Well, wife came to bed yesterday ... after having read some pro marriage books and all, she is not angry but sorry that she feels the way she does - 'Her not being in love' ...
I said, we cannot go on like this forever, that her feelings of not loving me and me being extremely patient, which I reminded her I was not (she laughed). She agreed.
I took off my ring and she was understanding of this ... I said I did not want to send the wrong signals to women. We are both understanding of each others needs ... I'm respectful of hers and she understands my needs after having educated ourselves.
Question is this, I'm not sure she realized the extent of what is involved in a seperation agreement and the time it takes. She's pushing for 'primary caregiver' with our current home being the primary residence. I said that to protect us from future issues that I wanted the Seperation agreement to state 50/50 custody and shared access and parenting. In other words - kids are split between us down the middle. Although it was like this on paper, we could work out phsical custody to accomdate based on the childrens age. They be young, it may not be in their best interest to move form house to house at such an early age ... however, knowing full well, that both our interests and the childrens have to be documented in the seperation agreement to allievate any future misunderstandings.
Is it best for her to initiate or I?
You know, what DecentDad mentioned though, rings in my ears, that after having done the math ... this hubby may get screwed and may find it financially challenging to raise kids in a 50/50 custody, shared parenting agreement?
I don't know? My friend said, best to plan while you are not in so much emotional turmoil ...
Oh boy, I've reached the fork in the road, decision time. I'm trying to be realistic ... it take MONEY to raise kids.
I could use some wisdom and advice ... HELP!
Hubby
I said, we cannot go on like this forever, that her feelings of not loving me and me being extremely patient, which I reminded her I was not (she laughed). She agreed.
I took off my ring and she was understanding of this ... I said I did not want to send the wrong signals to women. We are both understanding of each others needs ... I'm respectful of hers and she understands my needs after having educated ourselves.
Question is this, I'm not sure she realized the extent of what is involved in a seperation agreement and the time it takes. She's pushing for 'primary caregiver' with our current home being the primary residence. I said that to protect us from future issues that I wanted the Seperation agreement to state 50/50 custody and shared access and parenting. In other words - kids are split between us down the middle. Although it was like this on paper, we could work out phsical custody to accomdate based on the childrens age. They be young, it may not be in their best interest to move form house to house at such an early age ... however, knowing full well, that both our interests and the childrens have to be documented in the seperation agreement to allievate any future misunderstandings.
Is it best for her to initiate or I?
You know, what DecentDad mentioned though, rings in my ears, that after having done the math ... this hubby may get screwed and may find it financially challenging to raise kids in a 50/50 custody, shared parenting agreement?
I don't know? My friend said, best to plan while you are not in so much emotional turmoil ...
Oh boy, I've reached the fork in the road, decision time. I'm trying to be realistic ... it take MONEY to raise kids.
I could use some wisdom and advice ... HELP!
Hubby
Comment