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  • breaking a prenup

    Has anyone every gotten a prenup put aside. My husband had me sign one 17 years ago one week before our wedding. He said it was to just cover his company which I totally understood. When I started reading it there was alot more to it than that but I was totally in love and signed off on getting a lawyer to look at it. Now I have found out that he has been cheating on me for 2 and a half years on and off. He wants a divorce and refuses to give me anything except 1/2 the house. He made me quit my job 11 years ago saying that he could pull a bigger paycheque out of his company in his name than what I was making. Now I have been out of the work force for to long and I am also 59. I am soooo stressed out and worried about what will happen. Any input.

  • #2
    you signed the agreement and you should live up to it. You had the choice not to sign. He did not make you quit your job, he probably suggested it and you agreed. If you didn't then you could have kept working.

    Your best bet is get a lawyer to look it over for you and see what they suggest.

    Comment


    • #3
      I thought prenuptials in canada were only about assets and not so much about spousal support.

      Totally not in the know about the subject - but that was a long time ago. I could see things having changed so that its not as airtight as he may think.

      Go get a lawyer.

      Comment


      • #4
        You signed it. The purpose of it was what happens if you split.

        Why you are splitting is not relevant.

        I wouldn't agree that the prenup should be set aside - but that does not mean that other agreements were made during the marriage that partially override the prenup.

        Get a lawyer, but only to interpret the agreement (if you are unable to). Having it set aside because of some BS that you didn't understand it at the time you signed it is simply immoral and not true. Unless you have a learning disability that is

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by judepude View Post
          Has anyone every gotten a prenup put aside. My husband had me sign one 17 years ago one week before our wedding. He said it was to just cover his company which I totally understood. When I started reading it there was alot more to it than that but I was totally in love and signed off on getting a lawyer to look at it.
          If there was no independent legal advice, I believe it can be set aside.

          See a lawyer and search canlii.org

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by frustratedwithex View Post
            If there was no independent legal advice, I believe it can be set aside.

            See a lawyer and search canlii.org
            even if she signed it with the clause that she did not want independant legal advice??

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by billm View Post
              You signed it. The purpose of it was what happens if you split.

              Why you are splitting is not relevant.

              I wouldn't agree that the prenup should be set aside - but that does not mean that other agreements were made during the marriage that partially override the prenup.

              Get a lawyer, but only to interpret the agreement (if you are unable to). Having it set aside because of some BS that you didn't understand it at the time you signed it is simply immoral and not true. Unless you have a learning disability that is
              totally agree with you

              Comment


              • #8
                If it's unconscionable, but you signed a waiver of legal advice, it may still be set aside. Lawyer will know best, get a consultation, either free or flat fee to get an opinion. Law has majorly changed in the past 17 years to recognize the work homemakers actually do (you have kids??) and the loss of pension. Good luck and let us know!

                Comment


                • #9
                  Eleven years. It is my understanding that these prenups have to be "re-adressed" every 5 years. also not getting ILA could effect the standing of the aggrement of the husband. ILA should have been insisted upon. it would look to me that it could be claimed as a deliberately planned tactic to avoid scrutiny of an agreement that a lawyer may very well have disagreed with. And by the way Senior members stop with the bully tactics you sound like macho jerks (or Trolls) the person wants advice not your "Damaged" opinions so give the attitude a rest.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by suncoast View Post
                    ...And by the way Senior members stop with the bully tactics you sound like macho jerks (or Trolls) the person wants advice not your "Damaged" opinions so give the attitude a rest.
                    bully tactics?? advice vs opinion?? macho jerks?? ouch, stop with the bullying already.

                    So when people sign an agreement, the OTHER party is responsible for them doing due diligence? Sounds like she played along with him and his prenup all during the marriage, but AFTER it was over, she pulls the rug out from under him and cries that she never agreed to it? It is immoral at worst, irresponsible at best.

                    My advice is to honour your agreements - it will make the world a better place in my opinion.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Dear Judepude,
                      Did you actually have a lawyer look at it
                      After you signed it (ILA) 17 years ago ?
                      I had a prenuptial agreement for my marriage
                      Because I came into some money and I bought
                      The house we lived in. My ex was never on
                      Title nor paid one cent to purchase of home.
                      He DID get ILA , "but" 13 years later when we
                      Were seperating, it was noticed that only a lawyers
                      Signature was on it with no name under it!!
                      My lawyer never caught this either, back then.
                      So my ex lied in court and said he did "not"
                      Receive legal advice . He hired a civil litigation
                      Lawyer and because laws change during that time etc
                      It really didn't stand as it should have in my opinion.
                      I had to pay him out a small portion but even at
                      That.. It almost put me and my 2 children on the street .
                      So, my point is , depending on your lawyer, the judge
                      And your lucky stars anything can happen. There does
                      Not seem to be much of any "iron clad" in anything
                      Anymore. Our legal system is awful.
                      I dont know either, how you can prove that
                      He "made" you quit working?? In most average
                      Cases there is no business. Just the split of a home.
                      You may "try" for a portion of pension or
                      Spousal ? .. Because you now are moving into retirement
                      Years.. ? I'm sorry you are going through this
                      , I wish you much luck. Just find a lawyer
                      That is motivated and a go getter.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        I do beleive in keeping your word as well. I have also come to understand the importance of understanding the true implication of waiving the right to get legal council. I can't quote articles or case files but I have read to many times now that it is stuck in my head....

                        I agree with suncoast, at least to the point of a poster posted to get an understanding of her situatioin, there will be time between "today" and when she will ultimately be able to sit with a lawyer who will give it to her straight. In the meantime instead of citing your morals why not instead make the effort to guide this person to research her own, her possible fate, in the meantime? This has been done in the other posts, some excellent posts so I will not repeat.

                        If it is a colourfull story you are interested in, is closer to what I have read time and time again and morals or none, the following paragraphs do actually make a point. If lawyers were not allowed to make money off of the type of document in question here, unless the other party did indeed get proper legal advice I strongly believe we would not need to worry about anyone's morals, or why they should honour or how could they be so foolish to waive anything they probably didn't understand in the first place. So if you look for intertainment - read on, if not that is ok too because for a few minutes tonight I actually had a chance to forget some of my problems if only briefly........

                        Manipulation of an individual under the stress of a quickly upcoming marriage, the stress, people tugging the bride from every direction. Sorry but not one recollection has been of gender reversal, not to say it has never happened because I would bet on it but to the point: For all the uphold your agreement voters: Why did hubby to-be not prep this document and present it with his proposal of marriage? Why is it so very common to hear of this issue hand in hand with "the night before, the week before, waive your right to legal (now why would any manipulative hubby to be ask this of his bride to be???)

                        Continue with - It happened for what ever reason but why has one of these last minute deciepts ever came with a 12 month clause that states you (usually the bride) have this time to read and understand this document when the dust settles and as a trusting new husband allow a clause to give the new bride the right to make any modification to said document and without question, and with full trust, any and all modifications will be accepted and become part of the final aggreement?

                        Outrageous I am certain - this is why judges have been known to regularly toss these firesale grossly onesided non-agreements in the trash bin. Without legal advice, my understanding is an agreement that is so one sided and biased to the orginator/author of what is just short of unconciousable, in my humble opinion, is deemed not to be worth the paper it is written on. Any agreement that does not have proper independant legal advice for both parties is thrown out unless it is deemed to be reasonably fair to both parties and would meet the intent of the family law act. The law changes over time - the earlier comment of the need to reopen these documents every five years makes perfect sense!!!!

                        To all, Have a great day tomorrow!

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by billm View Post
                          You signed it. The purpose of it was what happens if you split.

                          Why you are splitting is not relevant.

                          I wouldn't agree that the prenup should be set aside - but that does not mean that other agreements were made during the marriage that partially override the prenup.

                          Get a lawyer, but only to interpret the agreement (if you are unable to). Having it set aside because of some BS that you didn't understand it at the time you signed it is simply immoral and not true. Unless you have a learning disability that is
                          The real challenge is if the agreement wasn't reviewed with counsel prior to signing the agreement. If the agreement doesn't have a waiver clause recommending you review the marriage contract prior to signing there is a lot of grounds to drop it.

                          But, if you signed it and disregarded any clause that recommends you review it with a lawyer prior then you are going to be really stuck... Unless you have a really good lawyer.

                          Good Luck!
                          Tayken

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Not likely to stand up in any court. She did not recv I.L.A. So the agreenent is not valid. Those things barely stand up these days with having had it reviewed by a lawyer (at the time). She was duped. I'd be very surprised if that "agreement" holds any water.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by billm View Post
                              bully tactics?? advice vs opinion?? macho jerks?? ouch, stop with the bullying already.

                              So when people sign an agreement, the OTHER party is responsible for them doing due diligence? Sounds like she played along with him and his prenup all during the marriage, but AFTER it was over, she pulls the rug out from under him and cries that she never agreed to it? It is immoral at worst, irresponsible at best.

                              My advice is to honour your agreements - it will make the world a better place in my opinion.

                              I believe he was pulling the rug out from under her before the marriage began by way of how he presented the prenup to her and as to honouring her agreements....did he honour his agreement to her that he made during the wedding ceremony. I agree that the world would be a better place if agreements were kept, but they rarely are. My sister signed a prenup that was presented to her along with a lawyer that her soon to be spouse supplied. Even though she had legal advice, it was found to be conflict of interest due to both lawyers were supplied by her stbs. Quoting a lawyer "most prenups aren't worth the paper they're written on".

                              Comment

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