necessary. My 13 year old has dyslexia, my 12 year old is reading at a grade 2 level and my 9 year old can't spell simple words. My ex is also unable to put together a proper sentence. I help them when they are with me and work on it but I can only do so much. I would be more than happy to contribute to a tutor but not this one. She is unqualified for their issues, she does all their work for them and in 2 years there has been no improvements. I told the exact same thing to the judge and he told her if she wants me to pay for it then we have to agree on the tutor otherwise she can continue with this one and pay for her herself.

                    I will not agree nor pay for activities they do not like. My ex has gotten over that one now and just lets me register/pay for them. Like I said, I am ok with that. My daughter cheers and is in love with it, my son plays hockey and the other one plays soccer. (I also have my wife's daughter that figure skates competitively and her bio dad doesn't pay his support) Are they cheap? Nope but I work my tail off so they can do it and I don't bother asking for my ex to help. She has been on welfare for 12 years now and I don't expect that to change anytime soon.

                    My only concern is I don't want to be unable to do anything all summer because she wants her tutor to come to my house 3 days a week. Again, I would agree no problem if the tutor actually helped them but she does not.

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by freckles1234 View Post
                      I still cant figure out how to break this in to different quotes..
                      Use the opening QUOTE tags before the sentence, and the closing QUOTE tag at the end like so:




                      Originally posted by freckles1234 View Post
                      Yes tutoring is necessary. My 13 year old has dyslexia, my 12 year old is reading at a grade 2 level and my 9 year old can't spell simple words. My ex is also unable to put together a proper sentence. I help them when they are with me and work on it but I can only do so much. I would be more than happy to contribute to a tutor but not this one. She is unqualified for their issues, she does all their work for them and in 2 years there has been no improvements. I told the exact same thing to the judge and he told her if she wants me to pay for it then we have to agree on the tutor otherwise she can continue with this one and pay for her herself.
                      She CANNOT tell you what to do or what not to do on your holidays, except for tell you to take them to hockey,swimming, etc on your time. So you simply take your kids for your time and do whatever the hell you please with them.

                      Why don't you put together a list of tutors that you think would be of help and give that to her ? I am sure you could teach your kids more on your own than any tutor would. Tutor has clearly been doing jack all but collecting paychecks for the last 2 years. Or instead, why don't you hire your own tutor for when you have the kids ?

                      Originally posted by freckles1234 View Post
                      I will not agree nor pay for activities they do not like. My ex has gotten over that one now and just lets me register/pay for them. Like I said, I am ok with that. My daughter cheers and is in love with it, my son plays hockey and the other one plays soccer. (I also have my wife's daughter that figure skates competitively and her bio dad doesn't pay his support) Are they cheap? Nope but I work my tail off so they can do it and I don't bother asking for my ex to help. She has been on welfare for 12 years now and I don't expect that to change anytime soon.
                      See my comment above.

                      Originally posted by freckles1234 View Post
                      My only concern is I don't want to be unable to do anything all summer because she wants her tutor to come to my house 3 days a week. Again, I would agree no problem if the tutor actually helped them but she does not.
                      Just let her know you haven't seen any improvement, and propose a list of new tutors to her (preferably ones that specialize in those areas). If she doesn't agree then you could motion it. or hire your own tutor on your time whatever convenient to you. 3 days a week sounds a bit much - won't be long before your kids lose interest in school.

                      Of course, wait to see what others have to say before you make any decisions.

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