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Experience with Justice System RANT

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  • Experience with Justice System RANT

    I’m having a problem coming to terms with the experiences I’ve had thus far with the criminal justice system and am hoping someone can perhaps give me a different outlook or perspective.


    My ex assaulted me back in July 2012 when he punched me in the head without warning during an argument then proceeded to grab me by the back of the head shaking me while my face hit the middle console. All of this while he was driving at 80km/hr and our 11 month old was in the back seat. He was charged, pled guilty and we are now awaiting his sentencing that has been postponed so far about 4 times. He had assaulted me about 9 months prior by pushing me up against the wall, lifting me off the floor by my neck with our then 3 month old daughter in my arms, banging my head against the wall in the process. Thankfully, she was unharmed but my 4 yr old (at the time) heard the commotion and went into hysterics. I did not call the police at that time choosing to try and work through things on our own…bad idea.

    So a year later after much reflection, I’m absoultey disgusted with our criminal justice system. I wonder whether my experience is common-place or if I was just unfortunate to end up dealing with some crappy individuals.

    It started when my ex was arrested. The detective on the case called me late that night to tell me he would be released and also took my verbal impact statement at that time. The detective asked where I was staying and I had indicated I was residing at my parent’s home temporarily since it was a safe and supportive environment. The detective then stated that my ex should be allowed to reside in the home since I wasn’t going to be there. When I expressed my concern that I didn’t feel my ex could care for my 2 dogs with his work schedule since he worked sometimes 10-12 hrs/day, he got quite heated saying there was no reason that my ex shouldn’t reside in the home and that my ex said he would care for the dogs. He also said that my ex had to finish painting his uncle’s car, which blew me away. For a week, I had no access to our clothes/belongings since a restraining order was in place against him, and I had no idea if my dogs were being taken care of. As you can imagine at a point where I was drained, terrified and still bruised I was beside myself. I figured the detective was viewing my ex as the victim and, as I had been worried all along, would believe what he was saying since he could be very charming and believable when he wants to be. <OI won't even start with my CAS experience. Let's just say I'm not a fan.

    It was shortly after this that I found out my ex had a history of violence against women. I found his release conditions in a pile of our papers in our office (I was dividing up our stuff and putting his aside). He had never disclosed this to me. From what I understand he was charged, pled guilty and received a conditional discharge. So it was wiped after his probation. I never would have known about that had I not found it. What was upsetting at this point in time was the assigned detective would have been privy to this information when he allowed Kevin to reside in our home for the week following the assault.

    Ok, so then I start speaking with contacts at VWAP. They give me a run-down of what will occur and were actually a wonderful resource. I provide my victim impact statement to them. He pleads guilty to assault but they wipe the bodily harm apparently since there is no medical record. I’m told his history is not allowed to be presented. There are plenty of pictures however to show the bruises, split lip, blood on the seat and cracked windshield. His sentencing keeps being postponed since they were waiting for him to finish the New Directions program (2<SUP>nd</SUP> time through I might add). Then this last time his lawyers postpone the sentencing because one has a son graduating, they say. My ex tells my parents they postponed it because they were waiting for another letter from one of the programs he’s in. I’ve shown up twice now to read my impact statement and both times have been told it’s postponed after paying parking and taking time off work. He’s been told the night before. Grrr.

    <OThe real eye opener for me has been my discussions with VWAP and the Crown. My ex has a criminal history (prior assault charge and restraining order against him) but because he doesn’t have a criminal record none of his past history is presented. So in essence from what I understand an individual can commit a vicious assault every few years and receive a conditional discharge each time. As long as they commit the assault outside their probationary period, it is wiped as if it never happened and the courts will NOT have access to this info when they negotiate his plea. The only way his/her history is presented is if it’s requested for the sentencing and even then it may not be granted. Am I going insane? Is that not ridiculous?
    <O

    I can totally comprehend if one has commited an assault once …everyone should be given a 2<SUP>nd</SUP> chance (depending on the severity of course). But how many chances should one get? Why isn’t the public privy to this information? Why do a criminal’s rights supercede the rights of his/her past, present and future victims? Quite honestly, I can’t get my mind around it and although so many people in the system tell me it’s frustrating and unfair, they also tell me “It’s just the way it is”. So WHY is it like this?

    I can’t get over how much the rights are protected of individuals who commit crimes repeatedly. When I wrote my impact statement I was told I can’t include his past history since it’s unfair to him. It doesn’t give him a fair trial if that info is presented. Hm, well perhaps he should have thought about that before bashing my head in. I’m also told I can’t talk about when he breached his conditions because he wasn’t charged yet. I’m trying to explain why I fear him and want a restraining order but again, it’s unfair to him.

    So what about my rights as the victim? What about his past victim’s rights? I just don’t get it at all and don’t understand why everyone just accepts it. It seems like if you have someone who knows the system and is a great manipulator he/she can go through his/her whole life assaulting individuals and never have a record or serve jail time. It doesn’t make any sense to me. Perhaps someone can shed some light though if one more person tells me “Its just the way it is”, I may have a meltdown lol.

  • #2
    I'm sorry you were assaulted - you gave him a second chance and he could not control himself, as seems to be his history. Hard to imagine how anyone could do that. Though, it would be nice if it happened to him I'll have to admit

    He deserves to be punished like any assault.

    If you were not staying at your home, I do agree that he should be allowed to.

    You didn't mention the cracked windshield until later in your story - how did the windshield become cracked?
    Last edited by billm; 07-04-2013, 11:12 AM.

    Comment


    • #3
      Thanks biilm. From further discussion with the Victim Crisis Unit it is not customary that the individual who commited the assault be allowed to reside in the home. I was only planning on staying at my parents for a couple of days to get support and be in a "safe" place until I had a safety plan in place. In addition to that, my dogs were left for long periods of time in his care and upon my return would mess constantly. They are older dogs and STILL can't be left or they will mess.

      The windshield cracked when he ripped the rear view mirror off in his rage right after the assault.

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      • #4
        Oh and I might add that because he had an acquaintance replace the windshield at our home we didn't get a receipt but I paid for it in cash since he had no money. This occured before he was arrested obviously. And now because there is no receipt and I paid in cash even with the picture I may not get compensated for it. Frustrating...

        Comment


        • #5
          I am sympathetic to your experience and hope you recover. That being said, you are going to run into trouble if you want to connect family court to criminal court, and expect your ex to be punished in family court because he assaulted you.

          Don't feel downtrodden because you won't be reimbursed for the windshield, or because you left the family home and he is now residing there.

          Criminal court is the place where your ex should answer to the assault, and family court is where you sort out your financials based on mathematics. Try to keep a clear head about this. You won't get reimbursed for the windshield because he is a violent jackass.

          Comment


          • #6
            Mess, I am not looking for my ex to be punished through the family law side. Please explain what you mean by that statement. I am hoping the criminal side will take care of it (although not counting on it) and when it comes to the family side I'm hoping for a restraining order against him since I don't feel safe. But I in no way am looking to punish him on the family law side aside from compensation on the damages. If you view looking out for the safety of my daughter as punishment then that's your perception but I know in my own heart that's not what I'm doing.

            It's funny because everyone seems to play each side against each other. VCU starts off by telling you he's a monster and to get away from him and if i don't it will happen again. That it's a pattern that's tough to break. The criminal side says to get protection from the family side since he likely will get another slap on the hand because that's just the way the system is. Then the family law side says if he doesn't get a restraining order from the criminal side then why should they give one. All this despite proof and a charge, a history and a guilty plea. Sorry, I still don't get it.

            I would like compensation from the damages and from what I understand would likely have received them if I had a receipt on the family law side. My frustration is that in the mindset I was in I can't say I was thinking that obtaining the receipt was the most important thing at the time. My bad. But why shouldn't I request to be compensated? I didn't crack the windshield. Of course, I should be reimbursed for the windshield because he's a violent jackass, that's the point. Why should he not have to pay it? I'm not following you.

            Yes, why not let him NOT pay for the damages and it's yet again another thing he's not responsible for so he can continue to glide through and keep getting rewarded for his violent behaviour. Believe me, I'm trying to keep as clear a head as i can through all this but it becomes increasingly more difficult as people (or the system) continue to make excuses for him and his behavior.

            Comment


            • #7
              Something to consider and why you may be experiencing these difficulties and to Mess' point (I think):

              Winning family battles in criminal court

              Shaw v. Shaw, 2008 ONCJ 130 (CanLII)
              Date: 2008-03-25
              Docket: 34/08
              Parallel citations: 62 RFL (6th) 100
              URL: CanLII - 2008 ONCJ 130 (CanLII)
              Citation: Shaw v. Shaw, 2008 ONCJ 130 (CanLII)

              Originally posted by Shaw v. Shaw
              I observe, however, that the damage of which I speak is not from the laying of the charge — this will happen in any event, regardless of the manner in which the defendant is brought before the court. The way that the criminal justice system approaches the commencement of these matters, however, often wreaks family law havoc with the family unit of the defendant and the complainant, and in particular the children of those parties. Family courts decide custody and access issues on the basis of statute and case law defining the best interests of the children. The criminal justice system pays no attention to such interests because it is not geared up to do so nor are the participants widely trained in how the actions of the system — from the officer who refuses to release the defendant at the station, to the duty counsel who allows the defendant to agree to inappropriate conditions of release out of expediency — effect the lives of the members of the defendant’s family. Similarly the Superior Court is tasked with the duty of adjudicating the respective rights of the parties to remain in the matrimonial home pending the resolution of the matrimonial litigation. Routine orders excluding a party from the common home of the parties until the end of the criminal matter without thought to the consequences thereof, and without a remedy short of a bail review, place one party in a position of immediate superiority over the other party for as long as it takes (perhaps a year) for defended criminal charges to be resolved.
              Good Luck!
              Tayken

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by SoccerMom73 View Post
                Please explain what you mean by that statement...
                Family court is not the place where you should be going to seek any form of compensation or reimbursment. It is a place where financial issues are dealt with mathematically, not according to who harmed who. You will not be compensated in family court because your ex is a violent jackass.

                Your financials will be determined by what you brought into the marriage compared to what you have now. This will be compared to what your ex brought into the marriage compared to what he has now.

                Your comment that you are upset that you paid for the windshield just indicates that you are putting an emotional attachment to the financial situation. If you drag that kind of thing into family court, all you are doing is increasing your legal bill.

                Your ex assaulted you and will be punished in criminal court for that. He will not be punished in family court for it - although it may affect his access with the children. Don't look for compensation in family court for his behaviour.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Thanks Tayken. This is an interesting article and raises some good points. I have to say that a huge part of the problem with regards to my perception of this entire situation is that I have very little background (or interest for that matter) in the legal field...criminal, family, whatever. I'm pretty much forced to take an interest now though

                  Let me clarify that the officer (who was part of the assault unit and deals with these kinds of issues regularly) had allowed for my ex to stay in the home for a week following the assault but after that time I was allowed to resume residing there with the children. My issue with it was that this man who had just beat the crap out of me was allowed residence even on a temporary basis because he told the officer he needed to paint his uncle's car and because he said he would care for my dogs. The officer would have seen his past history if there was any doubt about my side of the story (plus the pictures that don't lie). So it's difficult for me to get my mind around the fact that an officer (who has experience in this field) would think it fine that he make things difficult for the victim and her children because the individual charged needs to complete a task. To me, if there is sound proof, which there was, it was his choice to act violently and so therefore he should suffer the consequences...not be rewarded for this behaviour.

                  But yes, I'm seeing more and more how the criminal and family sides do not mesh on many levels. Thanks again.

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                  • #10
                    I might be being a bit curt here but...

                    From a family law perspective it is his home too. Where did you think he would go after being released by the police? Who would be paying the rent/mortgage? How would he get money to survive if he can't finish the work he started (uncle's car) assuming that's his job.

                    He assaulted you and that's terrible and will be handled by criminal court. Outside of that, his life is falling apart now and he needs to live, work and eat like anyone else.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by FightingForFamily View Post
                      I might be being a bit curt here but...

                      From a family law perspective it is his home too. Where did you think he would go after being released by the police? Who would be paying the rent/mortgage? How would he get money to survive if he can't finish the work he started (uncle's car) assuming that's his job.

                      He assaulted you and that's terrible and will be handled by criminal court. Outside of that, his life is falling apart now and he needs to live, work and eat like anyone else.
                      I concur. And last time I checked, in our country we are innocent, until proven guilty. Officers of the law don't get to determine.
                      Start a discussion, not a fire. Post with kindness.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Thanks Mess. As I mentioned, I don't have much experience/knowledge in the legal field so I appreciate your clarification. My initial family lawyer had been the one who had put the damages in the offer to settle so I had just assumed that's how it worked. But good to know. And also good that perhaps even after paying $5000 to my old one for little results, I have a new lawyer.

                        And you are right, perhaps unrightfully so, I am putting an emotional attachment to the windshield. Its rather tough for me not to since it appears not only will he likely not get punished by more than a slap on the hand from the criminal side, but he won't have to pay for any of the suffering I've had to endure (financial, stress etc).

                        The financials are a whole other ballgame, I'm afraid. Not only have I provided statement after statement (and form 13.1 of course) but he has provided nothing to date aside from stating what I provide is incorrect. I see here that is commonplace which is unfortunate. I'm hoping at some point it will be ordered.

                        It's frustrating but I guess it is just the way it is

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                        • #13
                          Wow, scary. I feel as if I'm in the Twilight Zone here with the statements above.

                          Frankly, I don't think it should be my problem that he doesn't have a place to live after he committed a violent crime. He broke the law and that's his problem, not mine. He should suffer the consequences, no? If it were reversed I would expect the same treatment for myself or for anyone else for that matter.

                          Sure his name is on the house and he has a right to what he has put into it but it blows my mind that you feel he has a right to live there when he made the choice to break the law. He committed a crime and there were release conditions of a restraining order in place immediately because of it. We both can't stay there and he was the one who committed the crime so why should it be him. He violated my rights with his actions. Why should he be treated fairly in that instance?

                          Seriously, this is why people like my ex keep doing what they do. Because they aren't held accountable and the system makes excuses for them and keeps giving them chances. Perhaps next time he can kill me or my daughter. Sheesh. Why should people who assault and repeatedly beat people up be rewarded for that behaviour? And why should his rights be equal to mine when he has and continues to do so?

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Oh and btw, it's funny that you know my ex and state his life was falling apart. So easy to make that statement. I'll have you know in the weeks following the assault my ex was on a dating site sending multiple messages a day, hosting hot tub parties and attending cottage parties. All on facebook for all to see (the parties not the dating...I heard that first-hand from a mutual friend). All this while I tried to figure out how to pay the mortgage on a very limited income. All while I scrambled to pay for food, expenses and legal bills and not fall apart for the kids. While he lived rent free at a friend's home and partied his butt off.

                            Despite all that, although hurt and my self esteem took a beating, I still tried to keep an objective mindset, as much as possible anyways. Stating to my lawyer from the get-go, I don't want to see him fry, I just wanted it to be fair.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              SoccerMom73, not to be rude, but, you might be best to discuss your situation with a qualified mental health professional. As you are involved with Victim Services in your jurisdiction they can make a referral for you to a medical professional. You may be experiencing significant mental health issues. This is not to say you are "mentally ill" but, in need of professional support. This forum is not a great place to seek the kind of support you may require after having been involved in a matter of intimate partner abuse.

                              No one on this forum is trained nor qualified to assist you with your unique and individual needs for support at this time. Don't be afraid to seek the help you need but, I highly recommend you seek it from properly qualified medical professionals.

                              I am not trying to be mean but, to direct you to professionals who can help you. No one who contributes to this forum to the best of my knowledge is qualified to support someone who has experienced intimate partner abuse.

                              Please, don't be afraid to seek help.
                              Tayken

                              Comment

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