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  • Mediate child support? Is this recommended?

    My ex is refusing to pay his child support unless I either agree to mediate the amount or go in front of a judge.
    He is 2 months without payment.
    In March he refused to pay unless I agreed to mediation, and only paid after I sent a lawyer letter. He was also 6 months behind in paying the increase according to the tables, and paid this at that time.
    I work full time and run a small business part time. It's network marketing, it doesn't add a lot to my income, reduces it some due to expenses. In the future I will be earning more.
    While I was initially willing to sit at a table with him, his deliberate refusal to pay, attempt to blackmail me to the table and now refusal to pay again is not indicative of the ability to negotiate.

    I know CS is not negotiable normally, however with this side business I don't know what a judge would say. I have been upfront and provided him with my full tax papers which my small business income and expenses are included in. The business is not separate yet.
    Thanks for the feedback.

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  • #2
    Are you off set?

    Child support is non negotiable under normal circumstances. If youre offset and not including your side income you could possibly mediate including it after six months or "imputing" an income for it.

    If he pays full table then theres no need for mediation. He pays based on his income.

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    • #3
      Yes we are offset. He refused to pay an increase. Mediation has been discussed, but I am unsure whether we should, based on it being the right of the child.

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      • #4
        The thing is that currently my line 150 is less when I include the income. Because of start up costs and training and the fact that I am only part time my deductions actually reduce line 150.
        I was willing to negotiate to somewhere between what it would be if only going off my day job income and the reduced line 150. I spoke to a lawyer and she said that the only thing I should not be deducting for this calculation was my cell phone bill.

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        • #5
          What exactly is he disputing? He cant bargain down child support. You could offer to include your additional income but how much of a difference is that?

          Hes going to spend probably $2000 on mediation to save himself what? $500?

          You need to give a few more details like ballpark amount he wants it reduced to, what impact your additional income has, his reasons for reducing etc.

          Your ex is high maintenance and combative if I recall? Wasnt there an order made? Was it on consent? How long has it been for this cs amount? Was your recent tax file a trigger to change?

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          • #6
            We've had 2 mediation agreements since our last court order. On that one I paid the offset (on time every time). So it can't be enforced until I make the change.
            Mediation is being paid for by CAS.
            After my intake Monday I will consider sending him an offer. I probably only earned an additional 4000 last year but I spent probably almost 8000 as I did a lot of training for my certifications and fees etc. So at this point he's really arguing about $50- 80 a month depending where the line is drawn (how much income and how much deductions are allowed).

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            • #7
              He wants me to pay my offset at my full time wages and income. With no deductions considered. I doubt a judge would go with that.

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              • #8
                Originally posted by billiechic View Post
                He wants me to pay my offset at my full time wages and income. With no deductions considered. I doubt a judge would go with that.

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                I guess it would depend what the deductions are for... I know you mentioned cell phone not deducting but depending what the other deductions are he may have a case to add a percentage back.

                Like training fees I'm not sure if that would be an allowable deduction for CS purposes as it's kind of the same as going to school and one wouldn't be able to deduct school expenses to reduce their line 150... I would certainly look into cases regarding self employment income and what deductions are allowed for CS purposes and which ones are added back. But the reality is he is arguing over such a small amount hardly seems worth it for either of you.


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                • #9
                  I would say that 2/3 of the deductions are for training directly for certification. The rest are business expenses for travel, overhead etc.
                  I certainly get that not all of it would be deducted.
                  I really just want to know if this is an issue to mediate or if I should hear the judges recommendations on it first. We will end up back with a motion even if it is just to make the new mediated agreements an order

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                  • #10
                    When I read the title of the post, I thought for sure there was no way CS could ever be mediated, since the table system is pretty cut and dried. What you're really mediating is the calculation of your income though.

                    Originally posted by Berner_Faith View Post
                    Like training fees I'm not sure if that would be an allowable deduction for CS purposes as it's kind of the same as going to school and one wouldn't be able to deduct school expenses to reduce their line 150... I would certainly look into cases regarding self employment income and what deductions are allowed for CS purposes and which ones are added back. But the reality is he is arguing over such a small amount hardly seems worth it for either of you.
                    I have to agree with this. If you went to school and worked minimum wage, you'd be going by your line 150. You would not get to subtract your tuition. Say it was law school and you expected to make big $$ after you graduated. You would still not deduct your tuition or your bar exam fees and so on. Even on the tax return that goes in a different place than line 150.

                    Originally posted by billiechic View Post
                    I would say that 2/3 of the deductions are for training directly for certification. The rest are business expenses for travel, overhead etc.
                    I certainly get that not all of it would be deducted.
                    I really just want to know if this is an issue to mediate or if I should hear the judges recommendations on it first. We will end up back with a motion even if it is just to make the new mediated agreements an order
                    A good strategy may be to show willingness to go to mediation, and then let him negotiate you away from declaring the fees for training and certification. He'll think he's won and you save on court fees for something you may likely lose.

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                    • #11
                      are you guys seriously fighting over $50 - $80 a month ?

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                      • #12
                        He is. And has now refused to pay anything for 2 months. I didn't bother him about not paying the increase until he told me he would stop paying anything at all unless I went to mediation. The increase is $80/month based on his income going up. Mine went down only 800 in 2015.

                        Like I have already said, I am open to figuring out where my business income and deductions fit in. However withholding his full child support is not the way to do it. That is a manipulative tactic and not looking toward solution.
                        I just want to know if this is an issue we should mediate (given it is the child's right) or whether it is best to put in front of the judge.



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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by billiechic View Post
                          He is. And has now refused to pay anything for 2 months. I didn't bother him about not paying the increase until he told me he would stop paying anything at all unless I went to mediation. The increase is $80/month based on his income going up. Mine went down only 800 in 2015.

                          Like I have already said, I am open to figuring out where my business income and deductions fit in. However withholding his full child support is not the way to do it. That is a manipulative tactic and not looking toward solution.
                          I just want to know if this is an issue we should mediate (given it is the child's right) or whether it is best to put in front of the judge.



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                          you're not obliged to follow guidelines under section 9. the guidelines are only guidelines. go to mediation and agree on 30$ increase or even no increase. 50-80$ a month isn't worth going to court for. $50_80 a month isn't even a significant material change in circumstances. judge will laugh you out of court for seeking an extra $50 a month from family court. if he stopped paying all together then that might be a material change.

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                          • #14
                            He has stopped paying altogether. I've said that several times. He actually wrote me both emails and texts saying he refused to pay until in front of the judge.
                            And there is a material change. Our last court order has me paying him 5 years ago. My income has been below his for 4 years now.

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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by billiechic View Post
                              He has stopped paying altogether. I've said that several times. He actually wrote me both emails and texts saying he refused to pay until in front of the judge.
                              And there is a material change. Our last court order has me paying him 5 years ago. My income has been below his for 4 years now.

                              Sent from my SM-G920W8 using Tapatalk
                              then he can ask to impute your highest income.

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