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Life After The Motion

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  • Life After The Motion

    As you may be aware, the motion held last week went very well. It took months of sleepless nights preparing, many tears and a boat load of patience.

    The judge took his time reading through all of the material and we won the motion (Hate the word "won"). Instead of winning lets just say I can no longer be denied access, I can no longer have OCL report held over my head, I can no longer have secret recordings used against me, my job can no longer be threatened ... the list goes on.

    I stuck to the absolute truth from the beginning. Some here doubted that could be possible given what's been done to me. That's exactly the illusion my ex wanted. The allegations were so bad it had to be true.

    The canlii on this case will be an exquisite read Im sure (if it makes it there).

    NEWS:

    Spoke with my lawyer literally seconds ago. She said that LAO lawyer was all of a sudden very settlement focused (i.e - "Well, I guess we can start looking at settlement now"). <--- is what he said.

    Judge hasn't finished writing up the order yet but both lawyers know the order and agreed that I'm to pick D3 up at 5:00pm Friday at same meeting spot and drop her off on Monday at 8:00am.

    Ex's lawyer said he's talked to ex about this. I've asked that I get a copy of the health card.

    So here we go to the next phase .... Will she or wont she show up?

    One thing's for sure. I can't wait to see my little girl and go trick or treating. Nothing in this world makes me happier than the thought if seeing her in a few days.

    I get to watch Disney movies, read bedtime stories, make eggs in the morning like we used to. Okay .. Ill stop with the gaga stuff. I'm so excited!!
    Last edited by LovingFather32; 10-28-2014, 11:10 AM.

  • #2
    Congratulations on the progress you've made.

    You only asked 1 question. I vote that yes, she will show up with your child on Friday.

    Comment


    • #3
      So happy for you. Hope it all goes well. Might want a witness with you to make sure ex does not say you were agressive towards her. But it would need to be someone not family.

      The only settlement I would agree to is 50/50 offset CS. Full disclosure of childs address at both parents locations. Communication through Email or one of those communication programs. Also,nail down all holidays. No unenforceable "reasonable" clauses.

      Make sure you have a clause about being sick - that still happen etc.

      Its been a long road and you have been honest and consistent so in the end it paid off. Now time to get on with your life!

      Comment


      • #4
        I think she will show up...she knows she can only loose custody if she screws this up.
        I agree you need someone with you for pickup/drop off. I did this for my son in the beginning until daycare became the place for transition.
        You have come a long hard bumpy road and hopefully it gets smoother now for you and your daughter.

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by LovingFather32 View Post
          ...
          So here we go to the next phase .... Will she or wont she show up?
          ...
          I would be prepared, for either way. I hope it goes smoothly for you, but it wouldn't be the first-time that an ex decides not to follow directions from a new motion. (I know, from experience).

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by Beachnana View Post
            ...
            The only settlement I would agree to is 50/50 offset CS. Full disclosure of childs address at both parents locations. Communication through Email or one of those communication programs. Also,nail down all holidays. No unenforceable "reasonable" clauses...
            Agreed.
            The events leading up to all this, so far, show why this is necessary, for your child.

            Comment


            • #7
              Paris:
              Agreed. After I spoke with my lawyer this morning .. I now know OP is singing a different tune litigation-wise.

              Beach:
              Yep. I'll have a witness with me indefinitely.
              I do foresee the need for clauses. Forgive me for not giving her the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps I'll cease with my predictions and see what this new turn of events brings.

              My lawyer instructed me to send an e-mail confirming "exchange spot, date/times". Also that "my lawyer instructed me Im not to talk to her" and that "I just want things to get to be normal for D3".

              Of course I CC'd this to my lawyer as well. My autonomic nervous system did a somersault sending that e-mail. I haven't made contact in 9 months out of fear of false allegations.

              In terms of 50/50....I'll seek nothing less.

              Comment


              • #8
                "Well, I guess we can start looking at settlement now"

                Translation:

                "My high stakes, dirty-tricks strategy has completely blown up in my face. I'm going to cut my losses and encourage a settlement, rather than risk my client getting the same EOW anvil that I tried to hang around your neck. Oh, and I'm not likely going to get my certificate extended on this train wreck, so I better wrap this up and move on to my next victim/client"

                Very happy for you. Ironically, I don't have my kids for hallowe'en (it's my ex's turn), so I am going to live vicariously through you.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by LovingFather32 View Post
                  Spoke with my lawyer literally seconds ago. She said that LAO lawyer was all of a sudden very settlement focused (i.e - "Well, I guess we can start looking at settlement now"). <--- is what he said.
                  IMO if often takes that route, the opposing side will posture, accuse and make all sorts of wild claims in the hopes that you will back down and agree to their demands. As soon as the possibility of trial is presented - things get real, hence the offers to settle.

                  Best thing to do is exactly what you have done here, prove their allegations wrong with hard evidence, be reasonable and patient ... expect a positive outcome in front of the judge that's all that matters in the end.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Haha, settlement.... yeah right - you are going to get offered EoW.

                    Shared residency will only come about by a judge's order.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Links17 View Post
                      Haha, settlement.... yeah right - you are going to get offered EoW.

                      Shared residency will only come about by a judge's order.
                      I know EOW will be my only offer. I expect that.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by LovingFather32 View Post
                        I know EOW will be my only offer. I expect that.
                        I'm guessing for you EOW=every other week, and for her it means every other weekend.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          One thing I learned very quickly was to not worry about what could happen. Just be prepared for anything...

                          You can only control you.

                          I agree their offer will be exactly what was ordered... You on the other hand want 50/50 which they will not agree too.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            The stench of child abduction and making allegations to get custody will linger all the way through this matter.

                            Will Goldilocks make more allegations at some future date....you bet she will.

                            Goldilocks wants Quebec and old goat....PERIOD

                            Her worst fear is if LF32's mom moves back into being huge in D3's life.

                            mediation or settlement is just a position in a SC/TMC to say "we tried".

                            I'm pissed you never asked for it first to head OP of at the pass.

                            Here's the first negotiating position....you want 8 months of missed time, back with D3...now that the joke on you is over for the OP. (is that unfair to ask?)

                            Goldilocks is high conflict, period, you think your going to get police enforcement as part of "settlement from them".

                            Your lucky LF32 she didn't just run to old goats with D3 and then come back for EOW.....Goldilocks already proved she wants you under a bus. Now you know you need that TOUGH court order for enforcement of it's terms.

                            It takes many many court appearances for many people to find that out.(years)

                            Who's the better parent? What's the test?

                            Stability for Goldilocks is a Action House? or No fixed address? or someday I'll let dad know

                            Goldilocks ran you down and everyone she could in your extended family,

                            Shrugged off family reunions, D3's Birthday and Fathers Day. NON ISSUE for her. Is there going to be a turnaround? The past will come up at Trial, and Goldilocks picked her poison.

                            Why would a judge give sole custody to a parent who doesn't look for a job and content to live on welfare? Child support will just be deducted from welfare.

                            She doesn't even look for a Job.....because she's in between provinces.

                            LF32 you have genuine concerns on how Goldilocks behaviour is affecting D3, it's provable now because of the Motion judges seeing through the B.S.

                            For the child's future well being, Goldilocks needs a 1000 percent turnaround, it will never happen.

                            She isn't going to "grow up" she just wants to drop D3 off at old goats and go out partying. There's a difference between child custody to do your own thing and child custody being a responsible adult raising a child.

                            The old goat should write up Goldilocks parenting plan, because Goldilocks can't think of one. (and it's obvious)
                            Last edited by MrToronto; 10-29-2014, 12:08 AM.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by MrToronto View Post
                              The stench of child abduction and making allegations to get custody will linger all the way through this matter.
                              Yes it will. That's why this is not over. You mention make up time also. God knows I would love this and deserve this. I'm not sure how the courts see that avenue. Does anybody know?
                              Originally posted by MrToronto View Post
                              mediation or settlement is just a position in a SC/TMC to say "we tried".

                              I'm pissed you never asked for it first to head OP of at the pass.
                              I have 4 or 5 e-mails/letters offering mediation. You trained me well for that. I even gave options of different mediation services and showed my applications filled out. I even mention in e-mails that LAO has "free" mediation svc's that weren't offered to ex.

                              I called LAO a while back and was told that "DV Victims" don't even have to bat an eyelash at mediation. Thus, after this motion that may bite her in the behind.

                              OP spoke to my lawyer "on the phone yesterday" about discussing settlement. Nothing on paper yet. I think it would be advantageous to have my lawyer get that mediation letter out today to get the head start.

                              Originally posted by LF32 View Post
                              You're right. Her instability and incessant desire to shut myself and my family out of D3's life speaks volumes and this is something I'll have to wrestle with for the rest of my life with her.
                              WorkingDad's ex wont provide him her address either right now. I wonder if he's still pursuing that. Why are we not allowed to know where our children are staying when they're not with us?

                              I know WD's smart as hell .. why doesn't he have 9 orders granting him the right to know where she lives? Is it common practice in family law for this to still occur even after the "victim" label has been removed?

                              Originally posted by MrToronto View Post
                              LF32 you have genuine concerns on how Goldilocks behaviour is affecting D3, it's provable now because of the Motion judges seeing through the B.S.
                              I'm extremely concerned. The fact that she can roughly pull D3's arm at an exchange, forcing this little girl to turn her back to her nanny disgusts me. The alienation from my entire family kills me. There's just so much that turns my stomach. turned the judges stomach also.

                              Why ex didn't go in to this motion with a parenting plan is beyond me. She honestly just thinks she can say:

                              "hmm .. want to stay on welfare .. hide my residence .. keep D3 away from school and other children for 2 years .. oh yea, D3 has attachment issues and can only be around me .. oh I forgot, she only responds to females.

                              Originally posted by MrToronto View Post
                              Now you know you need that TOUGH court order for enforcement of it's terms
                              Had this discussion with my lawyer and she agrees. But we need to go in there with proof that she needs it. I know I know .. her conduct thus far illustrates this clearly. But she rode on OCL's back to fulfill her own needs then threw OCL away.

                              I have to let her screw up again. It's bound to happen. I bet ex will play the "D3's sick" card this weekend. The first time she screws up I get an enforcement order. All of her past conduct PLUS a new incident would get it for sure.

                              I agree that an e-mail outlining an offer for mediation, OFW, request for health/welfare (still don't have it -- flu shots?), health card copy, etc needs to get sent out.
                              Last edited by LovingFather32; 10-29-2014, 08:30 AM.

                              Comment

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