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  • Long Weekend Access

    I could give you the long version or the short version here so I am going for medium sized.

    My b/f has his children on this coming long weekend. He reminded the ex that it was a long weekend and he would be having the kids until the Monday. The court order contains no specifics as to whether or not he keeps them the extra day over the weekend. His lawyer said it was assumed that he would get them for that day but she seems to be saying otherwise.

    Does anyone know something more concrete IRT this?

  • #2
    what does the court order say. If it says he gets them from say Friday to Sunday then that is the specific days that he gets them no matter if it is a long weekend or not. That is his access time and she can argue that. Remember that in law nothing can be assumed, it has to be clear and concise. Long weekend visitation etc should have been put in the original court order. She is probably wanting to follow it to the letter so that it remains the same. Once the parties start to change things without changing the court order, it seems to end up one big mess.

    That being said, IMHO the Cp should allow the NCP to have the extra day on the long weekends or at least a few of the long weekends.

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by standing on the sidelines View Post
      ...
      That being said, IMHO the Cp should allow the NCP to have the extra day on the long weekends or at least a few of the long weekends.

      I couldn't agree more. She needs to relax and be reasonable. Following the court order to the exact wording is for unreasonable people, there are always exceptions that reasonably should be allowed. Of course weekend access includes long weekends, she is being selfish and difficult with no benifit to anyone.

      Comment


      • #4
        In this, like so many other cases that reach this stage, being reasonable no longer applies. She is scheduling all day events during his access time, cutting phone calls short, etc. I could go on, but most here know how these things go.

        This is an interim order, and a return to court seems inevitable. She is angry about this, and doing all she can to cause grief.

        In my own case, we specifically asked the lawyer about this when the order was being drawn up, and he said 'it goes without saying that if it is a long week-end...'. I have followed this, and allowed my ex to keep our children for the extra day, but my bf's ex is making demands before allowing the same courtesy. I was hoping there was some case law, etc surrounding this issue.

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by billm View Post
          I couldn't agree more. She needs to relax and be reasonable. Following the court order to the exact wording is for unreasonable people, there are always exceptions that reasonably should be allowed. Of course weekend access includes long weekends, she is being selfish and difficult with no benifit to anyone.
          LOL at 'she needs to relax'

          Reasonable people relax and give things thought.

          Comment


          • #6
            CanLII - 1994 CanLII 4972 (SK Q.B.)

            CanLII - 2002 ABQB 1096 (CanLII)

            CanLII - 1996 CanLII 6698 (SK Q.B.)

            CanLII - 2008 SKQB 397 (CanLII)

            CanLII - 1999 ABQB 221 (CanLII)

            CanLII - 2005 BCSC 576 (CanLII)

            CanLII - 2001 MBQB 250 (CanLII)

            CanLII - 2008 ONCJ 672 (CanLII)

            The courts have consistently ruled that an access weekend includes the extra day for the long weekend. Again, one of those things that's obvious to reasonable people but unfortunately not so obvious to others. Good luck!

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by time2lookahead View Post
              LOL at 'she needs to relax.' Reasonable people relax and give things thought.
              So very true. Unreasonable people (such as those thanks to whom many of us are here seeking advice) are those that make huge deals of every little thing and who cause more problems than not.

              Time2lookahead, it is reasonable to expect that an access weekend includes the 24 or 48 hours of a long weekend. Unless there is a specific order against that, I would not think a judge would go against your boyfriend if he kept his child(ren) for the extra day.

              Comment


              • #8
                Thank you all so very much. I cannot begin to describe the totally unreasonable issues the ex in this matter has and the only only ones who are hurting over it all are his and her beautiful children.

                I hope to see a light soon at the end of this tunnel but it doesn't look like it will be anytime soon.

                As far as reasonable goes....she is not...last year..she denied him access on Father's Day.

                Comment


                • #9
                  You should think about seeking a variance on the court order to have these things specifically defined...if she is being unreasonable. Then they are defined and there is no question...avoid conflict down the line. Just a suggestion. Good luck...

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    In most interim or general settlement orders, the language used in reference to long weekends usually refers to weekends and holidays. Holidays are usually split equally between the parents on a even/odd year switch.
                    As a custodial parent,I would prefer that the pick-up time on long weekends is bumped up an hour so my daughter can smoothly settle back into the routine as it's on a school night. Unfortunatly, my divorce was extremely difficult and I decided to forego arguing over the small stuff
                    Her own lawyer will tell her the court will not back her on this issue.
                    Why not suggest having the kids back on the holiday Monday at 4 or 5 p.m. in order to facilitate a smoother school night routine?
                    If she turns that down and you do go to court over it, you will appear to be considerate with the kids best interests in mind. If she accepts this point, it may set a precedent with your negotiations.
                    My daughter has an extremely tough time settling in after an access weekend. Unlike many other hands on parents who co-parent, her father still hasn't quite got the hang of it. Divorce is difficult for kids as it is without adding the difficulty of transferring from one house to another . Kids who come home after a weekend away, have to finish homework,have showers,get their stuff together for school and decompress. Having enough time on Sunday or Monday is really important for them. As they get older and more independent, the access schedule can change and become more flexible.
                    The best of luck, let us know how it works out.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Thanks responsiblemom! It is so brutal how contentious and issue these holiday weekends and even Christmas have become. The interim order says nothing much about anything other than the every other weekend thing, which is a whole other issue. The ex has said that she feels she is being more than reasonable when she offered 3 extra days over Christmas, not an even split, and now she is demanding that the only way she will "allow" us to have the children is if we confirm that we will take them to something she arranged without consultation, which also is another issue....


                      OH and doingmybest, we did try to go for a variance but the ex's lawyer argued that we could not vary an interim order, and the judge agreed.

                      Anyways....we are working on it and will let all know how it plays out in the end. Thank you all once again for all the great advice.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Well you will just not guess this one....she planned 2 activities for the eldest son to go to this coming weekend and when we would not commit to taking him to both,as we already had plans prior to her informing us what WE were doing with the child, she had her lawyer write a letter saying, once again, father is a big jerk. We found out today eldest son will not be coming this weekend...it is his choice.

                        I am stunned to say the least.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by time2lookahead View Post
                          Well you will just not guess this one....she planned 2 activities for the eldest son to go to this coming weekend and when we would not commit to taking him to both,as we already had plans prior to her informing us what WE were doing with the child, she had her lawyer write a letter saying, once again, father is a big jerk. We found out today eldest son will not be coming this weekend...it is his choice.

                          I am stunned to say the least.
                          Wow, I'm so sorry to hear that. The nerve of some people, geez!

                          Sadly enough, I think that my husband and I will be in your shoes one day, when his son becomes older and will be given decision power by his mom about whether or not he wants to stay or go.

                          My heart goes out to you.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            I am in a similar situation and it is heartbreaking to have the older children cave into the dominant parent who is pressuring them. Kids try to avoid conflict and will take the easiest road if it means they will obtain approval from the parent who is manipulating the non-custodial parent's time.

                            We just got the news that my partner's two kids are not coming for this long weekend either.

                            It has happened alot more since they got a little older too.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              It is so sad to see so many people in a similar situation. Thank you all for your shared stories and support. This child is 12 and I just see the future as being bleak. I hope for all of us somehow something turns it around for all of the children.

                              Comment

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