OK so here goes my story, I hope I don't bore you.
I have been married for 13 years. Prior to that I had dated this woman for 4 years. We met very young. I have always been very insecure with women/girls. When I met this person I did not really feel like I was in love, and the releationship kept going even though I wanted to break it off several times. I sort of figured well its not tht bad.
We got married because it was sort of the next step. We really have had a good life together. We enjoy the same things and have gotten along pretty good. But to be candid, I don't think I ever really had a true love with this person. For me it was much easier to just be content with my situation rather thatn rock the boat. I know this was not a good idea. But at that time I was very insecure and had a confidence problem. I like to think I have changed with those aspects.
For the past couple years I have thought of leaving her, but again whats the point. I mean we have built a good life: a house, two great kids and all the toys that go along with this. I never hated her, but never really truely loved her.
So, just about 1 years ago I meet this woman (its kinda of a long story of how we met). I was not out looking, but when we met (job releated) sparks flew and I saw fireworks.
Had contact with her, for business purposes twice a few months past meeting her. Well to make a real long story short we met again in late December of 05 and hit it off like I have never done before, ever. We ended up getting together and having an affair.
This affair or whatever you call it made me realize that I don't think I really ever loved my wife like this. I mean I didn't even really realize that one could feel like this. I have talked to many a friend about this mess.
About 2 months ago I confessed to my wife that I was in love with another woman and was leaving. Thus I packed a bag and left for one night. This was very scary for me to be displaced like that. So, I ended up calling her the next day and saying I wanted to work it out. I am still not sure if I want to or not. Anyway she wants to work it out also and we are now going through marriage counsiling, just started this.
I admit I have been still seeing this other woman. Only no sexual contact. I feel that I am very much in love with this other woman. But I also think that my wife never really did what is possible for me. So, I now realize that another woman or not there is much more out there.
We have two kids and I am afraid of hurting them if I left. I love my kids and would do whatever I need to, to keep them safe.
I don't know if I am asking you all a questing or just venting, but I hurt. I love this other woman like no other, but my wife is not a bad person and a good mother. There is just so much in a divorce that scares the heck out of me that I'm not sure if I can do it.
Paul.
I have been married for 13 years. Prior to that I had dated this woman for 4 years. We met very young. I have always been very insecure with women/girls. When I met this person I did not really feel like I was in love, and the releationship kept going even though I wanted to break it off several times. I sort of figured well its not tht bad.
We got married because it was sort of the next step. We really have had a good life together. We enjoy the same things and have gotten along pretty good. But to be candid, I don't think I ever really had a true love with this person. For me it was much easier to just be content with my situation rather thatn rock the boat. I know this was not a good idea. But at that time I was very insecure and had a confidence problem. I like to think I have changed with those aspects.
For the past couple years I have thought of leaving her, but again whats the point. I mean we have built a good life: a house, two great kids and all the toys that go along with this. I never hated her, but never really truely loved her.
So, just about 1 years ago I meet this woman (its kinda of a long story of how we met). I was not out looking, but when we met (job releated) sparks flew and I saw fireworks.
Had contact with her, for business purposes twice a few months past meeting her. Well to make a real long story short we met again in late December of 05 and hit it off like I have never done before, ever. We ended up getting together and having an affair.
This affair or whatever you call it made me realize that I don't think I really ever loved my wife like this. I mean I didn't even really realize that one could feel like this. I have talked to many a friend about this mess.
About 2 months ago I confessed to my wife that I was in love with another woman and was leaving. Thus I packed a bag and left for one night. This was very scary for me to be displaced like that. So, I ended up calling her the next day and saying I wanted to work it out. I am still not sure if I want to or not. Anyway she wants to work it out also and we are now going through marriage counsiling, just started this.
I admit I have been still seeing this other woman. Only no sexual contact. I feel that I am very much in love with this other woman. But I also think that my wife never really did what is possible for me. So, I now realize that another woman or not there is much more out there.
We have two kids and I am afraid of hurting them if I left. I love my kids and would do whatever I need to, to keep them safe.
I don't know if I am asking you all a questing or just venting, but I hurt. I love this other woman like no other, but my wife is not a bad person and a good mother. There is just so much in a divorce that scares the heck out of me that I'm not sure if I can do it.
Paul.
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