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  • Thank God I found this Site.

    Hello, all:

    Another 'newbie' on this Forum that needs some clarification/help on my situation.

    Earlier this year, I made Application for a Simple Divorce (short-term marriage, no children). Spouse is American and has always lived in the U.S. She never did actually move to my home in Canada (just briefly visited whenever she felt like it and then would always take off back to the U.S.). Needless to say, there was endless conflicts as how can you have a marriage when you are the only person there? At any rate, Application was made, properly served, etc., etc., and appropriate documents filed with the Court. The spouse did not respond with an Answer within the 30 day period but then tried to submit an Answer and Claim about 3 weeks after the deadline. It's my understanding that the Court cannot accept this Answer as it was filed way too late. However, in her answer, there are all kinds of wild accusations that have absolutely no validity whatsoever!!!

    My phone call to the Court the other morning resulted in me being told that the Divorce Order had been signed by the Judge about 2 weeks ago and I should get it in the mail this week.

    Is there any possibility that paperwork she tried to submit to the Court would even to added to the file or somehow affect the Order already made? I don't have a clue what to do at this point.

    Another question, can a Spouse serve the Answer or Reply to the other spouse themselves? It was my belief the serving of documents could NOT be done by one of the parties involved in the action.

    Please comment ASAP as it's now day 3 since the late Answer attempt.
    Thank you.

  • #2
    The judge has signed your divorce order, you are divorced. Its done. What was the nature of her crazy claims? Is she seeking an equalization settlement or support? If any other issues were added to the divorce order it would have been contested not simple and you would know and reply and have a trial.

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by Mess View Post
      The judge has signed your divorce order, you are divorced. Its done. What was the nature of her crazy claims? Is she seeking an equalization settlement or support? If any other issues were added to the divorce order it would have been contested not simple and you would know and reply and have a trial.
      Many people don't seem to know that they can obtain a divorce without resolving all the financial and child custody issues of their divorce case. This process is known as "severing a divorce from the corollary issues."

      Ontario divorce and family law

      No children so the divorce order could be served without resolving all the issues of the divorce.

      Comment


      • #4
        Thank you for such a prompt response.

        Yes, she is making a claim for 50% of my house, pensions, spousal support (we've been separated for 3-1/2 years with no request for support).

        She also seems to think that the date we first casually met each other (18 years ago) is valid in some way. She also claims we lived together for 5 years prior to marriage -- not true -- we dated and I would visit her at her place in the U.S. and she would visit me at my place in Ontario. She (in print) says I committed a crime -- that's news to me. She also states excessive drinking (hard to be drinking when I was working 2 jobs and one involves truck driving). Also accuses me of cheating on her (again, not true -- just in her own mind). Even though she has never 'lived' in Ontario for more than 1 or 2 weeks at a time, she can't understand why she isn't entitled to OHIP, legal aid, etc. In hindsight, that's all she was after -- a Canadian meal-ticket!
        She also seems to be of the opinion "Canada recognizes wife as husband's agent (authorized to act on his behalf)". Again, that's news to me -- even married people have privacy rights. I swear if she has a pimple on her butt, it is somehow my fault. Now she's just being spiteful because in her own twisted little mind, she thinks if still 'legally married' to me, she is somehow 'entitled' to Canadian benefits.

        I bought my home in Ontario 5 years prior to our so-called marriage. She retained her residence in the U.S. throughout the duration and still lives there. Her monthly rent is unbelievably low as the property is owned by her family. As she did not work until after the last and final time she ran back to the U.S. (3-1/2 years) ago, I was the only one paying for MY house and MY expenses. She never contributed one dime!!! In the past 3 years, I've had worked multiple jobs (due to economic downturn) in order to save my house and try to get by. All the neighbours around my house even know she was never here and are totally astounded at these recent events wondering what planet she's from!!

        She said she filed her answer at the Court the other day (however, it was well past the time limit and the Divorce Order was already signed by a Judge).
        Would her 'answer' even have been accepted by the Court Clerk or would they have just shown her to the door. Any idea what I can expect to have to deal with now?? Would she have to make a new submission for her outrageous allegations and claims?? It's quite a challenge to get any answers when I'm at work during most people's office hours and even have to drive out-of-town in my work --sometimes for several days -- I'm worried about not being home and unable to promptly reply to any legal procedure thereby losing any legal right.

        Actually, the "important facts that form the legal basis for my position in paragrah 2" on her Answer consists of a list of 29 items!!!! Basically, it's just a list of whining complaints that would lead anyone to divorce. I.E., "deliberate alienation" (what's that) and "never acknowledged I had surgery and was hospitalized" (that's since we've been separated -- how would I know), "never responded to my txts, letters, or phone calls" (yeah, that's right -- didn't want anything to do with her).

        Sorry to ramble on, but it's quite overwhelming at this point. All I want is to finally be free of this manipulative witch and get on with my life. Even my mother, who is 83 and partially disabled, is terribly stressed out about this and hopefully it won't adversely affect her health. My own family is very close and none of them can believe what's she's trying to scam!! Any suggestions or ideas on what my position is or should be?

        Maybe I should add she also was waiting at my house when I got home from work the other day and she removed some things from the house. I really don't have a problem with what she took other than it seems like inappropriate behaviour to me instead of doing things reasonably.

        Again, thank you.
        Last edited by castaway; 07-30-2012, 01:05 PM. Reason: typos

        Comment


        • #5
          change your locks immediately.

          "pimple on her ass" is probably some desperado lawyer she hired in the US.

          She didn't file her objection in time. I believe, however, that a person has 30 days to object after day judge signs order to appeal. Then there is a process where she would have to go to appeals court.

          I'd do nothing. Let her rack up her legal bills trying to figure out which court to file what where.

          Change your locks.

          Comment


          • #6
            The locks were changed immediately after the last time she 'visited' 3-1/2 years ago. Also had her taken off my bank account, employee benefits, etc., etc. (Don't think my Canadian benefit plan would cover her anyway when she lives in the U.S.)

            Are you saying that her "late Answer" could or could not start her claim process or would she have had to file an appeal or something else instead?? It's making me very anxious not knowing just what she did and didn't do at the Court.

            I was hoping that because her "Answer" was several weeks late past the 30 days requirement, that the Clerk would just hand it back to her and say "Sorry about your luck -- the Divorce has already been granted".

            As for a U.S. lawyer, she's always saying she can't afford a lawyer and expects that I should provide one for her. I can't even afford one myself!!!

            All the slanted and politically-correct things that happen in our Ontario Courts are enough to scare anyone away from them!!! It seems that no decent, hard-working person has any rights or considerations at all --- very scary, at best.

            Comment


            • #7
              Why don't you just pay a visit to the courthouse where you filed your divorce application, and ask to see the files/documents contained in your continuing record? You can immediately see whether her answer is included in there/has been accepted or not.
              Last edited by Exquizique; 07-30-2012, 02:56 PM.

              Comment


              • #8
                I'd just have a glance at the last page of your divorce order and see if there is a standard 30 day to appeal divorce decision clause.

                Don't think you have much to worry about because I believe she would have to file her appeal of the divorce decision with the appeals court and she probably doesn't have a clue how that works. Important thing is that she hopefully was served the divorce judgment. If she was then don't worry.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Thanks Exquizique & Arabian:

                  I'll try to get into the Court and take a look at the file. Not an easy task at our Courthouse as it's extremely difficult to find parking ....... but well worth the trouble to find out where I stand.

                  I did phone the Court clerk last Friday a.m. and was told "Answer was filed too late -- Divorce Order already signed 15 days earlier and would be in the mail to me shortly". I can only hope they weren't too helpful to the EX to hold her hand and help with some other re-course. I don't think the Court staff are there to do that and no doubt it would take some time. She had to get back to the US to go to work the next day.

                  If her papers were accepted in any manner, wouldn't a Process Server be required to serve copy of same to me? And, if I have to reply, don't I have to once again get a Process Server to deliver any copy to her? Not too clear on this point. I know my original Application was served to her by a Professional Process Server in the U.S. Anyone know for sure about this point??

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by arabian View Post
                    Don't think you have much to worry about because I believe she would have to file her appeal of the divorce decision with the appeals court and she probably doesn't have a clue how that works. Important thing is that she hopefully was served the divorce judgment. If she was then don't worry.
                    Or a US based lawyer who can't practice law in Canada... Appeals are a horrible nightmare to even do with a good lawyer. 30 days is "business days" too. So every day the court house is open is a "day". Weekends and holidays do not count as a "day".

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by castaway View Post
                      If her papers were accepted in any manner, wouldn't a Process Server be required to serve copy of same to me? And, if I have to reply, don't I have to once again get a Process Server to deliver any copy to her? Not too clear on this point. I know my original Application was served to her by a Professional Process Server in the U.S. Anyone know for sure about this point??
                      Even if they weren't accepted the Answer should have been served on you (or your lawyer) and the court.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        I am having hard time believing that divorce order can be issued that fast. Doesn't it take about 4 month for the entire process at maximum pace (includes registry checks and other divorce applications etc)?

                        Also, doesn't the filing the answer deadline increase to 60 days when the respondent in living in a foreign country?
                        Last edited by singledad99; 07-30-2012, 03:46 PM.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Don't know what the answer deadline is in this case but usually spelled out on last page of divorce after judge's signature.

                          Divorces can go quickly, particularly if no children involved and parties have lived apart for over a year (or one have agreed to adultery or cruelty for grounds). If all financial, matrimonial property issues are dealt with then you can be divorced as soon as you get a signed divorce judgment.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by singledad99 View Post
                            I am having hard time believing that divorce order can be issued that fast. Doesn't it take about 4 month for the entire process at maximum pace (includes registry checks and other divorce applications etc)?
                            Took roughly 5 weeks for mine. 4 weeks for someone else I know.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Hello, singledad99:

                              The entire process (original Application, etc), started in May and it clearly states on the form that the time frame to answer is 30 days if Respondent lives in Canada or the U.S. and 60 days if it's some other foreign country. In my particular case, the spouse was served on May 25 and the time limit expired on July 9. I can only assume that all the paperwork submitted by me met the criteria and because no Answer had been received (and no kids involved), the Divorce Order was granted. My application was for DIVORCE ONLY (no dealing with property or support issues at that time). Still have that fun to look forward to, but as mentioned in my previous, rambling posts, this "marriage" was the wierdest thing I've ever encountered. Didn't anticipate or plan to be married but still living and working single in Ontario and just short 'visits' whether I liked it or not. I'm sure, in hindsight, this was just an 'opportunity' and 'convenience' for my US spouse, unbeknownst to me. Talk about feeling like a total fool, now. Very grateful there were no kids involved. Too many people stay in extremely unhappy, unfulfilling marriages trying to protect the kids. Personally, my opinion is that children are much better off with mutually caring, co-operative parenting than living in a 'toxic' household. Anyway, just hope my particular journey from Hell will soon be over the the EX will stop writing, txting, phoning, and just showing up unannounced. I truly don't wish her any harm -- I just plain don't want anything more to do with her and her twisted expectations/demands.

                              Good Luck with your own journey!!

                              Comment

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