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  • Should I respond to affidavit?

    My husband recently filed for custody of his daughter after 6 yrs of his ex playing games with his access to his daughter. He received her response of which she offers even less time than he already has with a request for a restraining order against me. I have had minimal contact with her because I know she doesn't like me. Along with her response is a 49 paragraph affidavit of which 75% is bashing me, accusing me of abuse, making untrue statements about my ex and my relationship with him as well as my daughters, etc.

    I was thinking of filing an affidavit in response to hers quite simply stating that I am shocked by the allegations, that I have and always will respect that she is my step-daughters mother, expressing my love for my step-daughter and making the point that this court case is in fact about my step-daughter, not me and my hope that both sides can come to a resolution that best serves my step-daughter.

    I know judges aren't stupid and hope that the one assigned to this case can see the affidavit for what it is but I wonder if since she has brought me into the forefront of the case that I should respond.

    Any advice would be extremely helpful.

  • #2
    If an affidavit isn't challenged then it will be accepted as true.

    Comment


    • #3
      Do I need to provide an explaination or rebutal to every accusation or is it sufficient to say that I am shocked by them?

      Comment


      • #4
        Do you think you will be better off being vague and general, or specific? Sorry, being specific is always going to be better.

        I'm not saying that the judge will believe it, but why take chances? Write in a professional, logical manner, avoid counter accusations.

        If some the instances can be refuted factually, like for example if you can show you were out of town that day, this will damage her credibility. Again, these kind of affidavits don't carry a lot of weight, and it is a PITA, but you are better off doing a good job with everything you submit, being clear, factual, and organized. This is what gives weight and credibility to your side.

        Comment


        • #5
          So her affidavit was a response to my husbands affidavit. should he respond to any allegations from her in a second affidavit? This could go on forever.

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by scarycheri View Post
            So her affidavit was a response to my husbands affidavit. should he respond to any allegations from her in a second affidavit? This could go on forever.
            No it's not.

            RULE 14

            RESTRICTIONS ON EVIDENCE

            (20) The following restrictions apply to evidence for use on a motion, unless the court orders otherwise:
            1. The party making the motion shall serve all the evidence in support of the motion with the notice of motion.
            2. The party responding to the motion shall then serve all the evidence in response.
            3. The party making the motion may then serve evidence replying to any new matters raised by the evidence served by the party responding to the motion.
            4. No other evidence may be used. O. Reg. 114/99, r. 14 (20).
            But keep in mind you did not say under what rule your husband filed.

            Comment


            • #7
              Read up on the definition of CRITICAL THINKING before you form any response. While this all feels very personal, do your best not to take it personally. Take the high road on this without fail - whether it's in your husband's words or your own.

              Keep it as much "to the point" as possible. Judges do not want to go through pages and pages of blather. Point form, factual. No emotion.

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by hadenough View Post
                No emotion.

                This is exactly why a lawyer is a good choice for most of us. It's very hard to think critically when one is in the midst of all the emotional trauma involved in divorce/custody proceedings.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Once upon a time, I responded emotionally to much of the bs being flung my way. I see now, (yes it took a while) that this was a knee-jerk reaction on my part and also perfectly natural.. But... I finally concluded that emotional reactions are a complete waste of time and energy (money too).

                  Something to say? Prove it. "Lies have speed. The truth has endurance" (I don't remember who first said that.) To my way of thinking: say something and back it up, or STFU. A bit harsh? Maybe. But I've got my emotional responses well 'in check' now.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Every time I get legal documents I read them after the kids are gone to bed .Then I read and pace at the same time,sounding like a Tourettes sufferer.
                    Then I make points of the main falsehoods.Just jot them down in bulleted form.Then point by point I get factual evidence to disprove the lie.Nice and neat.No emotion.No opinion .Just cold hard truth and nothing but.I even have been known to pre-empt certain bullshitcullar paths he seems to be steering for and gather evidence and present it.Wont deny all the lies at once but when you lay waste to the biggies and prove them false it will wreck havoc with credibility.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      By all means reply. If you can dispute the dates/times/ etc with hard evidence, then do so.

                      Otherwise reply basically like: I disputecan paragraphs 1,2...45 as complete falsehoods, there has never been any abuse of the children while under my households care, as shown by the complete lack of evidence provided to substantiate these allegations. As ex has provided no police file numbers, no cps reports, and there is no involvement from any of these departments, I reject these allegations as baseless and malicious attempts to manipulate the court.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        NB Dad, you must have been reading my mind. I spent 6 hours struggling to respond to this affidavit yesterday and couldn't sleep last night. I kept in mind all the advice on here I was given about keeping emotions out of it and to think critically. I am being accused of:

                        being envious of this womans career
                        I have hated her from the first time I met her
                        That I am asking for custody so that I can save to buy a house
                        that I yell at my husband
                        spanked her daughter 6 yrs ago
                        sent her to her room.
                        subject her to food and animals she is allergic to and dope her up on meds
                        hide the phones so she cant call her mom
                        I throw temper tantrums
                        I don't encourage my daughters relationship with her dad
                        That I sought out her bf's ex to be freinds with her and control things
                        That I live in subsidized housing in a bad neighbourhood
                        She belittled my job
                        That I was drunk at the childs birthday party
                        Accuses my daughter of being violent with her child
                        Claims my husband moved in with me after one month of dating
                        I don't encourage my husband to pay child support
                        That my SD is disrespectful to me and hates me
                        That I bad mouth her to her daughter

                        This is just a samplingn of the crap in this affidavit. Out of 49 paragraphs in her affiadivt there are 40 with this garbage. Some of it is repetative. She is seeking a restraining order against me because she feels that I am harassing her through my husband by penning his correspondence to her.

                        As I was going through each accusation I was thinking "Do I really have to respond to this nonsense?". I feel like I am in high school and being bullied by a mean girl.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          I differ from the other posters. I do not think you should respond to your husband's ex-wife's affidavit. It is my opinion that it is up to your husband to respond to his ex's affidavit.

                          Sometimes when you respond to something it give it credibility. Your husband should respond and simply state "irrelevant" beside the slanderous statements and leave it at that.

                          I think that responding is exactly what she wants you to do. I wouldn't oblige.
                          Last edited by arabian; 10-08-2012, 10:21 AM. Reason: typo

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            I think your partner and I share the same ex. The largest responding document I ever filed was over 60 pages. I went line by line and rebutted EVERY damn allegation she put into the thing with corresponding exhibit evidence.

                            In any event, your husband needs to respond. YOU don't:

                            being envious of this womans career
                            I reject this accusation as false, notwithstanding that this is not relevant to the matter before the courts.

                            I have hated her from the first time I met her
                            My wife is, was, and remains neutral towards Ms. %ex%. Where possible we have attempted to work WITH her in the best interests of the children. As show by the documentation attached as Exhibit ___. (if you have ever offered to step in and take the kids for her, etc. attach that email chain...you hate her so much you offered to watch the kids for her amirite? )

                            That I am asking for custody so that I can save to buy a house
                            This statement is totally untrue. As the court is no doubt aware, raising children is expensive and it's MORE expensive to maintain a 50-50 shared arrangement. If I were only interested in money, I would not be requesting additional time.

                            that I yell at my husband
                            Not relevant to the matter at hand. As shown by the lack of police file reports, CAS files, etc this is not now, nor ever has been an issue in my household.

                            spanked her daughter 6 yrs ago
                            Not relevant to the matter before the courts. If there is concern of this nature I actively encourage ms. %ex% to pursue through proper channels. (ie. CAS/Local Law enforcement). My wife has not ever spanked $child, even though Section 43 of the Criminal Code would allow it if were ever necessary.

                            sent her to her room.
                            I accept this statement as true. If $child is misbehaving, there are clear consequences to her actions and we respond in an age appropriate fashion.

                            subject her to food and animals she is allergic to and dope her up on meds
                            Has the child been seen by an allergist? Do you have a list of things she is allergic to? Attach that list as exhibit evidence. We have (insert pet here) As show by the list of allergens that $child is sensitive towards (attached as exhibit ___) this animal is not one she is allergic to. (or if it is, outline how you deal with the pet appropriately while the child is in your care).

                            hide the phones so she cant call her mom
                            This statement is false. As show by the photos in exhibit ___, my phone is mounted on the wall and is a corded phone. It is impossible to remove in a manner consistent with the allegation without incurring substantial damage to the wall.

                            I throw temper tantrums
                            This is a false statement. There is no exhibit evidence from $ex to substantiate this malicious allegation.

                            I don't encourage my daughters relationship with her dad
                            As shown by email chains (Exhibits __,__ and __) this is a false statement.

                            That I was drunk at the childs birthday party
                            Accuses my daughter of being violent with her child
                            repeat the false statement/encourage use of proper channels. (CAS/etc) is these are concerns.

                            Claims my husband moved in with me after one month of dating
                            Respond with the date you moved in together and show it was longer. OR if it wasn't, basically respond: This is a true statement, we moved in together asI was under extreme financial duress stemming from %ex's% (Clearing out the bank accounts, changing the locks, having him removed from the home under a false DV charge, etc)

                            I don't encourage my husband to pay child support
                            This is a false statement. I have paid my child support regularly. Proof of payments to date are attached as exhibit ____.

                            That my SD is disrespectful to me and hates me
                            This statement is false. I have never witnessed %child% behaving in this manner with my wife. If %ex% truly believes this, then I would request the court ordered family counselling as a remedy to investigate the root of the issue and assist in facilitating an amicable relationship for all parties on a go forward basis. Cost to be split pro rata to income.

                            That I bad mouth her to her daughter
                            This is a false statement. As a remedy I would request the court include a clause that neither party shall talk in an untoward fashion about the other, nor allow others to do so in their presence, while $child is in their home.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              NBDad has the right idea. It is pretty obvious that your husband's ex is trying to drag you into the courtroom. You'd be best to back up your husband by amassing supporting documentation for his responses. Aside from that stay out of the firing line. Remember this is your husband's ex - not yours.

                              If you follow the tone that NBDad has recommended your husband's response will be much more effective and it really makes the ex look like a twisted nut-case. Meanwhile you have maintained some dignity.

                              Comment

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