Lawd....Here we go again...

[Pursuinghappiness]

Well, I'll be back in court again this year...

The court action started because I pay off-set CS and have to provide my taxes each year to have CS adjusted. However, last year, I received a promotion and associated large salary increase so now am making considerably more than my ex. When he found out, he not only asked for the CS adjustment, which was fine...he requested spousal support...lol.

We both make over 6 figures USD so the idea is ridiculous but he LOVES to drag me through litigation...its the only way he can try to bug me.

Anyway, since I had to go to court for this nonsense anyway, I decided to also file a re-location notification because our youngest kid is graduating from high school in June and will be going to an American university, so we're moving close to the school. She notified her father but doesn't actually turn 18 until October of the school year which starts this August...so she'll still be under the custody order and I have to request permission to move.

My ex...of course...is trying to block her from going but knows there's nothing he can really do. So instead, his reply to the affidavit was that he wants to move the jurisdiction of our separation agreement to the USA since he's also now planning to move there. The idea is, of course, ridiculous. We were married in Canada, we were divorced in Canada and our separation agreement, which already spells out CS and tuition obligations was filed in Canada years ago. He knows that US law doesn't allocate CS for kids over 18 and has no provision for tuition payments.

He's simply trying to welch out of full table CS and his tuition contribution because he HATES that my daughter is choosing to live with us during her university years. He had a whole plan that he was going to move to Michigan and my daughter was going to move in with him. Unfortunately for him, he didn't run it past her because there's no way she'd ever live with him full-time...she barely tolerates the time she spends with him now. Their relationship has grown more and more and more difficult. He just believes (for some unknown reason) that she should do what he tells her to do instead of simply asking her what she thinks or wants.

His latest trick was to attempt to convince her that my current husband...who the ex has never even spoken to and doesn't know anything about...was a pedophile and apparently that didn't go over too well. My daughter deeply cares for my husband...they have a great relationship.

In fact, she's requested that we stop the current week on/week off schedule with her dad, which I told her is her decision. She's 17 and no longer has to spend equal time with her dad if he's going to continue to engage in this type of behavior. His latest thing is to nickname her "waste of potential" because he claims the university she's choosing (and I quote) "is for losers."

That of course, isn't true. She's picked a great school and is likely to get a very large scholarship to attend. Its just not where he wanted her to go.

Anyway...I truly believe that this might be the last time I have to go through another stupid, annoying, expensive court action. I honestly can't imagine the judges reaction when my ex makes his justification for spousal support....

Canada really, really, really needs to pass a series of laws to deal with vexatious litigation. I cannot wait until this is over and our daughter turns 18 and I don't have to deal with this nonsense anymore.

[Links17]

Smart guy.... are you sure he can't change jurisdiction?

[Pursuinghappiness]

Positive. The only way it could happen is if I agreed to it...which, of course, will never happen.

Our separation agreement was finalized years ago. Besides an American court would simply uphold the existing agreement anyway so the whole idea is stupid. They're not going to re-litigate an agreement that took over 6 years to get completed for a 17 year old in the middle of university.

I find it interesting that you think that a single guy with a good income trying to welch out of supporting the one of his children that still bothers to speak to him is "smart."

I love my kids and the entire reason that I've always worked so hard is to provide for them and their educations. If my daughter had chosen to live with my ex, there is no way I would EVER shirk my financial responsibility to her.

But given your mentality...I'm not surprised that you commend his attitude. It's what I'd expect from someone of your ilk.

[arabian]

PH - i feel for you. Hope you nail him with double costs (if that have that in Ontario). Whole thing sounds ridiculous. Has he actually filed a Notice of MOtion? or is his just postering?

[Pursuinghappiness]

oopsie..dup post.

[Pursuinghappiness]

Thank you Arabian. Yes, we're headed to a case conference...I'm just waiting to find out the date.

I actually don't even care about the legal fees...I'm so used to making legal payments it doesn't even matter anymore. Its the time I have to take off of work to go to the lawyers office or attend court. Its such a waste of time and this week I couldn't go out of town with a customer because I had to go to the lawyers to reply to his moronic affidavit.

I will say some of the stuff he made up in his affidavit about my new husband was cracking us up. My lawyer was even laughing so hard that there were tears coming out of her eyes. Its amazing to me that lightning doesn't strike him when he's swearing the piles of crap that he sends.

I predict that he'll inspire another judge to lose their temper and yell at him again....lol.

[arabian]

Yeah those inflamed affidavits are really something. As my ex took me to court over and over for years I managed to keep my time down to attending my lawyer's office to only sign something. All the work leading up to court was easily handled through email and the occasional phone call. Too bad you have to go through case conferences. I never had to do that. I recall the first year of litigation we had a 4-way (total useless waste of time) and I swore I'd never do that again. I prefer everything to just go before a judge. I don't endorse lawyers doing a back and forth thing very much - 1 letter, 2 at the most. You probably have to do the case conference thing because it's a matter involving a child. Might be worthwhile for you to keep the spousal thing separate for that reason (no case conferences)?

[Pursuinghappiness]

I never thought of keeping the SS thing separate. My lawyer just responded to the entire affidavit. Next time I go in, I might ask her about that.

Case conferences are such a waste of time. My ex won't agree to anything and I'm just writing a check for to my lawyer for nothing.

I really wish there was a movement to stop this kind of stuff happening. Stiff penalties for obvious lying on affidavits and false allegations, etc. Its just nonsense that I'm forced to go to court due to the fact that my ex is pathetically angry because he's a lonely little creep that no woman wants to be around and I've happily moved on.

[arabian]

Actually you don't need to go to court... at least I didn't have to. I haven't been to court myself personally for the past few years (lawyer attends on my behalf). My lawyer is very good at giving me a brief low-down on things when he is in the parking garage right after court and then if I want he calls me the next day with a more detailed description of everything. You can also get transcripts which are actually really quite interesting to read. (This is, of course, if your matter is just about SS).

[Links17]

I find it fairly strange that two parties move to a new jurisdiction and are governed by a 3rd jurisdiction.

I've paid for my children's upbringing since birth and continue to do so (alone) since their births and will continue do so. So I am not sure what you mean by your negative comments.

Legally and intelligently reducing obligations imposed on you by the state is admirable and in this case might be interesting legal strategy. You can call it child support or crack sniffing money, to me it is the state applying a new tax.

[trinton]

If the plan is to move to the states for her to go to university there, the question becomes why isn't she just moving there by herself? If mom is moving there with the child (and the step dad) and dad (Real dad) is also moving there, then the family unit is clearly living under a different jurisdiction. Why should they have to come to Canada whenever they have to deal with a situation that comes up? What they have to fly to Canada to file that emergency motion because that's where the jurisdiction is? Makes absolutely no sense.

PS. that whole all of a sudden the child wants to go to the states, and doesn't want to be involved in dad's life, but is very close to step dad thing isn't quite making sense. Sounds like the step dad is really influencing the child as his own and working very hard to cut the real dad out. You're taking care of the legal aspect. Or trying to anyway.

[Berner_Faith]

PS. that whole all of a sudden the child wants to go to the states, and doesn't want to be involved in dad's life, but is very close to step dad thing isn't quite making sense. Sounds like the step dad is really influencing the child as his own and working very hard to cut the real dad out. You're taking care of the legal aspect. Or trying to anyway.

Or maybe bio dad is a jerk who hasn't been around for his child and thus step dad was the only true father figure she has had in her life.

I don't know how you guys keep up your constant negativity on these forms and argue with everything. Not every parent is an A+ parent like you think they are. There ARE bad parents out there (moms and dads) that ruin their own relationships with their children, without the other parents influence. My husband for example doesn't speak to his father because of some incidents involving just his father. But I'm sure you'll blame his mother still because dads do no wrong.


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[arabian]

I concur Berner_Faith. There are many parents (male and female) who are not stellar. This is but an example of a poster's response, yet again, that women are evil.... pity party for the father (with absolutely no information with which to take that position).

[rockscan]

Is there any way you could stay in Canada and be close enough for kid to live in residence or is it a case of moving removes the "international student" name and reduces costs?

[trinton]

I concur Berner_Faith. There are many parents (male and female) who are not stellar. This is but an example of a poster's response, yet again, that women are evil.... pity party for the father (with absolutely no information with which to take that position).

I did not say that women are evil. I'm sorry that you feel that way. But that is not to say that women can't be evil, otherwise, I wouldn't be turned into a visitor and ultimately on this forum in the first place.

I have a hard time concluding that the step-dad has had no discussions with the child regarding the move to another country. It would be very hard to believe. Do you honestly think that the energy at the home with the step dad is one that portrays her real dad is an amazing person? I would beg to differ.