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  • #16
    Originally posted by trinton View Post
    Material change: child is struggling in school, to the extend that social workers were involved and counselling was recommended, the marks are below the expected level and child is involved in programs for children with special needs

    although it was foresean that she would be going to school (she was in kindergarten when order was made) it was assume that the child would be doing well in school. The child is not thriving and this was not foresean.

    material change: child has developed speech difficulties and a referral was made through the school, child is continuing this difficulty and this was also not foresean
    Bear in mind that not every unexpected event is a material change in the sense you're thinking of. All kinds of life events can be unexpected but they don't all have a bearing on what is best for the child.

    I believe the test is: would the custody arrangements in the order have been different if the change had been known at the time the order was made? In other words, if it had been known at the time you divorced that Kid would have trouble in school in the future, would the judge have decided against sole custody to Mom? Maybe yes, maybe no. I think you're better off not trying to argue that there's been a material change and sticking with the idea that 50/50 residence is best for the child, and that you and Mom will be able to make it work.

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    • #17
      When my son was in grade 7 I was told by the school that my son should be placed in a "special" school. My son was noted to have extreme reactions when the fire drill went off. My son's academic record was also not great in some subjects. Son was tested by school psychologist and was labelled as "learning disabled."

      I did not accept the results of the school testing. I therefore had my son tested by a private, highly regarded, clinician. I recall the cost for the testing alone was around $1,500.00 (this was quite a few years ago).

      The result of the intense testing was simply that my son was not motivated. He did not have a learning disability.

      Regarding my son's reaction to the fire alarm - turns out my mother would tell my son often of her extreme fear of fire as when she grew up (in the 1930's) people often died of fires. To this day my son hates fire alarms, sirens etc.

      Regarding the school. This is what I found out: schools are rated. If child is not doing well academically it is much better for a school to have the child designated as 'learning disabled' so that the school's academic rating isn't affected by students who are not doing well.

      I think parents have to be aware of not just the other parent's motivations in requesting testing but of the school system itself. I'd find out WHY tudors are required. And, as other posters have indicated, make sure discussions take place with child's physician. Has the child had regular eye examinations I wonder?
      Last edited by arabian; 10-21-2016, 07:18 PM.

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      • #18
        Originally posted by arabian View Post
        Has the child had regular eye examinations I wonder?
        The child hadn't even seen a dentist until she was 5 years old. Most recently the dentist had found numerous cavities


        everything is kept a secret until I find out about it or ask questions that lead me to figuring out, even then I am still kept in a really dark

        there is no legal requirement on her to share this information but it doesn't really reflect good on her when she doesn't - you're just an access parent and you just need to see your child and you don't need to know anything about anything else.. sigh.

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        • #19
          Originally posted by stripes View Post
          Bear in mind that not every unexpected event is a material change in the sense you're thinking of. All kinds of life events can be unexpected but they don't all have a bearing on what is best for the child.

          I believe the test is: would the custody arrangements in the order have been different if the change had been known at the time the order was made? In other words, if it had been known at the time you divorced that Kid would have trouble in school in the future, would the judge have decided against sole custody to Mom? Maybe yes, maybe no. I think you're better off not trying to argue that there's been a material change and sticking with the idea that 50/50 residence is best for the child, and that you and Mom will be able to make it work.
          and it is very likely these things won't be a change anymore by the time I get a chance to prove them..

          Can't touch access without a material change, if a material change threshold is not met the case is dismissed right there and then the negativity starts to impact everyone involved, the parents, the child, the courts, the community, etc.. and ultimately the judges are held accountable to the public.. sole custody is bad, very bad

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          • #20
            so the child is already getting help from the school from a Special Education Resource Teacher . Isn't that like tutoring?

            I have reached out to the school to discuss the child's school and find out whether they have recommended tutoring ...

            meanwhile I have agreed that tutoring is a good way to get extra help but I am being accused of doing no reading or writing with child whatsoever during the time that I already have with the child .... was me denying paid tutoring and offering to help after school mon ,wed and friday evidence that I do no reading or writing during the time I already have ? I do help child with reading and writing while she is in my care ...

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