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Good afternoon everyone...
I'm a 39 year old guy who has been married for 17.5 years. Met my wife when I was 18 and she was 32 at the time. I was in trouble with the law and she helped me get through some very challenging times.
I have two boys, 17 and 15.
As you may have guessed, it hasn't been a good marriage. We've always had issues being on the same page and sharring common interests. But feeling a strong sense of duty to be there for the boys and because I owed it to her, I stuck it through.
Now, I've actually been wanting to leave for the last 3+ years but, there's always been an excuse to not leave. Plus, whenever the topic comes up, she panics and gets very threatening. I'm having to ender a lot of mental abuse from her now that I've made it know that I am serious about this she has taken to accusing me of having an affair, apparently it's the only reason why I would want to leave. She is suspicious of everything I do... I won't go into details but suffice it to say, they are ridiculous accusations. I don't have someone else lying in wait and I have never cheated on her.
Anyway, I did go and see a lawyer last year to see what my options were and after a long year of contemplation and self-coaching I do believe I am ready. I need to do something before I lose my sanity.
One of my biggest fears obviously is money. She was a stay at home mom for 17 years and just this year went back to work part time making $13/hour. I make around 90k. Based on what I have seen, I am really worried there will be enough money left for me to live on. I know I won't live like a king, I plan to rent a 2 bedroom apartment for around $1000 per month, I've accepted that.
My question to the community is this, according to the lawyer I spoke to last year, I should only be paying spousal support for 6-12 months... now based on the research I have done, I think he was full of crap. Based on this, I've been planning on letting her keep the house (there is over 200k equity there) in exchange for no spousal support from me at all. Do you think that will fly? Would a judge allow that were she to agree?
Sorry if I am all over the place. As I'm sure most of you know, this feels like the most difficult thing I have ever had to do and I'm still looking for the courage to actually go through with it. Thanks for listening.
Dan
I'm a 39 year old guy who has been married for 17.5 years. Met my wife when I was 18 and she was 32 at the time. I was in trouble with the law and she helped me get through some very challenging times.
I have two boys, 17 and 15.
As you may have guessed, it hasn't been a good marriage. We've always had issues being on the same page and sharring common interests. But feeling a strong sense of duty to be there for the boys and because I owed it to her, I stuck it through.
Now, I've actually been wanting to leave for the last 3+ years but, there's always been an excuse to not leave. Plus, whenever the topic comes up, she panics and gets very threatening. I'm having to ender a lot of mental abuse from her now that I've made it know that I am serious about this she has taken to accusing me of having an affair, apparently it's the only reason why I would want to leave. She is suspicious of everything I do... I won't go into details but suffice it to say, they are ridiculous accusations. I don't have someone else lying in wait and I have never cheated on her.
Anyway, I did go and see a lawyer last year to see what my options were and after a long year of contemplation and self-coaching I do believe I am ready. I need to do something before I lose my sanity.
One of my biggest fears obviously is money. She was a stay at home mom for 17 years and just this year went back to work part time making $13/hour. I make around 90k. Based on what I have seen, I am really worried there will be enough money left for me to live on. I know I won't live like a king, I plan to rent a 2 bedroom apartment for around $1000 per month, I've accepted that.
My question to the community is this, according to the lawyer I spoke to last year, I should only be paying spousal support for 6-12 months... now based on the research I have done, I think he was full of crap. Based on this, I've been planning on letting her keep the house (there is over 200k equity there) in exchange for no spousal support from me at all. Do you think that will fly? Would a judge allow that were she to agree?
Sorry if I am all over the place. As I'm sure most of you know, this feels like the most difficult thing I have ever had to do and I'm still looking for the courage to actually go through with it. Thanks for listening.
Dan
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