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  • Don't want to go home

    Sitting at work still, not wanting to go home.

    STBX sent me a text a while ago that she is throwing a dinner party tonight at our house. Her new guy is going to be there and probably his kids and probably a bunch of other people.

    Certainly doesn't feel like home under these circumstances. I know she is doing it to get me to try and settle and make me feel uncomfortable. Oh well..Just suck it up and be an adult.

    It's a little stressing to say the least. It also sounded like he would be spending the night. #awkward.

    Just a vent. Don't mind me.

  • #2
    That is pretty strange ^ - where are the kids?

    It's inappropriate and tacky on all levels, given your circumstances. The BF apparently has a pea brain, no class etc. Has this happened before?

    Why don't you spend the night out?

    Comment


    • #3
      my ex and I lived for together for a while after separation. The deal was no new partners calling or bringing them here. Any new relationships had to be away from the house out of respect for the other person.

      Comment


      • #4
        ^ and out of respect for the kids.. What the Hell? And I'm still trying to figure out what kind of a loser, low-life of a guy (her bf) would go along with that? Jerry Springer material.

        Comment


        • #5
          Oy, that is really tacky on her part. Can you spend the night somewhere else?

          And he's spending the night? Let's think of ways to make HIM feel awkward, so he won't do it again while you are both still in the house.

          How bout you leave some torn up condoms around the bedroom area? Once the kids are in bed, get naked and walk around the house/kitchen area?..
          Start a discussion, not a fire. Post with kindness.

          Comment


          • #6
            Since she's hell-bent on throwing her dinner party, keep your dignity and stay at a friend's place. Separated, whatever: that's completely insensitive/disrespectful.

            Comment


            • #7
              LOL @ McDreamy...

              Go home, get undressed and then put on a bathrobe and take a shower. Take a long shower, like an hour. So no one else can use the bathroom. Then come out in your bathrobe, walk through the dining room and into the kitchen, get a snack from the fridge and go sit on the couch in the living room. Turn on the TV and watch something inane. If you are able to fart as you walk past your ex, do so. If anyone says anything to you, pretend you are alone in the house.

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by hadenough View Post
                Since she's hell-bent on throwing her dinner party, keep your dignity and stay at a friend's place. Separated, whatever: that's completely insensitive/disrespectful.
                That is giving her what she wants, and validating her behaviour.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by hadenough View Post
                  Since she's hell-bent on throwing her dinner party, keep your dignity and stay at a friend's place. Separated, whatever: that's completely insensitive/disrespectful.
                  Yes it is.. but I wouldn't let her set a precedent, else he'll wind up sleeping on sofa's for the next year on his "off" times until they have settled. It needs to be dealt with. Fart, belch, be naked (obviously, once the kids are down!). Do not be antagonistic... just be.
                  Start a discussion, not a fire. Post with kindness.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Mess View Post
                    That is giving her what she wants, and validating her behaviour.
                    Lol... great minds!
                    Start a discussion, not a fire. Post with kindness.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Mess View Post
                      LOL @ McDreamy...

                      Go home, get undressed and then put on a bathrobe and take a shower. Take a long shower, like an hour. Then come out in your bathrobe, walk through the dining room and into the kitchen, get a snack from the fridge and go sit on the couch in the living room. Turn on the TV and watch something inane. If you are able to fart as you walk past your ex, do so. If anyone says anything to you, pretend you are alone in the house.
                      I was totally going to suggest something like what Mess said. But not as annoying. BUt I would go home and enjoy the company. It`s your house.
                      Be the best host of the party. Better than her. But I would also have a recorder going, just incase.
                      Just keep it on yourself.

                      So either keep your cloths on or off. It`s your house.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        What's the alternative? Showing up and looking like an idiot? At least if he stays out then it would appear he doesn't give a hoot what she does, and hey - for all she knows, maybe he spent the night with a hot chick?

                        It's not a good situation. It shouldn't be happening in the first place, but apparently it is.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Kids are with her this weekend. On her last weekend she spent the weekend at his place with the kids. She even left d4 with him, 50kms away, for the day while bringing s7 into hockey practice. Also last week she had him over for dinner while I was working. We share the cost of groceries since most of them are for the kids. I told her I would not be paying for him to eat my food. So she told me in the text that at least she bought the food with her own money. I guess she wanted a hero cookie.

                          I have to go home at some point as I have to sign on to my computer for work at 2:30 in the morning for an implementation.

                          Now I just got a text from her asking if I was coming home tomorrow night as her and the kids will be *out* and I need to let the dog out.

                          Crazy life.

                          Can I tell her that I will watch the kids if she wants to go somewhere tomorrow night.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by slughead10 View Post
                            go home cook yourself some curried fish.....
                            With beans on the side.

                            What's the alternative? Showing up and looking like an idiot? At least if he stays out then it would appear he doesn't give a hoot what she does, and hey - for all she knows, maybe he spent the night with a hot chick?
                            He's not an idiot. It is his house. It is where he sleeps at night. Her bringing in a bf into their matrimonial home, with bf kids, is the idiot move.

                            I have to go home at some point as I have to sign on to my computer for work at 2:30 in the morning for an implementation.
                            Now I just got a text from her asking if I was coming home tomorrow night as her and the kids will be *out* and I need to let the dog out.
                            Crazy life.
                            Can I tell her that I will watch the kids if she wants to go somewhere tomorrow night.
                            FB, I'm truly not trying to be funny. I think you should go home. I know it won't be easy for you, and I would definitely have a recording device on (I think you have one, right?). But I would not let her make this move forward in your home, without offering some discomfort to her end.

                            Just because it is her weekend with the kids, does not mean you have to vacate the house.
                            Start a discussion, not a fire. Post with kindness.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by FB_ View Post
                              Sitting at work still, not wanting to go home.

                              STBX sent me a text a while ago that she is throwing a dinner party tonight at our house. Her new guy is going to be there and probably his kids and probably a bunch of other people.

                              Certainly doesn't feel like home under these circumstances. I know she is doing it to get me to try and settle and make me feel uncomfortable. Oh well..Just suck it up and be an adult.

                              It's a little stressing to say the least. It also sounded like he would be spending the night. #awkward.

                              Just a vent. Don't mind me.
                              Hire an escort.
                              The HOTTEST YOUNGEST thing you can find.
                              Not for sex, but for a dinner party.

                              In two weeks, invite a close friend or two, and have some people over.

                              Don't tell your stbx. Let her walk in and see your new 'date'.

                              Justice.

                              Comment

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