Hello,
I'm at a lost. I left my former common law partner three years ago, after what we both new was a toxic relationship. I moved to Ottawa with my son while he stayed in Montreal for his work. Things were amicable. I travelled half way to Montreal on the weekends to exchange and for the most part, we were still good friends.
After 8 mths, he transferred to Ottawa and moved to the same community as my son and I. I still have our son the majority of the time because of his schedule. Our friendship started to crash as I entered into a new relationship. My ex wanted 50/50. We had no set schedule and we were simply going off our work schedules/social outings planned out on a monthly calendar ect. We were always very flexible. I was open to a 50/50 until he sent me an email announcing he met someone and after several months into their relationship, they bought a new house and she was 13 weeks pregnant (with twins). My stance was to keep as little change possible in my son's life and this was going to be a big one. His dad refused and unilaterally changed our month to month schedule by picking up my son on 'my day' and kept him for 7 days. My lawyer sent his lawyer a letter to say 'no -no' all while we would email me to say such things as 'you have no leg to stand on'.
I was told to keep my stance and return to our regular schedule (of which was pretty much 60/40 at that time) and again, he pulled my son out of daycare on my day -right before I was picking him up and kept him for the 7 days. I didn't even have the chance to explain to my son that I wouldn't see him for 7 days and that things were changing. My son was 6 at that time. Again, another letter from my lawyer stating that both parties are so close to reaching an agreement and that he should not have done that ect. My ex and his lawyer declined a four way lawyer meeting, and we settled to attend mediation. This didn't help whatsoever.
All I wanted was six months so my child could adapt to the baby twins, his new house and his dad's girlfriend. I decided that I would simply let it go and not fight the 50/50. He is a good father after all. A year and a half went by and that's when I met my partner and I moved in with him - in Kanata. He also has a daughter and her and my son are a year apart. He also has her 50/50 schedule with her and we have the kids on the same week. Ever since my relationship with my partner and including my move to Kanata, my ex has been very hostile. He is unreasonable at every chance. For a year now, I've been driving my son to school in Barrhaven (20min drive) and my ex seems to think that this is unacceptable.
My son's school called in Feb this year with red flags about our son (lack of focus, emotional outbursts,ect) and his dad blamed my move. We had him assessed and the report came back that he did not in fact have ADHD and that he was emotionally affected by the separation (even though three years had passed by) He still wants his mom and dad together. He is now 8yrs old, and is seeing the school board's social worker. Things have improved and he seems happier however, the social worker called a conference call with both his dad and I (last week) to summarize the last few months and shared that our son expressed wanting to attend the same school as his step sister (her school is behind our home).
You see, they are very close and have a special connection. I'm at a point now where I feel that 50/50 is not working (even his dad says this) our son has not adjusted and that we should be listening to what our son wants. My ex refuses to seek mediation and now I'm faced with having my lawyer send his lawyer a four way meeting request to talk about changing my son's school to Kanata of which would affect access. Any suggestions? I am not looking for child support. I'm even wondering if a parenting coordinator may work.
I'm at a lost. I left my former common law partner three years ago, after what we both new was a toxic relationship. I moved to Ottawa with my son while he stayed in Montreal for his work. Things were amicable. I travelled half way to Montreal on the weekends to exchange and for the most part, we were still good friends.
After 8 mths, he transferred to Ottawa and moved to the same community as my son and I. I still have our son the majority of the time because of his schedule. Our friendship started to crash as I entered into a new relationship. My ex wanted 50/50. We had no set schedule and we were simply going off our work schedules/social outings planned out on a monthly calendar ect. We were always very flexible. I was open to a 50/50 until he sent me an email announcing he met someone and after several months into their relationship, they bought a new house and she was 13 weeks pregnant (with twins). My stance was to keep as little change possible in my son's life and this was going to be a big one. His dad refused and unilaterally changed our month to month schedule by picking up my son on 'my day' and kept him for 7 days. My lawyer sent his lawyer a letter to say 'no -no' all while we would email me to say such things as 'you have no leg to stand on'.
I was told to keep my stance and return to our regular schedule (of which was pretty much 60/40 at that time) and again, he pulled my son out of daycare on my day -right before I was picking him up and kept him for the 7 days. I didn't even have the chance to explain to my son that I wouldn't see him for 7 days and that things were changing. My son was 6 at that time. Again, another letter from my lawyer stating that both parties are so close to reaching an agreement and that he should not have done that ect. My ex and his lawyer declined a four way lawyer meeting, and we settled to attend mediation. This didn't help whatsoever.
All I wanted was six months so my child could adapt to the baby twins, his new house and his dad's girlfriend. I decided that I would simply let it go and not fight the 50/50. He is a good father after all. A year and a half went by and that's when I met my partner and I moved in with him - in Kanata. He also has a daughter and her and my son are a year apart. He also has her 50/50 schedule with her and we have the kids on the same week. Ever since my relationship with my partner and including my move to Kanata, my ex has been very hostile. He is unreasonable at every chance. For a year now, I've been driving my son to school in Barrhaven (20min drive) and my ex seems to think that this is unacceptable.
My son's school called in Feb this year with red flags about our son (lack of focus, emotional outbursts,ect) and his dad blamed my move. We had him assessed and the report came back that he did not in fact have ADHD and that he was emotionally affected by the separation (even though three years had passed by) He still wants his mom and dad together. He is now 8yrs old, and is seeing the school board's social worker. Things have improved and he seems happier however, the social worker called a conference call with both his dad and I (last week) to summarize the last few months and shared that our son expressed wanting to attend the same school as his step sister (her school is behind our home).
You see, they are very close and have a special connection. I'm at a point now where I feel that 50/50 is not working (even his dad says this) our son has not adjusted and that we should be listening to what our son wants. My ex refuses to seek mediation and now I'm faced with having my lawyer send his lawyer a four way meeting request to talk about changing my son's school to Kanata of which would affect access. Any suggestions? I am not looking for child support. I'm even wondering if a parenting coordinator may work.
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