So tired of this whole process.
Basis of the story
Married 2002
Two kids 3 and 6
Bi-polar wife had numerous affairs.
She spent 6 weeks in the hospital for treatment in March/April of 2011
Official separation date is Aug 2011
Been living in the same house together during the whole negotiation process. however negotiations require two parties and unfortunately it's only me trying to come to a resolution.
Since Oct 2009 there have been 6 police incidents. (She assulted me twice, She went missing once, Her boyfriend called the cops on me once, I came home to her boyfriend in my house while kids were sleeping and he refused to leave, and she took 10 Tylenol 3 in a fit and police were called to handle situation thus starting her 6 weeks in the mental health ward)
2 Childrens Aid Investigations steaming from the second assault and OD on Tylenol 3.
My lawyer on multiple occasions attempted to make a proposal and on all occasions the reply was no. No counter offer nothing. My lawyer finally sent correspondence basically saying you keep rejecting all our offers maybe it would be better if you provide us with a settlement proposal. The letter also asked for permission for me to travel with the kids. We got a NO back to the travel with the kids within 1 week but have heard nothing regarding a proposal after 4 weeks.
I offered shared custody. Offset child support. No Spousal Support. She could keep the house if she bought me out. Child support would put our net income at 47% and 53%
She wants sole custody. Full Table Child support. Max spousal support 50% net income, and for me to just sign over the house and forget about the equity.
Since Aug 2011 we have had a shared custody agreement where we both have alternating parenting nights and alternating weekends with the kids. I refuse to move out as I can't stand the thought of her having full custody, she just can't handle it. She won't leave as she has it great. I'm paying more house expenses than she is as she refuses to pay her proportional share even after several letters demanding full payment. (remember the "NO" responses). I have been keeping track of every penny spent for the last year but I'm pretty sure I won't get any of it back.
I'm tired of it and just requested my lawyer file with the courts. I've tried to be nice, I've tried to do it sensibly, but when you are dealing with a diagnosed bi-polar who is totally unwilling to co-operate in this whole process. She wants to take the kids back to our home town which I refused. So she feels entitled for me to pay for her to live in the GTA.
It sucks living with her but I'm doing it to ensure the kids have the best.
BTW I read the "HOOVER" articles and they are exactly what she is like.
This is my life.
More Thoughts on FOG, Hoovers and No Contact When Ending a Relationship with a Narcissist, Borderline, Histrionic and/or Sociopath | Shrink4Men
I've also tried to get out dating but with such a complex situation not many are interested. It's pretty tough and lonely. Thankfully my friends and family are there for me.
Ok I feel better getting this off my chest, but the stress and uncertainty of what is to come might drive me stupid.
Basis of the story
Married 2002
Two kids 3 and 6
Bi-polar wife had numerous affairs.
She spent 6 weeks in the hospital for treatment in March/April of 2011
Official separation date is Aug 2011
Been living in the same house together during the whole negotiation process. however negotiations require two parties and unfortunately it's only me trying to come to a resolution.
Since Oct 2009 there have been 6 police incidents. (She assulted me twice, She went missing once, Her boyfriend called the cops on me once, I came home to her boyfriend in my house while kids were sleeping and he refused to leave, and she took 10 Tylenol 3 in a fit and police were called to handle situation thus starting her 6 weeks in the mental health ward)
2 Childrens Aid Investigations steaming from the second assault and OD on Tylenol 3.
My lawyer on multiple occasions attempted to make a proposal and on all occasions the reply was no. No counter offer nothing. My lawyer finally sent correspondence basically saying you keep rejecting all our offers maybe it would be better if you provide us with a settlement proposal. The letter also asked for permission for me to travel with the kids. We got a NO back to the travel with the kids within 1 week but have heard nothing regarding a proposal after 4 weeks.
I offered shared custody. Offset child support. No Spousal Support. She could keep the house if she bought me out. Child support would put our net income at 47% and 53%
She wants sole custody. Full Table Child support. Max spousal support 50% net income, and for me to just sign over the house and forget about the equity.
Since Aug 2011 we have had a shared custody agreement where we both have alternating parenting nights and alternating weekends with the kids. I refuse to move out as I can't stand the thought of her having full custody, she just can't handle it. She won't leave as she has it great. I'm paying more house expenses than she is as she refuses to pay her proportional share even after several letters demanding full payment. (remember the "NO" responses). I have been keeping track of every penny spent for the last year but I'm pretty sure I won't get any of it back.
I'm tired of it and just requested my lawyer file with the courts. I've tried to be nice, I've tried to do it sensibly, but when you are dealing with a diagnosed bi-polar who is totally unwilling to co-operate in this whole process. She wants to take the kids back to our home town which I refused. So she feels entitled for me to pay for her to live in the GTA.
It sucks living with her but I'm doing it to ensure the kids have the best.
BTW I read the "HOOVER" articles and they are exactly what she is like.
This is my life.
More Thoughts on FOG, Hoovers and No Contact When Ending a Relationship with a Narcissist, Borderline, Histrionic and/or Sociopath | Shrink4Men
I've also tried to get out dating but with such a complex situation not many are interested. It's pretty tough and lonely. Thankfully my friends and family are there for me.
Ok I feel better getting this off my chest, but the stress and uncertainty of what is to come might drive me stupid.
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