As I look at chalking up another year since my divorce I am reminded of how dreadful and bleak things looked back in Winter of 2008/2009. At that time I was in a pretty bad situation, living day-by-day in fear for my personal safety and the unknown. I would have just finished up the dishes from yet another monstrously stressful week of entertaining my ex's large family. It was a physically and mentally draining time as I had just had a complete hysterectomy at the end of November. Little did I know then that the next two weeks would be filled with terror and many calls to the police for protection.
I recall the first time I met with my lawyer. He told me to put away as much money as I could put my hands on. I didn't follow his advice as I thought it naive because, as a partner in a business, I was responsible for payroll and bills. That was my first mistake. I didn't take care of "me" first. 6 months later I was financially wiped out. Ex, with the help of his g/f and family, assisted him in depleting all of our assets. Had it not been for the compassion and generosity of friends I would not have been able to survive my ex's promise "you will be like a bag-woman in the streets."
I recall asking a good friend, who had gone through a terrible divorce, how long it took him before he felt "normal" again. He responded that it was 7 years.
This year will mark the 7th year for me. I have made major life changes. These changes were not easy but I have to say that with each new year since separation I discovered self-worth and renewed self-confidence. I do feel optimistic about the future.
I hope those of you who are going through the lousy part of separation/divorce can find some happiness in 2016. I am going to make 1 resolution for the New Year and that is that I am going to be extra good to myself without any regret or guilt.
I recall the first time I met with my lawyer. He told me to put away as much money as I could put my hands on. I didn't follow his advice as I thought it naive because, as a partner in a business, I was responsible for payroll and bills. That was my first mistake. I didn't take care of "me" first. 6 months later I was financially wiped out. Ex, with the help of his g/f and family, assisted him in depleting all of our assets. Had it not been for the compassion and generosity of friends I would not have been able to survive my ex's promise "you will be like a bag-woman in the streets."
I recall asking a good friend, who had gone through a terrible divorce, how long it took him before he felt "normal" again. He responded that it was 7 years.
This year will mark the 7th year for me. I have made major life changes. These changes were not easy but I have to say that with each new year since separation I discovered self-worth and renewed self-confidence. I do feel optimistic about the future.
I hope those of you who are going through the lousy part of separation/divorce can find some happiness in 2016. I am going to make 1 resolution for the New Year and that is that I am going to be extra good to myself without any regret or guilt.
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